Bleach my Soul
by drazzah
Summary: AU. After the Winter War, Kurosaki Ichigo vanished. He is discovered after two years in the prison of Central 46, having been wrongfully incarcerated. Ichigo struggles with the aftermath of what has been done to him, but it seems there is something deeper going on which may prove fatal unless he can figure it out with the help of a certain scientist-turned-shopkeeper.
1. Escape

Hey guys, this is my first Bleach story! Be gentle! Reviews are always appreciated, but never required. But if this story is complete crap, please tell me so I don't continue to post ^^. This is just something I really felt I needed to write.

A few things I want to say beforehand:

1\. To all of my followers for the Naruto story: I'm really sorry to leave you hanging! The guilt is real. That story has been giving me some big issues, and my muse drifted over to Bleach when this idea popped into my head. This story is nearly done so I will be hopping back over to Secrets of a Fox very soon! Sorry again!

2\. Now that those guys are taken care of, I just want to say that this fic is pretty AU. I tried to get the spirit of the characters but they're definitely not canon. I also do realize that Central 46's prison is underground.. in my story they also have a tower that houses a few 'special' prisoners. It'll make more sense later on hopefully!

All rights belong to Tite Kibo, of course! Rated M just to be totally safe.. the characters of Bleach do love to curse and draw blood, after all.

I think I covered most of it, so I'll be quiet. Please enjoy!

* * *

Ichigo felt something different.

He didn't really feel much now, outside in the "real world". He had retreated to his inner world to live out his days with Zangetsu and his hollow a long time ago. Not that he could track the passage of time here, but it felt like an eternity.

But today, finally, something shifted outside of his subconscious.

It intrigued him enough that he stood up from his nap on the gleaming glass of one of the towers that decorated his soulscape, and stretched his arms towards the bright cloudy sky above him. Zangetsu drifted forward in curiosity, his deep soothing voice echoing towards Ichigo.

 _Waking up today, Ichigo? It is most likely a guard checking that you're still alive, you know._

"Yeah, yeah. It's not like I'm doing anything here right now though, is it?" Ichigo spoke through a wide yawn. Mostly they trained, had deep conversations, or all went their separate ways for a break. Today was one of those days, although his hollow liked to always stick close to Ichigo to mock the orange-haired Shinigami. Even though they'd become something like friends in their shared exile here in Ichigo's inner world, they didn't really get along. Speaking of which, Hichigo should be around here some-

"Oof!" Ichigo grunted, as something slammed into the back of his head. He turned a glare on his washed out twin, rubbing his head. "What do you want?"

 _Yo, King. You're going to the real world today? Feels like something exciting is happening. Let's kick all their asses if they've come to unseal us finally!"_

Hichigo's grin was wide and crazed, but Ichigo knew he was rather entitled to his thoughts in this case. Besides, it wasn't like he would actually do anything his hollow said. Hichigo would always want chaos and blood, while all Ichigo craved was some peace. Not world peace, or anything as stupid as that, but just peace for himself.

And freedom, but he didn't see that coming any time soon.

After the battle with Aizen, Central 46 had swooped in while Ichigo was injured, weak and unconscious to take him away. While the old members of Central 46 had been murdered by Aizen, they'd quickly reinstated a new council before the Winter War in hopes that they could help keep Soul Society stable in the wake of the battles to come. So there had been plenty of people to persecute Ichigo.

He remembered, vision hazy as he was forced awake, the grim faces of the elite as they stared down accusingly at him. Yamamoto was in a coma, unlikely to wake, and Aizen was sealed and locked away, but they still had _him_ to deal with, they said. They had been promised that Ichigo would lose his Shinigami powers in the battle, but here he was, powers weakened greatly, but intact just the same. He may not have a Zanpakuto any longer, but clearly he would grow to be powerful once more. Then there was the matter of his hollow..

They had debated in harsh tones, while Ichigo had been helpless beneath them. They'd used high level Kido to bind him to his seat, unable to move or to speak. He could remember screaming at them in his head. He'd given up his powers to save them all from something that had happened before he'd even been born. Why was he being punished for growing strong enough to do so? All he'd ever used his powers for was to protect others. But they just glared at him and carried on like they didn't see the anger and pain in his eyes.

There had been a few sympathetic faces in the crowd, but it seemed nothing was to be done to stop this. Kurosaki Ichigo was to be sealed away. He had no loyalty to Soul Society, other than being the Substitute Shinigami. He had gotten that title by invading in the first place. His hollow had rampaged out of control more than once, most notably in Hueco Mundo. He had been able to beat Aizen, and that much power in a human was unheard of. Dangerous.

There was also the matter of Ichigo's seemingly sympathetic words after the battle about Aizen. This child could turn on them, they'd argued. He would grow back to his former strength at any time, so they should seal him away while he was weak and until the Gotei 13 were strong enough to deal with him once more. They had no Captain-Commander right now, so how could they let him walk freely away when he could turn around and ruin them?

Ichigo had been stunned at their words. He knew he was powerful, but his Zanpakuto had disappeared after the battle, when his remaining reiatsu had drifted away. He wasn't sure why his Shinigami powers remained, after even Zangetsu had warned him of the consequences. He'd thought he'd finally be a normal human; a fitting end to all of the battles and the war. It wasn't his fault he was still a Shinigami! In the end, they'd ruled to convene in one years time, providing the Gotei 13 were intact by that time. This meant that he would still be weakened when they released him and they'd be better able to control the outcome of this ordeal. It was for the good of Soul Society.

He remembered the pain of the final seal before they'd locked him away in the prison that Aizen had been sentenced to. It felt like he'd been hit by a train, all of his nerves grating underneath his skin, bones feeling like they were being crushed under an unimaginable weight. His soul had felt like it was being torn in a thousand pieces. He'd never felt such agony.

He'd known what they'd done. They'd sealed his powers away somewhere, separate from his body, before they'd sealed the rest of him so that he would stay locked down and under their control.

They had also condemned him. Surely if he stayed here this long in soul form his human body would die, right? He'd refused to shed any tears in front of them, but he'd been filled with despair and a deep anger. They were damning him for saving them all. They'd killed him, ruined his future.

After he'd been imprisoned, he'd remained conscious for awhile. Days, or weeks. He'd been bound and blindfolded, drowning in his own body. He'd been able to speak, and he had. He'd berated, he'd pleaded, he'd shouted. No one ever answered him, and eventually he'd felt the presence of his sword and his hollow within him. Which should have been impossible if they had sealed away all of his Shinigami powers, leaving him as a soul.

He'd immediately meditated and had been greeted by his Zanpakuto and hollow. _Here_ was his soul, mostly complete in only this place. Those fools at Central 46 had overlooked this. Here he could still train, fight, interact, and keep sharp. Even if his body withered away, here he could grow strong and wait out his sentence. He hoped they'd be shocked when they unsealed him and realized their mistake.

He'd then spent his days doing just that. Periodically he would wake up, just to check, but nothing changed except for an increasing sense of weakness and loneliness. Until today.

Ichigo blinked, and stared upwards at the sky. It was raining again, just from reminiscing. It had poured for months when he'd first begun to come here. No storms, just a steady wash of freezing rain from dark ominous clouds. He'd been unable to stop it, since this reflected how his soul felt. He realized he was clenching his fists, and relaxed them. They ached..

 _KING!_ The voice shouted directly by his ear and Ichigo jumped, bare feet sliding on the slick glass beneath him. Hichigo was glaring at him, waving towards the sky. _Don't start this shit again, you girl. I ain't living through endless crappy weather again, you hear me?_

Ichigo rolled his eyes as he regained his footing. "Sorry to inconvenience you. You're the girl if you can't take a little rain."

 _What?! I'll show you who's weak. Fight me! Come on!"_ Hichigo moved forwards, eyes lit in challenge, and Ichigo grinned fiercely, always game to spar.

They were interrupted by Zangetsu's stern tones. _Stop it. Ichigo, something is happening. Go see what it is. I have a feeling that today is the day things change._

Ichigo's brown eyes widened and he paused. Zangetsu was right, he could _feel_ the difference. Excitement and dread filled him in equal measures, and he exchanged glances with his hollow.

"You heard him, Hichigo. We'll finish this later if it does turn out to be nothing." Hichigo nodded, waving him off as he turned to bother Zangetsu instead.

Ichigo closed his eyes and focused outwards. It'd been awhile since he'd tried to awaken, but in the blink of an eye he was back.

* * *

It felt like he was old and frail. His body was stiff, and always painful, whenever he surfaced. Forced inactivity as well as the sealing of his reiatsu had done a number on him apparently.

His brow furrowed in discomfort as he took stock of the room around him. He felt.. air? A change in the air, like it was actually flowing freely around him instead of sitting stale and heavy. The door must be open. He strained his hearing and two voices, lifted in anger, reached his ears. He thought one sounded familiar, but it had been a long time since he'd heard any voices at all so he couldn't be sure. It wasn't important, and he couldn't catch what they were saying anyways.

He tried to open heavy, aching eyes but they resisted. Ah. Still blindfolded then. Maybe it _was_ just a guard checking up on him.

 _Looks like it's nothing, guys. Sorry._ He could hear Hichigo's loud-ass complaints even out here. Go figure.

He was about to go back under when the voices moved closer so that he could hear snatches of conversation.

"-you had no right-"

"It was for the protection of Soul-"

"The Captain-Commander demands-"

The voices grew closer until they were right outside the door. There was a familiar sound, one he was frustrated not to be able to place, and then a hard voice spoke over the protests of the others.

"Leave us. Captain-Commander Yamamoto is downstairs, you will speak to him if you have anything to say."

That seemed to settle it because Ichigo heard the others leave. What the hell was going on?

 _Not a false alarm after all, is it, Ichigo?_ He hoped Zangetsu was right. And that he wasn't about to be killed, because that would _really_ suck.

He felt something brush his face, which suddenly felt lighter. Ichigo's eyes popped open at that, and to his shock his blindfold was gone. He squinted in the harsh light spilling from the open doorway. His prison cell was in deep shadows, looking like the cave it pretty much was, which made it hard to see.

As his eyes adjusted, which seemed to take forever, he looked to the door again and blinked until his vision sharpened. He felt like he'd been asleep a long time. Hell, he probably had been. He wondered idly how long he'd been in his soulscape since the last time he'd checked out the real world.

A figure blocked the light of the hallway. He hoped it wasn't a guard. Back lit as the person was, he had no idea who it could be. And with his reiatsu sealed he had no hope of recognizing them that way, so he just waited. He didn't think he could even speak after this long.

They stepped forward and the lights in the room suddenly blazed. Ichigo slammed his eyes shut as pain speared through them. Well shit, thanks for the warning, he thought in irritation. There was a mumbled apology, thankfully in a quiet voice. He carefully cracked his eyes open again, and realized that the figure was a lot closer, kneeling down next to him now. Features came slowly into focus. Ichigo would have known that face anywhere, despite the lack of his hat or fan. Still, Ichigo stayed quiet as they locked gazes.

"Kurosaki-san." Urahara murmured, eyes full of something like regret. "So this is where you've been hiding. We found you at last, right under our noses."

Ichigo's brow furrowed. It might have been a long time since he'd talked to anyone other than his spirits, but this wasn't making much sense to him. His eyes must have reflected his confusion because Urahara sighed and glanced away briefly.

"We'll have to explain it all later on. For now, Captain-Commander Yamamoto is organizing your release from Central 46. He is also gathering an explanation as to how this could have happened. And under whose orders." His normally kind eyes, sharp with intelligence, were darkened in true anger.

Ichigo didn't really know what to say. Was it true that _no one_ , in all of Soul Society, had noticed he was here? That no one in the Gotei 13 had knowledge of this, or tried to help him out if they did? Ichigo was racked with doubt and suspicion, as he never had been before. It was all too hard to believe that they were going to release him just like that.

He tried to clear his throat, but it felt gritty and rough. It took him two tries to even utter one word, and his brows furrowed deeper in annoyance at the inconvenience. "So.. you're a Captain now?" He grated out. The words sounded rusty and hoarse. They didn't sound like _him_. "How long.. have I been here?"

Urahara's face tightened like he was in pain, features grim. "Yes, for now. They asked me to take over the Fifth Division until Soul Society was strengthened and they found a suitable replacement. As soon as they do I will most likely return to my shop." There was none of the gaiety that usually coloured his tones as he straightforwardly answered the real question at hand. "You've been here for twenty six months, Kurosaki-san."

Ichigo's eyes widened, and he knew his mouth was opening and closing like his brain thought he should protest. What was he going to argue about here? It had happened, all of those months were gone forever. Fragments of thoughts swept through his mind, none catching hold except one: twenty six months. _Twenty six months?!_ His chest tightened as pain swept through him and he gasped reflexively.

He vaguely heard Urahara say his name, but his head was whirling, eyes focused on nothing in particular. Ichigo didn't get it. He shouldn't be this shocked by the news. He'd _known_ that he'd been imprisoned here a long time, though he'd never had a real way to track the passage of time. Was it just because it had actually been confirmed? It was like the injustice of it all, what he'd lost for over two years, was crashing over him and dragging him under like a riptide...

When he felt himself being shaken roughly, Ichigo crashed back into the present. He realized his lungs were burning; he gulped in one breath, then another, until the black spots cleared away. His vision was still blurry, and he realized with mortification that his eyes were clouded with tears. He blinked them back as he fought to settle down, trying to control his breathing. Ichigo could hear Zangetsu and Hichigo trying to help. _It's alright. I've got it. Sorry to worry you guys._ He finally grasped his control and focused on Urahara's worried face, which was filling his view.

"Are you all right, Kurosaki-san?" The blonde Captain was still speaking softly, although there was an edge to his voice now. Ichigo nodded mutely, and the hands he hadn't realized were gripping his upper arms were released.

It had been stupid to panic like that, he berated himself. He closed his eyes wearily. He really should have known that Central 46 wouldn't keep their promise of reviewing in one year's time. Or maybe they had, and had ruled against him again? Who knew.. The fact that Urahara was here in front of him was promising, but Ichigo didn't dare get his hopes up. With his luck they would overrule Gramps and put the blindfold back on. Inwardly he could feel Zangetsu and Hichigo stirring in interest and excitement at the new developments, now that Ichigo was back in control. At least _they_ had some hope. He blinked his eyes back open as a sudden thought occurred to him, making his heart skip a beat.

"Is this actually real? Or did.. did I finally go crazy?" Urahara gazed up at him with wide eyes, but Ichigo was serious. He'd been listening to other prisoners going mad for what felt like forever. Although forever had only been twenty six months, apparently.

Urahara's voice was firm as he replied. "It's very real, Kurosaki-san. You're far from insane. It may be hard to believe, but you're going to be leaving this place very soon."

Ichigo huffed a laugh, wincing at the foreign sound of his voice. "I guess I couldn't feel this shitty if I was just imagining all of this, huh?" He glanced away from the sympathy in Urahara's gaze as he voiced his agreement to that statement. His eyes drifted back to the older man when he felt fingers tracing the restraints on his arm.

"What are you doing now?" Ichigo could tell his voice was tired, defeated. He wanted to get pissed off, but he didn't have the energy. He felt drained, like he'd aged a thousand years. He wished, not for the first time, that he could feel his reiatsu flowing through him and filling him with that familiar buzzing energy. But really, he just wanted to be free; to see the real sky, to feel grass and wind and rain. Urahara's stare seemed to read all of this, eyes darting quickly across Ichigo's face. He wondered what he looked like after two years in the dark. Probably like shit. He gave a halfhearted snort, ignoring the other man's questioning gaze.

Seeing that Ichigo was in no mood to elaborate, Urahara returned to deftly untying the bindings that immobilized his limbs. "What does it look like I'm doing, Kurosaki-san? Don't you want these off?"

Ichigo turned back to staring straight ahead, uncaring. His voice cracked when he tried to speak again. "Not if they're gonna put 'em right back on." Man, he could use some water or something.

Urahara sighed as he freed his right arm, moving to the left. "I don't blame you for being skeptical, Kursosaki-san. But the Captain-Commander won't let this stand now that he is aware. If he hadn't been in a coma for the first four months after the war, it never would have happened in the first place." He glanced up at Ichigo's blank face quickly. "Not that if _any_ of us had known we would have allowed it. You disappeared from your room at the Fourth Division barracks and no one could find you. I myself was back in Karakura town soon after the war, until the Captain-Commander called for me when he awakened. When I found out you were missing in Soul Society I began to search for you. They had believed that you were in the human world somewhere, powers lost, and we in the human world had believed you were somewhere in Soul Society." His left arm was free now, but Ichigo only flexed his fingers slightly.

He had a lot of questions, but couldn't seem to drum up any motivation to ask them. He clenched his right hand into a fist, finally glancing down at himself. He was appalled, to say the least, and he could hear Hichigo in the back of his mind echoing his own thoughts upon seeing his wasted body.

 _King, you're so weak looking. Ya know, if we weren't partners now I could totally take you over!_ There was a maniacal chuckle. Ichigo knew the bastard wasn't totally joking.

But it was true. He had lost the bulk of muscle he'd trained for, and was now lanky and thin, bordering on gaunt. His bones and tendons stood out, his hands looking skeletal in appearance. He was also covered in ropes of incantations that looked like tattoos: his seal. His fist shook lightly as he squeezed it, no real strength in his grip.

Zangetsu chimed in, in his typical soothing manner. _It will take time to get your body back to full strength, but once you are unsealed it will be only a matter of time, Ichigo._

Part of him realized that this was true, but right now he didn't recognize himself and that frightened him. Would he even be able to _lift_ Zangetsu if he reformed? What had they done to him?

He realized too late that he'd spoken aloud, and he jerked his head up as Urahara spoke from where he was bending to untie Ichigo's legs.

"It seems we've done too much, and not enough." His voice was sad.

Ichigo had no reply.


	2. Revival

Chapter Two! These will come out pretty quickly, since I'm in the process of writing the ending of the story even now. It should be around 30, 000 words when all is said and done. I do have to get back to my Naruto story soon after all!

Hope you're enjoying! ^^ Reviews are appreciated so that I get some feedback and can improve for you guys.

* * *

They stayed in that room, silent and still, until someone jogged down the hall towards them and voices raised again in protest. There was a loud "Silence!" that sounded like it might be Gramps and then another shorter figure appeared in the door. Urahara stood up to face them, face loosing some of its tension.

The figure huffed in air before rushing out their words. "They're unsealin' Ichigo and releasin' him!" Ichigo startled slightly and raised his gaze. He felt Urahara's steady hand land on his shoulder.

It was Hiyori. She obviously had returned to Soul Society, judging by her robes and the Lieutenant's badge on her shoulder. And by the fact that she was, well, here. A few of the Visored had been allowed back in.. That was good. She turned her menacing gaze onto him. "Oi! Didn't ya hear me, idiot? They're gonna release your sorry ass. 'Bout time too." She grinned at him with her crooked smile.

Ichigo felt his mouth twitch very faintly in response before he turned to Urahara. He could hear Zangetsu and Hichigo's relief, and felt the warning Zangetsu was directing at him.

 _I got it, Old Man._

He had to clear his voice again before speaking. This sucked, he thought. He couldn't wait until he gained some strength, even if it was just enough to speak properly.

"When?" He asked the blonde Shinigami beside him. He knew from experience that talking to Hiyori was a pain, so he just ignored her.

"Probably very soon, they'll have begun preparations already." He smiled slightly at Ichigo. Ichigo finally felt the corner of his mouth lift in what was a poor attempt at a smile. He knew what was about to happen, after all.

"Urahara-san. I would clear the floor if I were you." He murmured in his odd, scratchy voice. "I'm not sure exactly what will happen when they release the seal." Urahara's eyes widened and he shook his head.

"I realize how powerful you were before you were sealed, Kurosaki-san, but you won't regain your full reiatsu right away I'm afraid." His voice was faintly amused. Ichigo stared back, a half smirk still in place, which seemed to make the other man falter.

"Do you know what I've been doing for the past couple of years, after I spent the first two months waiting around for someone to come for me?" Urahara shook his head uncertainly. "I've been in my inner world, training. With Zangetsu _and_ my hollow." The older man's eyes widened in realization, but Hiyori interrupted from the doorway, tired of being ignored.

"What's it matter if you were trainin' there, dumbass? You had no reiatsu. Can't do much without that." She snorted, until Ichigo turned towards her.

"How was I able to train if they took away all of my reiatsu? If I was sealed properly I shouldn't have been able to enter my inner world at all. They were careless." Ichigo actually had to pause a moment before he could continue. This was getting old already.

"There's no way you can _completely_ seal away a Shinigami's reiatsu unless you have their actual sword to draw that power from. My Zanpakuto was gone so they couldn't touch all of the reiatsu I have inside me. They just sealed whatever they could reach. Which is why they made a mistake sealing me in here with nothing to do for twenty six months." He knew his gravelly voice was tinged with bitterness, but he didn't care. Not anymore. He was about to be free of this godforsaken place.

"Anyways," He continued, gripping the chair arms and shifting his weight in preparation. "You'd better clear the floor. Because when the sealed reiatsu returns it's going to go nuts when it joins with what I've been building. I won't have any control over it." Urahara nodded, already striding towards the door and ushering Hiyori out despite her protests. Ichigo listened to muted voices raised in surprise, fading as they moved farther away. He supposed it was lucky that each floor of this tower held only one prisoner each. The most dangerous were kept in the regular prison underneath the city, but they kept one 'special interest' inmate per floor up here so they didn't sully themselves by entering the vaults below the prestigious halls of Central 46 when they wanted to monitor them.

Soon the floor was empty and he could only hear his own heart beating in the silence as he waited.

It wasn't gradual. It was like a storm. There was a snap to the air and he felt the oppressive pressure of the seal stir slightly in response. He could _feel_ his spiritual energy and soul racing towards him, closer and closer, until the power of it slammed into him, slapping him back into his seat. At the same time his seals released, the black words and symbols inked into his skin ripping away into scattered fragments. His hands convulsed tighter on the arms of the chair, as if he'd been electrocuted, and his head was thrown back, tendons straining in his neck. He was pretty sure he was screaming. It was excruciating, and at the same time dizzying and nauseating. Wind buffeted him from all sides, making his shaggy orange hair lash his face, white prison robes flapping in the tempest. Suddenly it all died down, his reiatsu swirling languidly around him, Ichigo's harsh pants filling the silence. The seal was gone.

 _Prepare yourself, Ichigo._ Zangetsu's voice, stronger than ever before. Hichigo was cackling in utter delight.

He pushed himself straighter in the chair, knowing it was the calm of the storm. The power inside of him was building up to frightening levels, while the circling reiatsu closed in. As soon as it touched his skin, the two separated energies merged in a spectacular beam of light. The hair-raising force lifted him above the chair until he was hovering, feet dangling above the ground, skin glowing as he was filled with a familiar power and warmth. The great yawning emptiness that had been plaguing him was erased as the absent portion of his soul returned. He was grinning as a joyful laugh escaped, and then he felt something else.

Zangetsu was reforming.

The reiatsu took on his familiar red and black shades, escaping from the swirling mass around him in sharp bursts. He could hear glass breaking and stone cracking with the sheer force. It kept building, ripping away the tasteless robes he'd been forced to bear, covering him in dense heavy black. His Shinigami uniform. Still the pressure built until he felt the solid weight of a sword hilt in his palm, fingers automatically closing over it, and his feet softly touched cold stone.

The world exploded. As the excess pressure released and stabilized in his revival, it was like a bomb went off, blowing away the room he was standing in. Reiatsu cascaded outwards and upwards in a great tide, touching the clouds above and rippling down the edges of the building. A whistling noise pierced the air, and after a moment of complete silence a shock wave thundered out from him, decimating whatever was still standing around him in an instant. He watched the sky suddenly open up above him in wonder.

 _Holy shit, King! This is more like it._ Ichigo couldn't agree more.

As the air settled, his reiatsu released in it's full and fearsome enormity. It was so sudden that he actually stumbled sideways. It reminded him of when he'd fought Ulquiorra, that unbelievably heavy force that filled the air. He fought to gain hold of it, to reel it back to a manageable level. He'd never been good at controlling it but he'd have to if he had any hope of moving under this pressure. He heard Zangetsu's soothing tone in the back of his mind, and tightened his grip on the warm solid hilt in his hand. He took a deep breath, concentrated, and felt his reiatsu settle slightly. He was panting with the pure effort of restraining it. Best he could do until his body toughened up and he got some training in, he thought. It was like when he'd first used his Bankai. His body hadn't been able to keep up with it until he'd conditioned it to.

He glanced around, brown eyes widening as he took in the destruction around him. He must have been on the top floor because _everything_ was now open to the sky. He was surrounded by rubble; no walls, ceiling, or roof to contain him. Particles and dust hovered in the air in great circles around the top floor of Central 46, with Ichigo standing at the dead center. He felt a soaring sense of freedom, something he hadn't felt in too long, standing here high above Soul Society. He also felt a vicious satisfaction that he'd decimated this room. As his new robes fluttered in the strong, biting breeze, he glanced down with a smile at his reformed sword.

It was different from the one he'd fought with twenty six months ago. It was longer and the width of it had grown. Ichigo raised it up with some difficulty, gazing along it's gleaming black length. The back of Zangetsu was no longer a straight line of steel, nor was the sharp edge a simple curve. Instead the back of the blade near the point formed a sharp peak that then sloped in to form the tip of the sword. The tip was longer as well and swept backwards in a graceful arc. This was matched by the two new points on either side of the flared base, which was much wider than it's previous design. The front spike at the bottom of the sword curved back towards the thick hilt, which was wrapped in deep red. A long black chain trailed from the base, more like Tensa Zangetsu than the white wrappings that had hung there before. The biggest difference was the cutouts in the blade shaped like crescent moons, starting near the hilt and decreasing in size as they ran halfway up the sword. It was a proud, strong sword, and Ichigo smiled.

 _A fine Zanpakuto, Old Man,_ he thought, and heard the almost silent agreement. He could feel Hichigo rolling his eyes and laughed briefly, speaking aloud this time to his hollow.

"Yeah, yeah, I'll need to build up some strength before I try Bankai or _your_ mask, Hichigo. Just be patient, if that's possible." He heard him curse and smirked.

With a sigh he lowered his sword. Well, he'd better go and face the people he was sure were waiting for him. He could feel their reiatsu now, down at the front of the building, lined up and waiting near the front steps of Central 46. Ichigo had no idea what he was going to say to them all, if anything. It wasn't like he wanted to go on a rampage, but he didn't want to stand there and listen to them either. Whether it be excuses or apologies, Ichigo wasn't ready to sit down and have a polite conversation. He just wanted to.. _be.._ as lame as that sounded. He'd been in the darkness so long. His eyes pricked, but he shook his head resolutely and walked towards the stairs.

He hadn't gained any strength, but his returned powers had erased the drained feeling he'd been plagued with and filled him with adrenaline and energy. He could walk out of here on his own two feet. As for anything else, he figured it'd be awhile. If he'd been here in his human body, he would have died from sitting in that room so long.

Ichigo froze as he began lifting his foot to begin his descent. His free hand raised and gripped his robes in front of his chest. Something felt.. off. He was about to shrug it off, since he'd gone through so much today it was probably natural that he felt weird, but then a sharp pain stabbed into him. He hunched over, gasping as the piercing sensation repeated itself. It wasn't a wound to his body.. so it was his soul? Why would it hurt like this if it was whole once more? _This_ felt like it had for all of those endless months: constant grinding pain that was the result of a damaged soul. But it felt even worse right now. The only time he hadn't been subjected to that agony was moments ago when his powers had flooded back through him.

Ichigo remembered the gaping black maw that stretched vertically down one edge of his inner world like a giant scar, shocking him when he had first returned. Zangetsu had said that it was most likely the representation of what they had sealed away. A bead of sweat ran down Ichigo's face as he breathed through the waves of discomfort. Finally it abated enough that he could stand straight once more.

"Hey, Zangetsu, what was that?"

 _As we suspected, they tore out a portion of your soul in order to seal you away, since they did not possess the tangible form of a Zanpakuto. Tearing a soul into pieces is a dangerous practice, it seems. I suspect that the process of a soul attempting to heal itself is what causes your pain. Here inside of you the emptiness is whole once more, but there is still one edge that has not sealed together. I do not know more than this, Ichigo._

Ichigo nodded thoughtfully. It seemed he had a lot more recovering to do than he'd previously believed. He would ask Urahara-san about it later. Although, he supposed, he was Captain Urahara now. He would always be hat and clogs to Ichigo, though.

The fabric of his new Shinigami robes still ruffled slightly on their own accord as he walked down the flights of stairs leading to the main floor. His reiatsu had surprised even him, and it still fluttered around his body in prickly discomfort, unable to be completely contained.

He glanced down at the strange new robes that had manifested. There was a red collar around his throat, and more red in the form of crosses over his chest, wrists and ankles. On closer inspection, they were actually made to look like.. chains. Ichigo grimaced. How was that for irony? At least it wasn't the same as the ones everyone else wore. Still, being chained in any way right now was grating to him.

He shook off his mood as he reached the front doors. Looks like all of the Central 46 employees had escaped outside, Ichigo thought derisively, as he scanned the deserted front hall.

Ichigo took a deep breath, mustering his strength. He didn't want to show weakness in front of anyone outside, despite how weak in body he actually was at the moment. He was sure he _looked_ pretty rough, with his ribs sticking out and his muscles reduced so heavily. But showing them that was another thing altogether. As he prepared to go forward he was stopped by Zangetsu's cautious voice.

 _Ichigo, I must warn you not to speak so casually with us in front of others._

His brow furrowed, but he obligingly spoke in his mind rather than aloud. _Why?_

 _It is not normal for Shinigami to be able to converse with their Zanpakuto without meditating and entering their subconscious first. Being able to speak with us at all times is unheard of. I can only speculate, but I am sure it has to do with the effect the sealing process had on your soul._

His hollow chimed in with his usual brashness. _Yeah, dummy, you ever been able to talk with us like this before? Maybe you did go crazy in that place if you can't even remember that._

Now that he thought about it, once in awhile he'd been able to hear them, but that was only when Ichigo was in danger of dying or when his hollow was trying to take over. He'd never constantly had them there in the back of his mind. He scratched his head, then shrugged. _Well, I'll keep it quiet. Don't need to give them any more reasons to lock me back up. Let's go get this over with._

Ichigo re-gripped Zangetsu in his right hand and he shoved the tall, heavy wooden doors open, striding out into the sunlight.

* * *

Something in his chest lightened as Ichigo scanned Soul Society from the stop of the steps. He was no longer entrapped in the walls behind him. He inhaled the warm, fragrant air, its breeze gentle now that he was on solid ground once more. It was spring time, judging by the scents of sunshine and flower blossoms. For some reason that made him want to cry. Instead, he straightened his shoulders belligerently and paced slowly down the steps, finally taking in the crowd of people below as he affixed a blank mask over his face. He ignored the brief spattering of murmurs that broke out as he approached.

All of the Captains and Lieutenants were there, along with the Captain-Commander. Off to the right, farther away, were the council members of Central 46. Some were staring with no emotion, while others glared heatedly or refused to meet his eyes altogether. The head judge, who he remembered from his "trial" as the leader of the group that wanted Ichigo sealed away, was standing just behind the Captain-Commander. The man gazed accusingly at him and Ichigo made sure to stare him down as he continued his descent, until the other man looked away.

Ichigo then turned his gaze to scan the lines of white and black figures bracketing each side of the walkway. When he reached the base, he started forward towards his goal of _getting the hell out of there_. Unfortunately he had to walk between the now silent lines of the elite Gotei 13 to do so. But if that was the price, then bring it on.

He couldn't figure out most of the emotions emanating from the Captains he passed, since they were adept at hiding their feelings, but Kyouraku and Ukitake looked unusually grim. Kenpachi was grinning maniacally as always, a light of challenge in his eyes. Probably from feeling Ichigo's spiritual pressure moments ago. To his surprise Kensei and Hirako were there bearing Captain uniforms. More Visored than Hiyori were here then, and they had been made Captains no less. _Good for them_ , he thought, as he exchanged glances with the two men. Hirako sent him a look of sympathy along with his signature sly smile as Ichigo moved onwards.

The Lieutenants were more easy to read where they stood slightly behind their superiors, but Ichigo's gaze went straight to Rukia and Renji. They looked as if they wanted to say something, but they were held back by protocol. He really couldn't deal with this, with _them_ , right now anyways. He felt too raw, like he was an open wound. He sent only a curt nod to his friends, ignoring the way their faces fell as he continued his steady course to where Gramps blocked the exit by standing in the middle of the pathway. Ichigo paused a few feet away and waited for him to speak, feeling increasingly anxious to get out of there. It didn't help that Hichigo was yelling at him to attack them all, to wreak vengeance upon them. He kindly told his other half to shut the fuck up.

Finally the Captain-Commander cracked open an eye and his grumbling voice rang throughout the courtyard.

"Kurosaki Ichigo. We of the Gotei 13 offer our apologies. There is nothing we can say to make up for such an injustice to the man who helped to save us all."

Ichigo stared at him in silence, unable to reply. What did they want him to say? He forgave them? He hadn't even been out of the place for thirty minutes yet! Instead he asked a question that had been bothering him. He ignored the winces on a few faces around him at the sound of his crackling, mistreated voice.

"What happens now?" His voice was quiet and seemed unnatural to him. He was more messed up than he'd thought if _talking_ made him feel this deeply unsettled.

As the old man was about to reply, he was interrupted by the leader of Central 46 behind him who began to rant angrily. "What happens is that we will hold a trial to reinstate your sealing, Kurosaki Ichigo! You're a monster.. if you're this powerful right after being unsealed, then there is no doubt that we were right to keep you confined!"

Shocked and outraged whispers could be heard from around him, but Ichigo tuned everyone out. He had had enough. He was tired, in pain, and weary right down to the center of his soul. And he was absolutely furious, which made him do something uncharacteristic of the old Ichigo. He snapped.

His face darkened dangerously, going cold and hard while his eyes fired with fury. He glared down at the man who had thrown him in prison, resulting in twenty six hellish months and the death of his human body and his future plans. His tenuous control over his fluctuating reiatsu slipped completely and it slammed down on everyone around him like a hammer. He saw a handful of Lieutenants drop to one knee from the corner of his eye, and even a few Captains wavered slightly. The council members of Central 46 stood no chance, dropping to their knees under the pressure.

The sound of his energy seemed to roar deafeningly around them and even the Captain-Commander's eyes widened imperceptibly. The force of his anger coloured his reiatsu so that it was even more powerful than when Zangetsu had reformed. The leader crashed down on one knee struggling not to keel over, face going damp with perspiration, eyes wide in his pale face.

Ichigo raised Zangetsu to point at the man, the chain clinking with the movement.

"You try to put me back in that hole. I _will_ bring Central 46 to the ground before I ever set foot in it again." His voice was low and scathing, and he finally got to speak a few of the words he'd been denied during his trial. "All I've ever done has been to _help_ Soul Society. Maybe I'm not under your thumb, but I've never let this place down before. I would never hurt the friends I've made here. But if you try to do this again, bastard, I will fight it no matter what."

Ichigo was panting in strain, and Zangetsu's warnings rang through his mind even while Hichigo howled his approval. However, he was too weak for this right now and the pain was increasing. He worked to reel in the power once more, the atmosphere lightening with every beat of his heart. Finally it was back to its former barely controlled state. Ichigo swayed, slamming his blade into the earth to keep himself upright. Sweat ran down his face as he gripped his sword. He was _so_ done with this shit.

"I'm out of here. I'll send a message in a few days if you want to meet then, but I don't want to see any _Shinigami_ for a few days." He grated roughly. He gathered his strength one last time, pulling Zangetsu from the stone and affixing him to his back with a faint _clank_ as he strode out of the front gate leaving everything behind for the moment. He ignored the brief protests to his departure and just kept striding away.

Ichigo was sure anyone could find him using his reiatsu, but he hoped they would give him a few days peace. He walked endlessly, too wiped out to use Shunpo, but too stubborn to stop while he was still in the main city. He kept going blindly: out of the last village, out into the forest, beyond. Finally he reached a stand of boulders situated at the edge of a steep cliff. He lowered Zangetsu to lean on the stone next to him as he flopped onto his back with his arms flung out to the sides.

First he just breathed steadily until his muscles relaxed one by one. Then he opened exhausted eyes, unable to close them once he caught a glimpse of the sight above him. So many stars. Night had fallen during his escape.

He'd missed the stars the most, out of any sight in this world or the next. He used to sit with his mom and stare up at them for hours, looking for the ones that streaked across the sky. His mother would point out constellations to him in her warm voice. He didn't recognize any constellations here in Soul Society. Just a dizzying array of bright pinpricks.

He wondered what had happened to his dad, to Karin and Yuzu. And his friends, who he'd left in such a bad way when he'd gone off to war. If his body was gone in the real world, then they would have been told he'd died somehow, right? They'd had so long to mourn him already, there was no way he could pop in now. With his dad it was different since he was a former Shinigami and knew everything about the Winter War and Ichigo's hidden lifestyle. But his dad would stay in the human world until he died, and Ichigo was stuck here until _he_ died _._

What he would do now? Join the Academy or a squad? They must believe that he's dangerous and unstable after spending so much time in that place. Maybe he was, he thought, wincing at the memory of threatening the leader of the council. There was no way they'd leave him alone after that. It wasn't like the man hadn't deserved it, and Ichigo had been threatened less than an hour after getting released. But Ichigo also knew something about the unfairness of Soul Society's laws and customs.

He sighed deeply and closed his eyes, just listening to the ambient sounds around him. At some point he fell asleep, fingers curled around the hilt of his sword.

When Ichigo awoke it was to a grumbling stomach and a throat so parched he was sure his voice would sound worse than yesterday. He'd forgotten what real hunger felt like as a soul. It was a hell of a walk back to the nearest district so he'd better get going. He groaned as he slowly pushed himself to a sitting position.

Ichigo shaded his eyes from the mid-morning sun with the long fingers of his left hand, the other reaching upwards as he stretched. He put his sword onto his back, and strolled back the way he'd come. He would get some food and water, then come back out for a few days. He needed to get his strength up and work at dampening his spiritual pressure a bit before he felt ready to face the Gotei 13 again. He also needed to give his soul time to heal.

Several hours later, Ichigo was finally back at his cluster of boulders, a sack over one shoulder. He'd spent an hour helping out a poor shop keeper in exchange for provisions. It wasn't like he'd had any money, fresh out of prison and all. The man had been leery of Ichigo's appearance at first but had grudgingly accepted the younger man's help. He was grateful, because he wouldn't have felt right stealing anything. He hadn't blamed the old man for being nervous. Ichigo had caught a glimpse of himself in a dingy glass window and had recoiled at the sight. His bright orange hair had grown longer, brushing over the collar of his robes and falling into his eyes. His face was gaunt, thin and pale from his enforced stay indoors. Brown eyes dull and heavily shadowed with strain. Just one more thing he didn't recognize about himself.

He propped the burlap bag against the rough stone and grasped the familiar hilt over his shoulder, bringing his sword forward. Shinigami usually recovered quickly from wounds and exhaustion, but over two years of neglect and his body needed more time to heal than normal. So he'd do some light training today to begin getting back into shape. Zangetsu practically vibrated in anticipation and in the back of his mind he felt Hichigo prowling around restlessly.

It was more difficult than Ichigo had expected. His muscles remembered the movements, the swings and blocks and stances: but they had none of his usual power behind them, muscles trembling just from the weight of his Zanpakuto. Ichigo just clenched his teeth and continued well into the afternoon until he had to sit or risk passing out. He gasped in air, chest heaving, as sweat ran down his face. Damn, this sucked.

 _King, I want a turn. I've been bored for so fucking long, I feel as old as Zangetsu looks!_

Ichigo huffed, not really surprised. "Shut up, idiot. If I'm this wiped from basic training I can't handle using hollow powers in this shape." He ignored Hichigo's snort of disdain and continued his train of thought. "Besides, I should learn more about healing my soul before I try usin' any real power. Who knows what will happen." He sighed, and pushed up to his feet, knees threatening to buckle on him.

 _That is right. I'm glad that your incarceration has at least cooled your tendencies to rush headlong into danger, Ichigo._

He gave a halfhearted snort himself, and began crossing the field towards a small river he'd spotted nearby. He got two steps before pain exploded throughout his body, running in waves from his chest outwards.

Ichigo cried out as he crashed to his knees, clutching his chest. He planted a trembling hand in the grass to keep from falling on his face and tried to breathe through the agony. A cough clawed it's way up his throat and he covered his mouth as it was ripped out of him. He felt something splash onto his hand as he fell onto his side. He thought maybe he heard his name being yelled but the pain speared through him once more and he thankfully passed out.


	3. Preparation

Chapter 3! Posting this after a week long visit with my family.. so finally have access to my far superior computer again! Not especially happy with this chapter, so I hope it's alright.

Thanks for sticking with me if you're still here. ^^

Reviews are always appreciated!

* * *

The following two days were a blur of sleeping, training and replenishing his body.

After his 'episode', for lack of a better term, he'd given himself that time to recover. As a result Ichigo felt more like himself - at least physically. He was still far from peak form and his reiatsu was all over the place, but his muscles had ceased their constant quivering so that was something. Time and dedication would hone his muscles and increase his stamina back to full. Soon he would he jump back into Zanjutsu training; he still had to try out his Bankai and see what the deal was with his hollowfication powers now that Hichigo and himself were finally on the same page.

This was all provided he figured out how to solve the problems with his soul.

That day he'd awoken to the sun sinking past the trees. He'd half-listened to Zangetsu and Hichigo speaking urgently to him, too dazed to reply. And he'd seen the crimson splattering the palm of his right hand. He had managed to stumble to the river, taking a few large mouthfuls of clear, cool water, before slumping over in exhausted sleep. He'd felt much better the next day despite the burning pain that lingered. Even now, two days later, there was only a dull discomfort under his breastbone that was almost familiar after the two years he'd spent sealed away in constant grinding agony.

Zangetsu had theorized that even using his Zanpakuto right now while he was weak in body and his spirit injured, was enough to stir up his reiatsu and cause an adverse reaction with the tearing deep within him. Basically, he wasn't allowed to do anything involving his spiritual energy until either he healed on his own or was given whatever treatment he needed. Which meant that his exercise for the last few days had been strictly strength and endurance training. He'd managed to avoid another full-blown attack though, so it seemed that this plan was working for now.

Ichigo was _much_ less impressed with how he was dealing in other ways. The third night of Ichigo's stay in the woods had been pitch black, with no moonlight to lighten up the inky darkness. He had panicked when he hadn't been able to see anything. He'd been right back in that chair, blind and bound and left for dead. The calming sounds of the forest hadn't helped because that room hadn't always been silent. The screams or curses from other cells, those of the mad and anguished, had risen up periodically. Even Zangetsu and Hichigo hadn't been able to pull him out - he'd sat there frozen until the light of dawn had washed over him. He was _pathetic_. Ichigo should have known he hadn't escaped unscathed from the psychological tortures of that place.. but he'd just been so caught up in what was happening to him physically that he hadn't really considered it. He was considering it now, damn it.

He hadn't been able to sleep properly since the first two nights, when he'd been so exhausted that his body had forced him to get rest. Now he only catnapped in the glaring sun for a few hours at a time, one ear open for any danger or odd sound. And his nightmares meant that he didn't get a whole lot of rest then either. He didn't sleep at all during the late hours of the night, unable to relax in the dark. He'd even had to go to town to buy a lantern to light while he trained in the darkness instead of sleeping. It was like he was a little kid again with a nightlight. It was embarrassing as hell.

It was on the morning of the fifth day after his release from prison that he decided that it was time to face the real world again. While he was feeling rather vulnerable right now, he wasn't a coward. Besides, they'd probably come looking for him soon so he'd like to avoid _that_ fiasco. He gathered any leftover supplies in his burlap sack, affixing his Zanpakuto to his back with a comforting _clink_. Then Ichigo straightened up with a sigh and began his hike through the now-familiar woods.

 _Finally, somethin' other than watchin' you run around all day. Can we teach them a lesson now, King?_

Ichigo just shook his head. He opened his mouth to reply, then thought better of it. He'd have to get used to talking to them only in his head from now on. _Even if I wanted to, we would die with the shape we're in. Plus we need them to get Central 46 off our back. I think you're forgetting that this is the place where we live now, idiot. We can't go making everyone in this place our enemy._

Hichigo grumbled then fell silent - retreating to sulk until the meeting, Ichigo was sure. Zangetsu had been quiet the last few days. Maybe he was worried about everything too? Zangetsu had always been pretty protective. He wondered if all Zanpakuto spirits were like that.

Ichigo ventured back to the same outlying district as before to send his message to Gramps, which he kept blunt and to the point, and to drop off his surplus of provisions to the old man who'd let him work for them. Then he began his trek back into the heart of Soul Society to deal with his future.

He took his time and actually drank in the sights of Soul Society for once. He'd visited a fair amount, but usually only to a short list of places, so he'd never really taken the time to look at the place. When he'd first invaded to rescue Rukia he had sprinted through these streets in a mad dash, only looking towards where he needed to go. That was the story of his life, wasn't it? Always looking ahead to one mad goal after another, rarely pausing to enjoy the present. Even now he was still focused solely on getting back to his old self. He figured he may as well ensure that his body was ready for whatever came at him since he didn't have much control over anything else. He'd never had the time or inclination to think of this odd world as his home before. Even now he still couldn't wrap his mind around it. There were so many different things swirling through his thoughts that he didn't really know _what_ to think about.

Ichigo's sandals were silent on the polished stones that paved the streets as he considered that. He pointedly ignored the wide-eyed stares he was receiving from the rare Shinigami he passed, and realized that there was one thing that he could safely think about. He really wanted to catch up with his friends.

Ichigo was looking forward to seeing a lot of people here, particularly Rukia and Renji, now that he'd had some time to himself. He knew that they hadn't had anything to do with what had happened to him. While he didn't have faith in much that pertained to Soul Society, he believed in his friends. And if he was allowed to visit the human world - Ichigo fully intended to ask after the meeting - then he would track down Ishida, Chad and Inoue after he saw his Dad and made sure Karin and Yuzu were alright. He had a lot of catching up to do with them as well. It was kind of bittersweet to think about how they'd all moved on with their lives by now, while Ichigo was stuck in the past.

He'd also like to see Hirako to ask about the Visoreds. He was going to make sure the blonde man was around the first time he attempted to call out his mask, that was for sure. On that note, he'd also ask Rukia if she'd teach him some Kido, and maybe Urahara had some tips on controlling his reiatsu. Renji and Ikkaku made great sparring partners so he could get back into shape quick with them. Ichigo was most definitely avoiding Kenpachi for that task. Unfortunately, he doubted Yourichi-san was here to teach him Shunpo techniques and he refused to ask Byakuya to help him. Ichigo shuddered at the very thought. He'd have to table that for later.

As he strolled along, he passed the time by planning out what he wanted to learn and improve on - until he realized what he was doing. Ichigo stopped in shock, startling a nearby shopkeeper. What the hell _was_ he doing? He was getting his hopes up, that was what; planning for a future he may not have. Central 46 was the ruling force behind Soul Society and they wanted him sealed away for eternity. If he walked into that room in the First Division and they told him that his life was over - again - then this would just make it worse.

He slowly began to walk once more as he berated himself for being an idiot. He would just have to wait until after this meeting and go from there, that was all. It wasn't like he was any good at strategy or planning ahead anyways. He'd always taken things as they'd come. This time was no different. He forced his mind away from those worries with a long drawn-out breath and made himself study his surroundings instead.

Now that he thought about it, it was kind of beautiful here. The colours were kind of bland, a lot of white and blue in the inner city, but it was peaceful. Shinigami either strolled along, laughing with friends, or hurried about on one task or another. It wasn't like Soul Society was a bad place, despite it being entrenched with battle and death. That was actually perfectly fine with Ichigo. His problem was that he hadn't _chosen_ this life. Aizen had apparently guided him along to where he wanted him until his defeat and now his path was uncertain once more because of other interfering Shinigami.

Ichigo clenched his fist in the same helpless anger that always swamped him when he inevitably thought of this stuff. He _knew_ he was being selfish. After all, everyone here had died, right? Maybe they hadn't been imprisoned and forced to die, like Ichigo, but still. There were worse places to end up than this, and he had a chance to live in a familiar place where his friends were. He wasn't going to get past the stuff that had happened to him if he kept being so negative.

He sighed deeply and told his brain to shut up as he picked up his pace. Thinking wasn't getting him anywhere today. It looked like there weren't _any_ safe thoughts until he got this damn meeting over with. His melancholy musings were just making him annoyed with himself. But he could see the First Division headquarters in the distance so he just focused on reaching that.

A hell butterfly drifted towards him and he automatically lifted a long finger to catch it. _So the meeting was in thirty minutes, huh? He was actually on time then_. He heard his name echoing towards him from the left and when he turned his head he saw Renji jogging towards him. He raised a hand in greeting and the bright-haired man fell into step beside him.

"Finally showed your ugly face in public again, Ichigo? I would have hidden too, with hair like that." He mocked in his exotic-sounding voice.

Ichigo met the measuring gaze of his friend and smiled slightly in response. He _had_ changed his hair and it was probably more noticeable than before, when just the color called attention to it. Ichigo had began tying it back with a leather thong during his stay in the woods, though it was only long enough for a stubby tail of spiky orange, and pushing his bangs back and to the side. It had been too troublesome during training since it'd gotten pretty long the last few years. But Renji had no right to make fun of him while sporting that crazy hair of his. Hell, with all the weird hairstyles in Soul Society Ichigo probably fit in _better_ now.

Speaking of changes, Renji had also altered a bit in the time Ichigo had been gone. He was sure everyone had, he just hadn't paid attention to it last time. Ichigo studied his friend briefly and had to hide a smirk. Instead of a white bandana, he bore a deep purple one that clashed spectacularly with his crimson hair, though it did match the arm bands he wore. His hair had grown out as well. Still, he was so familiar, with his spiky black tattoos and narrow eyes, it actually pained him for reasons that Ichigo couldn't determine.

Maybe the discordant colours were what hurt after seeing nothing but blackness or his inner world for so long.

"Yo, Renji. Not just Captains at this meeting then?" His voice was wry, but the tone was still off a bit. The other man didn't seem to notice, so Ichigo inwardly shrugged. There were more important things to worry about without him nitpicking himself to death.

Renji had his usual sharp grin on his angular face. "Lieutenants are invited. I think Captain-Commander Yamamoto just didn't wanna to deal with all the protests. Everyone wants to know more about.. well.. everything." He finished lamely, cheeks turning red.

Ichigo rolled his eyes. He understood why others would feel the need to dance around the subject, especially after last time, but seeing as he'd probably have to recount a bunch of stuff in front of a lot of people soon, he really didn't see the point. He rubbed a hand over his face as he spoke bluntly. "It's alright to ask, you know. You're gonna hear it all soon anyways, along with everyone else." He tried not to sound bitter, but he couldn't really help it.

Renji shot him a sharp glance. "I'm not gonna ask, idiot. Anyone can see you don't wanna talk about it more than you have to. I'll wait and hear it with everyone else." He paused as if debating whether or not to go on. "You alright, though? You look like shit, but at least you don't seem like you're gonna keel over anymore. Rukia has been worried sick, but I told her to give ya space."

Ichigo nodded in gratitude. "Thanks. It was just.. too much that day. I want to see her, though. Maybe after this meeting... depending on how it goes." He could feel his face tighten with mounting tension.

He was even more grateful when Renji didn't push the fact that Ichigo had never answered his question. Instead he rested his hand on the hilt of Zabimaru casually as he spoke. "There have been a lot of closed door meetings between the Captains and Central 46. No one knows what the final verdict will be. Are you worried?"

Ichigo scratched at the side of his face. "Well, yeah. I have no idea what will happen. I guess Gramps will try to fight them, but they're the law, right? I could be executed or put back _there._ " His voice hardened. "I meant what I said, though, and they'll have to kill me before they trap me again." Both Zangetsu and Hichigo stirred in readiness within him at the flare of his reiatsu.

The other man's narrow eyes widened at the pulse of spiritual pressure. He raised his hands in a peace-keeping manner as he stopped walking to face him. "Hey, calm down Ichigo! I don't think it's gonna go that way at all. Everyone is really pissed off that they did that to you. If Captain Urahara hadn't been digging into Central 46 and found documents that had your name on them, I don't know when we would have known.. but as soon as he brought them forward there was an uproar. I've never seen Captain Urahara or Captain-Commander Yamamoto so angry. You were released less than two hours after that." His eyes were earnest and Ichigo relaxed slightly. "We all looked for you as soon as we realized you were missing. None of us believed you were dead, ya know. It was only a matter of time til we found you."

"Sorry," he muttered, his cheeks now reddening slightly. "I do know that. My head's just kind of fucked up right now." He took a deep breath, rubbing at the sharp ache in his chest. "It's just.. I won't go back there, Renji. I _can't._ It almost makes me feel bad for Aizen, sealed away in there forever." Ichigo shook his head at Renji's slightly alarmed look. "Don't worry, I know he deserves everything he's getting. Still.."

Ichigo looked up at the glaring sun high above him. He'd missed the quiet warmth on his skin. He took another deep, calming breath, then resumed walking forwards. "I never really believed any of you had anything to do with what happened. It's just hard to trust every single person here since _someone_ had to have known what Central 46 was up to. But I had faith that my friends wouldn't betray me like that. So don't worry."

Renji snorted. "Tell that to Rukia, will ya. I can't wait til she turns all her focus on to you." Ichigo winced slightly at the thought. When Rukia got worked up, he tended to get injured. "Anyways, even if they did rule to put you away again, we wouldn't let it happen." He grinned fiercely, looking ready for battle as his hair gleamed wildly under the bright sky. "We've got your back like always."

Ichigo felt a real smile cross his lips for what felt like the first time in forever. It was only a little stiff this time. "Yeah. Thanks, Renji. I can't wait to get this over with and get back to normal."

Renji clapped him on the shoulder, pushing him forwards, before clearing his throat. "Ya know, Ichigo, we could tell with one look that you're not yourself. Thing is, no one expects you to be okay after all of this. It'll take awhile to get back on your feet. But we're all here to help, so _use_ us." Then he lightened the mood with a sharp laugh. "But, it'll take even longer if you mope around, Strawberry-head!" He smirked widely in Ichigo's direction and got shoved as a result.

"Shut the hell up, Pineapple-head. Let's go." Ignoring Renji's indignant squawk beside him, he picked up his pace. But Ichigo did feel better, like he'd found his center. He was as ready as he'd ever be, he realized, as they entered the imposing building before them.

* * *

It was better this time, standing in front of such a big audience. He was positioned a few feet in front of the door, while the most powerful Shinigami in Soul Society lined both sides of the chamber and the Captain-Commander stood firmly in his place at the other end, opposite Ichigo. He sent a fleeting smile to Rukia, who instantly looked relieved. He let Renji's encouraging grin bolster him, as well as the nods he received from Urahara, Kensei and Hirako. No one was glaring at him, or looking thoroughly depressed, so that was good. He was relieved to see that no one from Central 46 was present.

On the other hand, it was also worse because there was a horrible sense of anticipation permeating the room. He could feel his muscles tighten in readiness, though he wasn't sure what exactly he was expecting to happen. The others were just waiting to hear his story, although they probably knew a fair amount of it. But _Ichigo_ was waiting to hear his fate, as melodramatic as that sounded. Well, he probably wasn't going to hear a definite answer today anyways. He forced himself to loosen up a bit. He heard Hichigo complaining sullenly about the situation, deigning to make a reappearance now that something interesting was happening, and he inwardly sighed.

His hollow had mellowed out, but he wouldn't ever change.

He was pulled from his thoughts as the Captain-Commander stepped forwards, hands braced on his ancient-looking cane. Ichigo knew his Zanpakuto was concealed within it. Gramps was a scary guy even without his sword displayed for everyone to see.

"Now then, let's begin." He opened one eye to spear Ichigo with his intimidating gaze. "Kurosaki Ichigo, you have been called here so that we may know the events surrounding your disappearance twenty six months ago." Perhaps he sensed Ichigo's reluctance because he elaborated. "These are unusual circumstances, but we need to hear your side. It is necessary in dealing with the members of Central 46."

The room fell into a dead silence and he could feel the stares of too many people boring into him. He instead fixed his gaze somewhere above Gramps' head and began to speak after a short pause. Zangetsu was a comforting presence in his mind which helped him keep a clear head. He was determined not to ramble on, as he was prone to doing sometimes, and reveal more than he really wanted to.

"Well, I don't remember much after Aizen. I must have passed out after he was sealed away. I only have flashes of Unohana-san healing me. I think I was in the Fourth Division barracks." He glanced briefly at the Captain in question and saw her nod in confirmation. "Anyways, the next time I was really conscious, I was sitting in a chair being hit with a few Kido spells. I think they forced me awake, and other ones bound me to the chair and kept me from speaking." He heard a few murmurs at this. "I don't know what exactly they did, since I don't know any Kido myself. I was pretty out of it still."

"Then they did their _trial_." He spoke derisively. "And sentenced me to be sealed for one year, until they reconvened. Which I assume they never did since I didn't leave that room for over two years." He lowered his gaze to meet the Captain-Commanders', who now had both eyes opened.

After a moment, the old man spoke. "And what were their justifications during this trial?"

Ichigo rubbed the back of his head, face scrunching up as he shifted uncomfortably. "It all sounded pretty reasonable, if you take away the fact that I was on your side for the whole war. Basically, I was supposed to have lost my powers, and since I didn't I was dangerous to Soul Society. They were weakened and had no Captain-Commander at the time, so they were worried I would decide to take over Soul Society while I had the opportunity." He started to tick each reason off on his fingers as he continued. "Then there was the whole hollow thing, the fact that I'd invaded before to save Rukia, that I had grown powerful enough to weaken Aizen, and, finally, that they had no direct control over me. Then they sealed me and put me away."

He dropped his hands and they curled into fists as his anger surged. Just thinking about it made all of those awful feelings return. Ichigo ground his teeth, jaw clenched tight, until he forcefully calmed down. He refused to have another episode here of all places. Everyone was staring at him soberly and he could see that several eyes also glimmered with suppressed anger. Hirako and the other Visored were the most disturbed - for good reason. This had to bring up a lot of old pain despite their presence here now.

"And why didn't you lose your Shinigami powers, as everyone believed you would?"

The Captain-Commander's question slammed into the room which was now so silent you could hear a pin drop. Ichigo didn't bother to look around to see if any of the stares were suspicious or accusatory. He just dropped his gaze to the old man and shrugged.

"I thought I was going to lose them too. Zangetsu promised me I would. There's no good reason why I'm still a Shinigami, though Zangetsu thinks it has something to do with the sealing they did." He inwardly relaxed at the nod he got. He wasn't lying, exactly. That was all true. He just knew a little _more_ than he was telling them.

Urahara spoke up on Ichigo's left, from where he was stationed in the Fifth Division's designated place. "Kurosaki-san, you mentioned that when they sealed you, they didn't have your Zanpakuto to do it properly. I believe your exact words were 'they just sealed whatever they could reach'. What exactly does that mean? What did they do?" His eyes were serious.

Ichigo unconsciously raised a hand to rub at the lingering pain in his chest as he tried to recall those blurry moments. "They were talking amongst themselves but I overheard some of it. The seal they were originally going to use - I guess it's the proper seal for this sort of thing - uses a Shinigami's Zanpakuto. They use its physical form as a conduit to draw out all of a Shinigami's powers and then seal it away separately from their body. But they didn't have my sword so they were trying to figure out how to alter the seal to use something _else_ as a conduit." He took a deep breath and met Urahara's eyes again. He could see that Urahara had some idea of what he would say next.

"Zangetsu said that they used a portion my soul instead of my sword. He said that they figured out how to draw out enough of my soul that they could seal that first into an object, tearing it away from the rest of my soul, and then use that to draw out the rest of my powers." He kept speaking over the shocked gasps and whispers, determined to get this out. He really wished he didn't have to say this with so many ears listening. It would be all over Soul Society in a matter of hours. "They miscalculated, as you can see, because they didn't actually draw out all of my Shinigami powers. They sealed away what amounted to a third of my soul and a lot of my reiatsu. That ended up being all of the reiatsu that always leaks out of me, and about half of whatever I had left after the battle with Aizen. I hadn't replenished much of it yet, but they ended up with a fair amount. But they didn't really seal me properly, only enough to be satisfied that I would stay powerless."

The next pause wasn't filled with silence, but instead murmurs drifted around the room until the old man pounded his cane once onto the wooden flooring. His favorite way to make a statement, Ichigo mused. It did work well though.

Unohana-san spoke next, her voice uncharacteristically harsh in angry disapproval. "Sealing only part of a soul like that is forbidden. They had no right to do so. We're still not sure of the consequences of doing such a thing because a soul is not meant to be ripped apart." She was speaking to Gramps, who was nodding somberly. Then she faced Ichigo. "After the meeting you will come to the Fourth Division barracks so that I may do a full physical evaluation. I will research this phenomenon, along with the help of Captain Urahara and the Research department. We will see if there is anything we can do to fix it, or at the very least to speed up the healing process. Perhaps your friend may be of help."

Ichigo knew she spoke of Inoue and nodded. He really had no choice but to gratefully accept even though he really didn't want such attention. He wasn't going to refuse the Captain anything for one simple reason: she was the scariest one in this meeting. "Thank you, Unohana-san." She smiled her usual sweet smile at him, although her eyes remained grave.

The Captain-Commander's gravelly tones filled the room with a tone of finality.

"Your testimony will help us to undermine the absolute authority Central 46 believes they have in this matter. The fact that they used such a seal is enough to take action. We will speak to the council members tomorrow about what we have learned here and discuss consequences for what they have done. Kurosaki Ichigo, you are free to go until a final verdict has been reached, at which time we will reconvene. You are to report to the Fourth Division with Captain Urahara immediately, and he will brief you on the limitations we have decided to put on you until the time that the issues with Central 46 have been resolved."

Ichigo hurriedly spoke up before the meeting was called to a halt, deciding to ignore that last bit until he could talk to Urahara about it himself. "Uh, Gramps? I'd like to visit my family. At the very least my Dad, since I don't know what my sisters have been told about all of this."

The Captain-Commander tapped his fingers on his cane as he stared at Ichigo. "I understand, but to return to the human world is to be vulnerable. It will also cause even more tension with Central 46 at this time. So I cannot grant your request."

Ichigo ran a hand over his hair in exasperation. It wasn't like he was really surprised though. "I get it. Anyway it's not like I don't live a lot longer as a Shinigami, right? All the time in the world." He gave a halfhearted snort of resigned humor.

The Captain-Commander hummed, before speaking once more. "However, I will permit your father to travel here for three hours tomorrow afternoon." He held up one hand when Ichigo jerked his head up to stare at him. "You will be accompanied with the Captain of your choice, and must stay within the main gates. But we will send an invitation to him after this meeting. This is the best that I can do."

Ichigo waved a hand, heart thumping in pure relief. "No, no, that's more than I expected. Thanks a lot."

The old man nodded once, then tapped his cane on the wooden floor with a resounding _clack_. "That is all. You are dismissed, Kurosaki Ichigo."

Ichigo immediately left the oppressive room, glad that they all hadn't been released at the same time. He looked around from the high walkway he was on. Where exactly _were_ the Fourth barracks? This place needed a goddamned map. He was about to ask Zangetsu when a finger tapped his shoulder.

He spun around to see Urahara looming behind him, face shadowed by his signature hat and fan. Ichigo was sure he had a mocking smile on his face.

"Where are you going, Kurosaki-san? The Fourth Division is this way." He waved in the opposite direction with his fan, and sure enough his lips were upturned in amusement.

He rolled his eyes and fell into step with the other man. The sound of his clogs on the white marble was oddly comforting.

"Oi, Urahara-san. Could you come with me tomorrow to see Dad?" He scratched his head at Urahara's shocked look and spoke in annoyance. "You had to know I was going to ask you."

Urahara chuckled. "Despite your belief that I know everything before it happens, Kurosaki-san, that is not always the case." Ichigo was about to grumble a response, but the jovial man continued. "I will, however, accompany you. Though may I ask why, exactly?"

 _Oi, King, that's what I want to know. Should you be trustin' this guy? Never tells you anythin' before it's too late, uses you to clean up his messes.. Too much trouble, don't ya think?_

 _I think it is a wise choice, Ichigo._

Ichigo sighed. He kinda missed when he didn't constantly hear his spirits all the time. When a throat cleared beside him he jerked his head around. Urahara's eyes were sharply focused on him, so he began to talk to distract him. This was something he _was not_ going to share. Especially with the guy who had access to the Research department once again. Fixing his soul? Necessary. Telling people he could talk to his Zanpakuto and hollow whenever he wanted? Definitely _un_ necessary.

"Dad trusts you the most out of anyone here, and he can fill you in on Tessai and those brats at your shop. He probably knows about the Visored, too, so you can fill in Hirako." Ichigo shrugged. "You're also helping me with this whole soul thing, so isn't it better to keep you in the loop about everything?"

Urahara was waving his fan gently in thought. "I suppose so. Very practical of you Kurosaki-san. I rather thought you might hold some grudges against me after the last few years."

Ichigo groaned. "Listen, I don't really hold grudges. When you used me to deal with the Hougyoku, back when Rukia was gonna be executed, you apologized afterward which tells me all I need to know." Ichigo was ignoring the wide eyes staring at him and decided to get it all out there. "I might not ever know what you're thinking or planning, and you keep more secrets than anyone I ever met, but you've never betrayed me. Plus I don't _need_ to know all the stuff in your head anyway. What I _do_ know is that you try your best to help everyone out when you can. Then there's the fact that you actually found me and got me released.. so it's all fine, isn't it?" They locked eyes once more, and there was an almost genuine smile on the other mans face.

Then his voice rose teasingly, ruining the moment like always. "My my, Kurosaki-san, I think that's the most I've ever heard you speak at one time! You must be thirsty after such a monologue!"

He gritted his teeth and stomped away. So annoying. He could hear Hichigo mocking him as well.

Urahara easily kept pace with him. "Oh, yes! You probably want to hear all about those 'limitations' the Captain-Commander was talking about?"

Ichigo huffed, irritated to have forgotten something like that. But he pretty much knew what it would be about. "Let me guess. I'm not allowed to go beyond the main gates, and he's setting me up with some kind of chaperone for my 'protection'."

Urahara chuckled. "Ding ding! Almost perfectly correct: I'm impressed Kurosaki-san! You can choose a Captain to follow, though I'm guessing it will be me? I'll do my best to keep a proper eye on you." He ignored the curses Ichigo was mumbling. "There are two more very important things, however."

He stopped suddenly, spinning towards Ichigo and pointing his now-closed fan at his chest. Ichigo's brown eyes widened at the change in tone, halting to face the blonde man.

"First, you may not use or train with your Zanpakuto. It will be seen as an act of aggression. And second, you may not go near Central 46 headquarters, nor any of its members."

"Seriously?" Ichigo passed a hand over his face. Damn he was tired; he'd usually be catching one of his catnaps by now. "Is that all?"

Urahara blinked at him. "Well.. yes?"

"You can relax. I'm not gonna go and start a riot, and I can't use my Zanpakuto anyways." Ichigo resumed walking, shaking his head. It wasn't like any of those things were an issue for him. He hadn't known he was one of the only cases of a soul being torn and sealed, so he was mainly worried about that right now. After seeing so many powerful people on his side, he felt slightly better about the rest of it.

He became aware of the heavy silence from beside him. The other man was staring at him with eyes that seemed to be trying to read all of his secrets. Ichigo thought over what he'd said and nearly groaned aloud. _Damn it, what do I say now? I guess it's not a big deal._

 _They would have to know eventually, Ichigo, since using reiatsu exacerbates your condition. This is fine._

Ichigo blew out a breath. He took back what he said about not wanting to hear his spirits all the time. At least for Zangetsu.

"Listen, whenever I use my Zanpakuto or stir up my reiatsu in any way, it's bad. It's all just part of this soul thing, which we're going to get fixed anyway."

Urahara hummed, obviously not placated. But there was a look of worry in his eyes now as well. "I see. This is a problem, isn't it."

Ichigo nodded. Then he had a sudden terrifying thought, and stopped dead in his tracks. "Wait, wait!"

Urahara paused in question. If Ichigo could see his eyebrows he was sure they'd be raised.

"If I pick you to be my chaperone, that means Hiyori comes with you doesn't it?" Ichigo was aghast.

The other man continued on, laughing uproariously. ""It certainly does." Then he slid a sly smirk Ichigo's way. "But if I were you, I would really worry about the fuss your father is going to make when he sees your hair!"


	4. Dilemma

Chapter 4.. I think we're about half-way through this story right now! Now that I'm back at home I'll crank through this, so enjoy guys!

Also thank you all for the very kind reviews, they've made me smile more than once these last few days! And of course, I really appreciate all the follows and favourites, and anyone who is just reading this! You're all awesome!

* * *

"Well, as of right now there doesn't seem to be anything physically wrong with you. Nothing that I can heal by normal means anyways." Unohana-san gave him a concerned look, before turning her matter-of-fact gaze onto the scientist in their midst. "Captain Urahara, in all of your research on souls, has anything like this come up?"

The blonde haired man rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "Well, I did certainly research all available information on souls in the past, but unless there was some mad scientist in the history of Soul Society that experimented with breaking the soul itself, I doubt there would be anything in the libraries. I didn't manage to find anything. But I was interested in other aspects of the soul in the past. However.. I do not believe we'll find our answers there."

Ichigo scratched his head. He'd known it was a long-shot that someone would miraculously know how to heal him. "Would it help to know the sealing rite that they altered, and how exactly they changed it?"

Unohana nodded shortly, but her face was grim. "It may help. There are usually counter-seals for any seal that is used by Central 46, but they are basically just dispelling the imprisonment seals that have already been cast. Even if we did work out a counter for the altered seal, I doubt it would do anything to heal you."

"Added to that, we don't know exactly _what_ it did. It certainly did tear your soul, but what effects does that actually have? Why did it not just seal together smoothly when it was released? These are questions I cannot answer." Urahara had a serious look as he turned towards Ichigo, but he could see from the light of interest within his eyes that this puzzle had intrigued him. "You said that using your reiatsu was 'bad' Kurosaki-san. What happens when you do?"

The orange haired teen lowered his hand when he realized he was rubbing at his chest again. That was a habit he would damn well break. He could see they had both noticed as their gazes followed his movements. "It hurts," he said bluntly. "Well, it hurts all the time. But it gets worse when I do anything with my reiatsu. I figured it was just part of the healing process, so I've been leaving it alone. It hasn't even been a week yet. It may still heal on its own.. but somehow I don't believe I'll get that lucky."

"I see," Unohana-san paused in thought. "There isn't much I can do about that if it isn't an actual injury. There are certainly herbs or medicines that you may take when it gets painful, but that isn't the same as healing. I myself have never come across anything like this. It may very well be the case that time will heal it, but we shouldn't just leave it. We will have to contact the Research department. Perhaps one of Captain Kurotsuchi's more.. interesting experiments.. have dealt with this issue." She directed this towards the former head of research.

"Ah," Urahara was laughing nervously, rubbing at his hair underneath his hat. "I suppose I'll have to go talk with him, won't I?"

Ichigo grinned slightly at a sudden idea. "You should bring Hiyori along with you. It will at least take his attention away from you."

"Oh, good one, Kurosaki-san. That will make for an interesting outing!" He hid his grin behind his fan as Captain Unohana gazed at him with that inscrutable smile. It was too difficult to tell when she was actually angry which made Ichigo pretty nervous. He supposed she was nice enough but he tended to avoid someone he couldn't read.

"Well, thank you for checking me out Unohana-san. I'm sure we'll figure something out." Ichigo wasn't so sure of that at all. He didn't think there was anything out there that would provide an answer. Even now he could feel a cough building up in his chest.

"Yes. I'm sorry this happened Kursosaki-san. And under my watch as well." She looked kinda troubled, which made him shift uncomfortably.

"It wasn't your fault, Unohana-san. They would have tried something else, maybe killed me outright. But.." He wondered if he should say something. He figured that she was pretty trustworthy though. "I'll just say that someone other than Central 46 saw me get taken out of here. With all of the Captains being treated, there's no way _no one_ noticed." He met her solemn gaze, then shrugged. "Anyways, don't worry about it too much. Thanks again."

With a wave over his shoulder, he strode outside into the cooler air that dusk brought. It looked like he wasn't going to get to sleep until tomorrow morning. He was so goddamned tired, but he wasn't attempting to sleep during the night for awhile. Especially in a place with so many eyes and ears to pick out his weaknesses. He blew out a long, weary breath.

He heard the taps of clogs behind him. "Where to next, Urahara-san?"

A hand clapped his shoulder, pushing him towards the right. "That's enough for today, isn't it? Captain Kurotsuchi is more approachable early in the morning, so let's head to the Fifth barracks for now. You look like you could use some rest and I should get started on research."

An hour later, Ichigo was sitting on the wooden porch near Urahara's rooms with a mug of tea warming his hands. He had been given a room next door to the other man for the time being, until everything was worked out. He was relieved that Hiyori was gone on a mission right now, because it was sort of nice right here.

He looked up at the smattering of stars and almost wished he was back out at that stand of boulders, before the great weight he was beginning to hate had slammed into his shoulders.

Ichigo took a slow sip, enjoying the way the liquid heated him from the inside. His first cup of tea in almost two and a half years. He was going to have a lot of new firsts, he supposed with a huff of laughter.

 _Hey, Zangetsu, you there?_

 _Yes. What is troubling you Ichigo?_

 _Has my soul healed at all over the last five days?_

There was a brief pause. _No. If anything, the blackness surrounding the edges has increased. It appears to be growing by the day._

Well, that sucked. _That doesn't make sense, does it? I mean, if they ripped it out and then put it back, it should have just merged again. From what I understand, a soul needs to be whole, so given the opportunity it should have just started healing back into its former state._

 _I do not know, Ichigo. That certainly seems to be true. There is a slight chance that the amount of time it was separated from you is the cause of this damage._

While Ichigo didn't really like it, the fact was that after the last twenty six months he'd gotten to be rather distrustful and suspicious. There were obviously reasons for it, but he missed the days when everything was so clear-cut and simple for him. But because of this, he had his own theories about what was happening to him right now. _I doubt it, since we were basically put on ice for over two years. Zangetsu.. do you think they did something to the piece of my soul that they took, and now it's messing with the rest of me?_

Zangetsu made a sound of acknowledgment. _It is possible. I cannot tell just from the feel of your soul. I also cannot get near the damage; there is something that repels me._

Ichigo tapped his fingers on the porcelain in thought. He was _really_ glad that Hichigo was staying out of this right now. His hollow wasn't really interested in talking things out and debating theories like Zangetsu was. _Well then, that does make it seem like they did something, right? My soul wouldn't reject you, since you're a part of it. The bit they took should have just joined right back up when they unsealed me. If they wanted to kill me and make it look like an accident, having my own soul do me in would be the best way._

 _Yes, but there will be no way to confirm this unless they confess. However, if the others do find a way to heal your soul it may take care of this problem as well._

 _I think we both know that's probably not true. There's something I wanna try, though it might be dangerous. But I'll only do it if they can't find any solutions out here._

He thought Zangetsu was going to caution him, but to Ichigo's surprise the old man agreed. _If we leave it too long it may become irreversible. Providing your idea is not a suicide mission, I will help. After all, if you die, then we all cease to exist._

 _King! You're seriously dyin' on us after all this? Maybe I should take over and get some revenge while we still can._

And there he was, now that the boring talk was over. Ichigo rolled his eyes and took another drink of his now cooling tea. _Shut up, dumbass. You're not gonna take me over anymore, we both know that. So stop threatening. Plus what are you gonna do when my body just gives out when you try to go through hollowfication? We're just dead sooner._

There was a snort. _Oi, Zangetsu. Or whoever you are. You better help fix this._

With that slightly cryptic remark, Hichigo's presence faded. Zangetsu was still a contemplative presence in the back of his mind.

 _Well, let's just do what we can Old Man. Everyone dies eventually, right? Even Shinigami._

Any reply Zangetsu may have formed was interrupted when Rukia sat down beside him. He startled violently, having been caught up in his inner conversation.

"Damn it Rukia! You trying to kill me?" Ichigo grated, settling back down with a glare. She didn't reply, just silently looked him over. He blew out a breath and smiled slightly at the black-haired Shinigami, getting a fond look in return.

They exchanged a long silent look of study. Rukia had changed her hair. She looked more grown up, which was really nostalgic.

"Rukia looks more grown up since she changed her hair, it's really nostalgic." She deadpanned, before thumping her fist on his head.

"Hey! Get out my head. No way I thought something as lame as that." Ichigo protested, turning his face away to hide his slight blush.

"Predicable as always, Ichigo. So? What did I think just now?" Rukia challenged.

Ichigo scratched his head. "How should I know? Probably that my hair makes me look like a hoodlum, or that I look like shit." Both of which were probably true. But how was he supposed to get a haircut here? Why bother anyways.. it was kind of growing on him.

Rukia smiled slightly before looking up at the stars. Ichigo turned his gaze to follow hers. "It's true you don't look like yourself, Ichigo. But that's not what I was thinking."

"What am I, a mind reader? Get out with it then."

He received another bump on his head for that one. As he was rubbing a hand over his matching injuries, she turned towards him with a soft look on her face.

"I was thinking I'm glad we finally found you. That I'm glad you're alive."

Ichigo couldn't hide his blush this time, and he couldn't find the right words to say. Especially after that conversation with Zangetsu. It wasn't like he was going to roll over and die.. but it didn't look good. Rukia caught his hesitation with a quizzical look.

"Ichigo?"

"Ah, no, sorry. Thanks Rukia, I'm glad to be out of there too. I missed you guys. Renji told me you were bugging the hell out him the last few days, so he must be really happy right now."

This time he ducked out of the way with a grin.

She settled down, her face slightly embarrassed. "So, Ichigo. When they figure all of this out, what are you going to do?"

"That's still pretty far off. I haven't let myself think about it too much yet." He scratched the side of his face in thought. "I can't return to the human world, and I'm not sure if I'd even want to anymore, truth be told."

She nodded, and they sat in companionable silence for a few minutes.

"But it's like the human world, isn't it? I have to decide on my future if I'm given the chance to. So that means I either work and support myself or join the Gotei 13." He sighed, shoulders slumping. "I'm not sure either of those two options really work for me."

"Oh, what's this? Self pity already?" Rukia stood up and strode a few steps into the courtyard. "It doesn't suit you Ichigo. It never has."

Ichigo drew his legs up onto the porch, sitting cross legged and facing Rukia calmly. Rukia was usually the one to force him out of a funk, but he didn't think it would work this time.

"Maybe not. But maybe I'm also not the same Ichigo I was before. I've changed in a lot of ways, not really for the better. I don't recognize myself anymore when I'm around everyone else." He looked away from her searching eyes, resting his chin on his palm. "I'm not trying to wallow in it, but it hasn't even been a week and I'm supposed to be making plans for the future? A future of serving the people who locked me away for twenty six months, who killed my human body."

Rukia opened her mouth to protest and Ichigo flicked his hand through the air. "I know most of the Gotei 13 had nothing to do with it. But all of Central 46 did. It's just hard to trust in this place right now. I trust you guys, and I never doubted you, but there are a lot of people in this world."

"Ichigo.." Rukia trailed off. He seemed to have brought down the mood and he sighed softly. He stood up and walked out onto the grass to stand shoulder-to-shoulder with her, lifting his head to stare up at the glimmering moon far above.

"Sorry, Rukia. I'm just tired after such a long day. I know it's not that bad. I'm alive, I have my friends around me, and I have things to look forward to. I'll be fine."

Rukia bumped shoulders with him to get his attention. Her gaze was kind when he glanced down. "Yes, you will be. But let us help you, idiot. You may not be the same Ichigo that you were two years ago, but all of us have changed a little bit too. We'll help you through it and help you figure out what you want to do in the future. There's nothing in this world that can't be fixed."

"Except death," Ichigo murmured under his breath. Still, he smiled slightly. "Thank you, Rukia. For always trying to get me back on my feet."

She blushed and shoved him. "Do it yourself, dummy." Then she began to stride away. "Go to sleep, Ichigo. You'll feel better tomorrow."

"Yeah, yeah. See you, Rukia."

With a slight smile on his face, Ichigo returned to his spot on the porch to hold vigil until morning. There was no way he was going to try to sleep in the dark of his room at night. Out here there were lanterns and lights and the glow of the stars and moon. It was almost peaceful, with the sounds of bugs and the night breeze _whooshing_ through the leaves.

Who cared if he was tired? He was free.

* * *

Ichigo mumbled to himself mockingly as he washed his haggard face. "Who cared if he was tired? _I_ care. This sucks."

He'd just entered his room as dawn rose over the trees, deciding to catch a quick nap. But then Hiyori had returned to kindly wake him up, stomping into his room just as he'd been drifting off. Her brash voice had shattered the peace and quiet in an instant. He was seriously considering changing his chaperone, damn it.

"Oh, Kurosaki-san, you look like you didn't sleep at all!" Urahara called from across the room, beckoning him over. Ichigo had entered the canteen to grab some breakfast, since he was now required to follow the other man around indefinitely. As Hiyori had mentioned more than once.

Speaking of Hiyori, her loud tones rang throughout the busy tables. "What a baby! A baldy like him probably had nightmares about going bald, eh baldy?" Seriously annoying, that one.

He thumped into a chair at the end of the table, ignoring the curious whispers and halted conversations around him as he neared. It was like high school all over again. He didn't blame the other Shinigami being wary of someone who'd been in prison the last few years, but he also didn't care to deal with it.

"That doesn't even make sense, shorty." He retorted tiredly, bracing his chin on his hand as he stirred halfheartedly at.. whatever this was on his plate. Did they have weird food up here or what? Did they even have farms to grow it? Ichigo wondered where it came from..

He was startled out of his half-doze when a fan waved in front of his face. He glanced over at the culprit and glared weakly. "What?"

"Don't fall asleep in your oatmeal, Kurosaki-san. Eat it. We have a long day today, which we'll begin by visiting Captain Kurotsuchi." Ah.. so it was supposed to be oatmeal.

He pushed away his food after only a few bites and leaned back in his chair, gazing around. The others mainly glanced away to avoid making eye contact and Ichigo wondered what they thought of him. He was sure they all knew who he was, even if it was just for invading all those years ago and becoming the Substitute Shinigami in the human world. Urahara's quiet voice broke into his thoughts.

"They will come around, Kurosaki-san. Some are even still wary of me. Although I'm completely harmless so who knows why!" He waved his fan with a loud laugh and Ichigo shook his head.

"Saying you're completely harmless is like saying Yachiru is harmless." He smirked at Urahara's startled blink. Then he pushed away from the table. "Let's get this over with then, since you're finished." He began walking towards the exit, grabbing their trays to drop off. He ignored Urahara's indignant voice and Hiyori's curses and kept going until he was outside again.

He breathed deeply and settled his heart, which was beating rather thickly. It must be because he'd been awake for more than thirty five hours, but he'd felt pretty anxious in there. He was being ridiculous.

Ichigo stared up at the lazy wisps of clouds, blinking against the harsh sun that speared into his head and set it pounding. He rubbed his eyes with his thumb and forefinger. On to the list of things he was sick of already: add feeling like shit and getting panicked for stupid reasons.

He straightened up when the sound of clogs got closer and raised his eyebrows at the pair accompanying him. Urahara spun around in a flashy manner, leading the way to the laboratories.

Ichigo thought about ignoring Hiyori but decided his curiosity was more important.

"Hey, how come only some of the Visoreds ended up coming back to Soul Society?"

Hiyori glared at him, crossing her arms and kicking at a stone. "What, you suddenly chatty, baldy? The old guy sent a butterfly, sayin' we were welcome back." She snorted in bemusement. "Said he'd find 'places' for everyone here, that he wanted to rebuild the Gotei 13 back to what they were before Aizen fucked everythin' up. As if!"

"But you came anyways?" Ichigo knew Hiyori wasn't as bad as she acted. Sometimes.

"What's it look like, dickhead? I'm here ain't I?" She stuck her tongue out at him.

Ichigo took that back. She was a horrible little brat. "Yeah, alright. Sorry I asked." This apparently was the wrong thing to say as well because she started ranting again.

"This guy," She hiked a thumb in her Captain's direction, "was comin' back and if he could do it, then I could. Plus Shinji and Kensei decided to help out. Said it was 'for the best'. Ain't it always? Bet Aizen thought the same thing."

Ichigo grunted in reluctant agreement. "Maybe a little bit. But his 'for the best' was really only the best for him. He knew that all too well."

Hiyori glared at him. Just couldn't win with this girl. His head started pounding even more ferociously. "Whatever, baldy. Anyways, if they were gonna fix this place then I wasn't gonna leave it to them to screw it up! I mean, look what even happened to you. You're the 'hero' of this place, apparently, and they fucked you over big time!"

Ichigo really didn't have anything to say to that. He winced when his reiatsu fluctuated a bit, a burn searing through his chest. It was definitely getting worse, he noted, while ignoring the looks he was getting from the other two at the wave of spiritual pressure. Maybe he should wear a sign.

"Now, now, Hiyori. Save some of this energy for Captain Kurotsuchi, won't you?"

He tuned the other two out as they began to bicker, shooting a grateful look to Urahara first for drawing her attention.

After what felt like an eternity, but was really only a little over an hour, Urahara and Ichigo emerged from the hurried atmosphere of the Research department. Hiyori had been sent on a training exercise with other members of the Fifth Division directly after their meeting.

It hadn't been as bad as Ichigo had been expecting, aside from the migraine beginning to drill in between his eyes from the noise, glaring sun, lack of sleep, and of course, from Hiyori. But as he'd suspected, it had also been pointless. The only upside was the look on Kurotsuchi Mayuri's face when that loud shorty had gotten in his face. It still made him want to grin.

"Do you think he really didn't know, or is he gonna use this to study me or something?" Ichigo asked with dread.

The blonde Shinigami had a pensive look on his face as he led the way back towards their quarters. "It's hard to say, but I believe he didn't have any useful information. It may have also intrigued him enough – probably for the wrong reasons – to look into it more. The Captain-Commander would have ordered it anyways. It's the best we could have hoped for, other than a solution."

Ichigo nodded, his bangs sliding across his forehead. He shoved them back irritably. "Yeah. I never did think the information would just be lying around. So, what's next, chaperone? Is Dad getting here soon?"

"Yes, in two hours he'll arrive. For now, I'm going to do some more research of my own. I suggest you get some sleep, or else your father will make a racket." He punctuated this with a jab of his fan.

Ichigo just scrubbed a hand over his face and spoke through a yawn. "Doesn't take much to get Goat-face all riled up. But I'll take the nap. Don't remember the last time I slept for more than an hour."

Urahara hummed in absentminded sympathy. Ichigo could tell his mind was elsewhere, which was fine with him. They walked together in comfortable silence, each splitting off to their separate rooms immediately upon their arrival. Ichigo made sure to leave the door cracked open so that the sunlight spilled in. Just one of his new neuroses.

He let out a groan like an old man as he finally laid down, turning onto his side so that he was facing the exit with Zangetsu a protective barrier between him and the door. Only then did he let himself drift off into a guarded sleep.

He was jolted out of a dream an indeterminate amount of time later due to a rough shake. He bolted straight up, looking wildly around, vaguely catching sight of Urahara's wide eyes.

But Ichigo's eyes bounced to the empty floor beside him where his Zanpakuto should have been, around the darkened room, and to the closed door. His heart felt like it would beat out of his chest; his breath caught in his throat. And his reiatsu slammed down on the two occupants of the room.

He gripped his hair and drew up his knees, trying to get a hold of himself, but all he could see was the blank prison walls and his hands chained to the arms of a stiff chair. He thought he heard Urahara speak and raised his eyes to see the mans lips moving, but he couldn't hear over the panicked rush of blood in his ears.

"Shit, shit, _shit_!" He rasped out between gasps. Urahara's hand came into his line of sight and he instinctively pushed backwards away from it, bracing one hand on the slick floorboards. The other gripped the robes over his chest at the alarming rush of pain that spread through him.

 _Ichigo, calm yourself. You only do yourself danger by giving in to the panic._

 _Ya, King, settle down damn it. The buildings in here are goin' nuts!_

He still couldn't hear the shopkeeper's voice, but he spoke in a jumbled rush anyways. "S-sorry.. just – just give me a minute.." It was only when he felt the hilt of his sword brush against his hand and he'd grasped it in his shaking grip that he relaxed at all.

 _Damn. Sorry. I'm alright guys._

He shut his burning eyes and pulled in one deep breath after another, until he didn't feel like he was going to pass out anymore. And so that his reiatsu calmed the fuck down. Then he slumped back against the solid wall behind him. Ichigo rasped a hand over his face to get the sweat out of his eyes, then shoved back his hair. Only then did he risk facing the room.

He avoided Urahara's piercing look at first, glancing around to reorient himself. Obviously _not_ back in prison. Just in his quarters. Urahara had been waking him up to meet with his Dad. He grimaced before turning to face the other occupant of the room.

He wasn't wearing his hat and sat cross-legged just out of arms reach. His eyes were grave. But still he didn't speak, so Ichigo felt obligated to break the tense silence.

"Ah.. sorry about that. I have a few issues when I sleep right now. Didn't mean to.. do that." To say Ichigo was embarrassed would be an understatement. Try mortified. He seriously winced a moment later when his chest stabbed at him again. He realized he was still gripping the robes over his breastbone but couldn't quite let go as the pain ramped up.

"The pain increased because you just released your spiritual pressure so abruptly, didn't it?" Urahara's words were quiet in the still room.

"Yeah. Uh, sorry again, but it might get worse. It does sometimes. Just so I don't freak you out again." Ichigo was rambling but he was still shaken by his extreme reaction. God, he hoped no one else was around. He averted his gaze.

"It's fine, Kursosaki-san. You know.. if we were still in Karakura town I would have mentioned something like this to your father.. but these are different circumstances." He went on, not acknowledging Ichigo's surprised glance. "But I hope you'll confide in someone, because even the strongest of men struggle to deal with the aftermath of what has been done to them."

Ichigo swallowed past the lump in his throat. His reply was interrupted by a harsh cough ripping out of him. He covered his mouth to catch the crimson spray that escaped as he hunched forward, hacking through the razor-sharp jabs of pain of each breath he managed to draw in.

He felt Urahara's hand on his back and a glass slick with cool condensation was pressed into his free hand. He sipped between the hoarse coughs until they subsided. Then he drained the glass to rid himself of the copper tang on his tongue and fell back against the wall again.

"How long has this been happening, Kursosaki-san?" Urahara's voice was strained as he pressed a handkerchief into Ichigo's bloody palm. He cleaned himself up, wiping at his mouth to get rid of the evidence.

Ichigo straightened up from his slump and rubbed both hands slowly over his face. His rough voice came from behind them. "Pretty much since the beginning. It's worse now and it happens easier too. Still not as bad as my last attack." He shrugged. "Sorry to inconvenience you so much, Urahara-san."

A long breath was released from his left. "Don't trouble yourself. I just hope we can find a solution since you're deteriorating so quickly. We have to go meet your father now; we're already late."

Ichigo went to the basin in the corner and splashed the lukewarm water over his face, doing his best to clean up. After he finger-combed his messy hair, he felt as ready as he'd ever be. "Alright, let's go. Just one question: do you have any place that's secure that we can talk in?"

The blonde man ran a hand through his hair and gave a nod before settling his hat on his head. Ichigo had no idea where he'd pulled that from. "Who do you think I am, Kursosaki-san? Of course I do."

The older man paused in the open doorway, his back to Ichigo.

"I'll caution the others to leave you be when you're resting. And I will not wake you up so suddenly again, nor move Zangetsu. So, Kurosaki-san, please get some proper rest when we return from this visit? If you collapse on me, Captain Unohana will kill me."

Ichigo felt a ghost of a smile cross his lips. "Yeah. Thanks."


	5. Reunion

And here's chapter 5!

Thanks for the review Cinniomon, it's an interesting idea! I actually have a lot of ideas for this story.. including a sequel at some point. But having their reactions would make a good one shot!

Anyways, I hope you guys enjoy!

* * *

"Ichigoooo-" The shouting voice was cut off abruptly when his face met his son's foot.

"Oi, Goat-face, settle down." Ichigo's voice was gruff, though he pretended that was in anger. In all honesty he was very thankful that his Dad was there. He'd felt a great tide of relief when he'd first caught sight of him.. at least until the old guy had opened his mouth.

"Oh, Masaki! Our son has come home at last!" Isshin dropped into a praying stance, speaking to the ceiling since the giant portrait of his Mom wasn't there. "But look at him! Our son has turned into a hoodlum Masaki. A hoodlum! Next time I see him he'll have piercings and tattoos! What's a father to do with such an unruly son!"

Ichigo resolutely ignored this soliloquy to look around. They were in an underground room close to the Research department, the entrance hidden within the Twelfth Division's compound. Urahara must have built it when he was Captain here. Ichigo would bet anything it linked up to the other location via a secret entrance. The scientist was sneaky like that sometimes.

While smaller, it was rather similar to the cavern underneath Urahara's shop, although he'd never painted a sky on the ceiling here. There were tables covered in papers and books, and a full laboratory in a connected room. Urahara's secret base for his own research. He wondered if Aizen had been aware of this. He probably had been, since he'd been basically an evil mastermind/spy.

He was brought back to reality with a clap to his shoulder. He turned his head to meet his father's now serious smile. "Oi, Ichigo. I'm glad you're back, alive and well. And a Shinigami still.. it's been a surprising week for me!"

Ichigo ran a hand over the back of his neck. "Thanks, Dad. It's good to see you too. How are Yuzu and Karin? Have they recovered from.. well I guess it'd be my death, wouldn't it?"

Urahara interrupted to beckon them over. He'd pulled a low table from somewhere, set up with a tray of tea. The man was always a surprise. His old man waited until they were settled on cushions before clearing his throat.

"Well, when you disappeared we didn't know where to look. Urahara and I looked in the human world for you in soul form, since we knew where your human body was, and others looked for you here. But your sisters.. you'd already been gone a long time fighting in the war. Then when you vanished afterward I could only tell them you were missing. They cried a long time. There was no grave because we had to bury your body not long after the war ended. Having Kon keep it would be cruel, and also - I guess it would have been when they sealed you – anything we did with your body, whether it was to occupy it with an artificial soul or to put it in stasis, was rejected by it. There was nothing we could do. We didn't want to have a funeral when we'd just told them you were missing.." He said this with an apologetic air.

Ichigo winced. He'd really hated lying to his family and friends about what he was and where he always disappeared to. He hated that he was such a big cause of pain for his siblings, especially when they'd already lost their mother. And to not have the closure of a funeral.. he understood why they hadn't wanted to tell his sisters he'd died, but maybe it would have been better.

"But, Ichigo," His father began again, clasping a hand on his shoulder roughly, "Your family is strong. We pick ourselves up and keep going. I don't believe they ever accepted you were dead, although after a year we did make a shrine so that they could pray and talk to you when they wanted to. Karin especially knew something was happening, because she knew more about your secrets than I think you realized. But they are healthy and as happy as they can be with just each other and their Dad."

"I see. That's good." Ichigo's voice was soft as he thought about all of this. He was glad they weren't suffering too much, but.. "What would happen if I went back and told them what happened? Do you think it would be too much?"

"I don't know, Ichigo. Of course they would love to see you, but deliberately telling humans about the Shinigami is forbidden in Soul Society. It would cause more problems here for you. And you couldn't return to the human world very often at all.."

"Well.. we'll leave it at that. It might not matter anyways." Ichigo straightened up and looked at both of the other men seriously for a long moment, and the air became heavy with expectation. "There's something you both should know, although Urahara-san has probably guessed already."

"Oh? You married or something now too, Ichigo?" His father teased, trying to lighten the atmosphere. But Ichigo just shook his head in exasperation, trying to decide how to say this.

 _Sometimes it is best just to deal the blow than to soften it, Ichigo._

 _Yeah, you're right, Old Man._

Ichigo looked into his father's eyes and his words rang loudly in the silent cavern. "I'm dying."

There was a pulsing silence, before Urahara waved his fan. "Well I know you're deteriorating quickly, Kursosaki-san, but there's no need to be so dramatic."

"No," Ichigo shook his head. "It's true. They did something to the piece of soul that they sealed away. It's poisoning the rest of me. I haven't gone to look at it in my soulscape in awhile, but I can feel it."

Isshin turned towards the shopkeeper. "Oi, Urahara. Didn't you have someone supervise when they unsealed his soul? How could they have gotten the chance to tamper with it? They could only have done so when they were reversing the seal."

"Of course we did. Captain Ukitake was there, since he is knowledgeable of such things. I have no idea what they would have done to it. But it makes perfect sense that they would make sure their imagined problem, meaning Kursosaki-san, was taken care of in such a roundabout way." Urahara's eyes darkened dangerously as he turned towards Ichigo. "I suspected something more was wrong with you, but not that they would intentionally know how to damage the piece of soul they were unsealing. Why didn't you say so sooner?"

Ichigo glanced away, scratching at his cheek in consternation. "I was hoping that something would turn up beforehand, when we talked to Unohana-san and Kurotsuchi Mayuri. But nothing did and it's getting worse everyday. After talking it over with Zangetsu last night, I realized that this is the only explanation."

Isshin crossed his arms, face set in stone. "We will have to talk to the Captain-Commander about this. It's an even larger offense for them to have committed, though it will be next to impossible to prove it. But he should be made aware either way. How much longer do you think you have, Ichigo?"

Ichigo sighed, seeing the look his dad and Urahara were currently exchanging. "Who knows? Let me go look at it, and you guys can have the conversation that you've been wanting to have alone." He waved away their surprised looks. "When aren't you guys trying to keep things from me for my own protection? But consider letting me in on it once you're done. I'm going to meditate now and see how much the damage has grown."

With that he closed his eyes and blinked into his inner world.

He glanced around, waving at Zangetsu and Hichigo when they appeared in front of him. It felt different in here: like there was a prowling menace just out of sight. Threatening clouds were roiling over the usually pristine sky like a stain.

"Not so great in here, is it? It's actually worse than I thought."

 _Yo King, if you think that looks bad then turn around._ Hichigo pointed casually to something behind and to the left of him, so Ichigo obligingly turned his head. And gasped in pure shock.

"What the hell is that?! You didn't tell me it was _this_ bad!"

There was a great rip down the center of his inner world, tearing through the buildings, leaving behind rubble and broken glass. The storm clouds he'd seen were pouring from the top like a smokestack, spreading across the sky.

Inside the tear it was pitch black, but he could just barely see the pulsing movements of shadows moving within shadows. It didn't look like it was getting bigger all that quickly, but it had definitely grown a lot from the last time he'd been here. It looked.. evil. He could sense his death in that great void, and it was terrifying.

 _We did not tell you for the same reasons that you did not tell your father and the shopkeeper. We had hoped for a solution. But each day it grows a bit more._ Zangetsu sounded distressed, which was just _wrong._

"How long do you think I have, Zangetsu?"

 _It is hard to say. No more than a month if I had to guess conservatively. A few weeks is more accurate._

"Bastards. How could they do something like this?" Ichigo was furious and frightened. The air in here felt like it was growing heavier. The whole damn place felt doomed. "You guys can't get close to it, huh?"

 _Nah, the old man and I have tried. A force just pushes us away._

Well, Ichigo would just have to try then.

He jumped from skyscraper to skyscraper, his sandals tapping lightly on the shining glass as he grew closer. The denseness of the atmosphere grew until it was oppressive. But this was _his_ soul, goddamn it, and he was in control here.

 _Ichigo, be cautious. You are already closer than we managed to get. We have no way to know what will happen._

"Yeah, got it. I won't go inside or anything, don't worry."

He slowed, then stopped when it grew difficult to move. He was close enough that the scar towered over him. It felt like his soul was.. screaming. It was deeply unsettling. The pure force coming from the void was rippling his robes and hair. This felt dangerous, but he had to know what was going on. His life literally depended on it.

So Ichigo began inching forwards, hyper aware of any changes that occurred as he neared. It probably saved his life, or at least spared him from a serious injury.

A tendril of inky black shadow whipped out of the center towards him in a blur. He barely managed to dodge out of the way, rolling across the surface of the building before coming up in a crouch.

"What the hell was that?" He shouted back at his spirits over the great racket of whipping power and wind that this thing was emitting.

 _It is attacking only your presence. I do not know what this means._

 _Course ya do, idiot. Cornered animals lash out when they're in danger, ya know. It doesn't want Ichigo to get close._

"My reckless idea is looking better and better then!"

 _Your idea was to enter the void? It is plausible. It may also mean your - and subsequently our - death._

"You have any better ideas? I'm not gonna do it right now, but it's at the top of my list of things to try!" Ichigo grunted at a hard landing as he dodged another tentacle-like strand.

 _I'm for it! Kicking ass is better than layin' down and dyin' like a dog. You wanna stay the King, ya gotta show that you're the only one fit to rule._

"I know I'm in trouble when we agree!" Ichigo yelled back with a laugh. It was actually kind of exhilarating, in a terrifying way, to be in danger like this. He'd been cooped up and only sparring for years, after all, and had done nothing since he'd been released except do laps and lift weights.

He quickly ducked and jumped forwards to avoid another jab but it seemed he grew too close, because suddenly three tendrils stabbed outwards towards him.

"Shit!" He rolled under the first, jerked sideways to evade the second, but the third caught him across the stomach. His breath _whooshed_ out of him, and he felt blood spray as he coughed at the pure force. He was thrown backwards, smashing through one, two, three towers, before slamming into the fourth with an echoing _thud_ and the cracking of glass.

Ichigo clutched his stomach as he hacked, trying to get air into his lungs. He cracked open an eye, but the tentacles had retreated to wave ominously before the blackness. As he watched they slowly leached back inside.

"Ouch, damn it." He rasped. That thing had been like getting hit by a wrecking ball.

 _Are you alright, Ichigo?_

"Yeah, somehow. That was dangerous." Ichigo gingerly sat up, coughing out another mouthful of blood. He wiped it away with a shaking hand. "Gonna be hard to get in there later with those things guarding the entrance."

Hichigo was laughing uproariously. _Damn, it really clobbered ya._

Ichigo grunted out a terse retort, before stumbling to his feet.

 _Ichigo, it seems as if your father and the shopkeeper are anxious. You should return immediately. I think the repercussions of fighting the void are felt in the real world as well._

If that meant what Ichigo thought it did, then this really was a big problem. "Yeah, I'm off. See you guys again soon."

* * *

Ichigo opened his eyes to see his father's face above him and Urahara's off to the side. He was lying down while looking at the rough stone ceiling above.

He pushed himself into a sitting position, groaning when his midsection throbbed insistently. Damn that hurt. Apparently touching the poison in his soul made him hurt out here too. He could only guess it was because the damage was connecting his body and his soul so that he was no longer okay when he got hurt in his soulscape. Talk about inconvenient.

He coughed again, crimson spraying his hand as he covered his mouth. He looked down at it with a blank face before wiping his hand off on his robes and scrubbing at his mouth. Then he took a deep breath and looked at the other two men.

"That sucked." He grated out. That thing packed a mean punch.

His father slapped him upside the head, ignoring Ichigo's indignant curses. The other two men settled back at the table, waiting for Ichigo to rejoin them. He carefully sat back in his original position and took a long sip of tea. They were staring at him guardedly.

"Sorry, had no idea that would happen." He began. "It's way worse than before in there."

"Idiot. What'd you do in there? Something dangerous without thinking about it?" Goat-face mocked, releasing a great sigh. "You suddenly fall over and start coughing up blood and you just say 'it sucked'? You haven't changed that much, son."

Ichigo wasn't sure what to say to that. Urahara spoke up from beside his dad. "So what happened in your inner world, Kursosaki-san?"

As he explained, Ichigo could see their faces become increasingly grim.

"So, we finally get you back and you have only a few weeks left, eh?" Isshin rubbed a hand over his face. "You sure are a drama queen."

"Hey!" Ichigo protested. "It's not like I wanted anything to happen like this. And anyways, there aren't any guarantees."

Urahara nodded slowly. "I can see what you're planning to do, Kurosaki-san, and I must caution against it. Entering such a place is extremely risky."

Ichigo planted his fists on his knees and stubbornly looked at his father and.. friend? Mentor? Crazy neighborhood shopkeeper? Who knew.

"The only other option is finding out what exactly they did to my soul when they unsealed it, and they're never going to admit that. And anyways, this thing has a life of it's own now. I can't imagine that they anticipated this happening. But.. my hollow was right, as hard as that is to admit. It lashed out like it was being cornered, which means that it was afraid of me getting too close. I think my only chance is to confront it inside my soulscape and beat it from within."

"Since when do you listen to your hollow, Ichigo? I thought its goal was to take you over." Isshin's voice was stern. "This could be part of that thing's plan."

Hichigo suddenly cursed. _Tell your old man to get off'a my case, King. Everyone hates hollows, but we're what they made us, and we're just doing what we've been made to do. Every living thing just does that, ya know. Aizen was the only one who tried ta understand what we were and encourage it, prick that he was._

 _I got it, Hichigo. I'll try to explain._

He focused on his dad, who was glaring at him protectively. "You know, Dad, my hollow and I aren't at war anymore." He also looked at Urahara as he made this point.

"I don't see how that's possible, Kursosaki-san. Hollows are made to kill anything weaker than they are. I've studied them extensively in order to aid the Visoreds while Aizen was conducting his hollowfication experiments. Not once did communicating with them help, since they were unable to reason. The only way to live through hollowfication is to gain control over them and to keep that control."

Ichigo shook his head. "As far as I can tell, you're treating the hollows as mindless beasts. But that's not what they are. As soon as hollows gain enough power in Hueco Mundo, they have a consciousness. They communicate, have their own thoughts, feelings and goals. Does that sound like an animal to you? Maybe when a Shinigami is first hollowfied the hollows are unreasonable and out of control, but as the Shinigami grow, don't the hollows grow as well? And if that growth is like eating hollows in Hueco Mundo, then they become something _more._ Hichigo raised a good point, during one of our discussions." Ichigo couldn't mention that the discussion had taken place one minute ago, but whatever. He could see the skeptical looks on the others faces, though he could also tell that Urahara was thinking about this carefully. He was probably one of the only ones who wouldn't think Ichigo was crazy for saying this stuff.

"Oi, Ichigo, you gave it a name? It's not a pet, and it's not your friend." Isshin sounded disappointed in him, but Ichigo just rolled his eyes.

"Just listen to me, will you? I know he's not a damn pet, and he's not really my friend. But he's a part of my soul and he works together with me now. It might be hard to believe, but it's true. Hichigo said that hollows are just doing what they were made to do. They eat other hollows and souls and grow stronger, so they naturally fight against Shinigami. But don't Shinigami train to grow stronger, so that they can beat hollows? We have both evolved over time to fight each other, because it balances the world to do so. But have either of you ever really talked to a hollow? Not an Arrancar, who really just followed Aizen's orders, but a regular hollow. They may be violent and they may live to kill, but they're not just something to be subjugated. It's the same for us."

 _Damn right, King. You remember that._

 _Shut up, will you?_

The other two stared at him in shock. "You've changed a lot, Kursosaki-san." Urahara sounded slightly impressed. "This throws all of my research into question, but it doesn't change the fact that the only way that the Visoreds have been able to live is to subjugate them."

"Ah," He groaned, scratching at his head. "This is hard to explain properly. The other Visoreds, including me, beat our hollows into submission because that's all we _could_ do at the time, right? But their hollows are now on a leash and they hate it, so they rebel. They don't recognize the Visoreds strength, because beating something into submission is not a form of strength to them. Hollows kill because it eliminates the competition and because they gain strength. So they don't consider their masters to be strong." Ichigo paused, wondering if this made sense. Urahara waved him on, so Ichigo shrugged and continued. "Aizen would be the exception to this rule, since he became the leader of the Arrancar by force. Aizen was the exception to most rules, I think. But the fact is, he acknowledged their strength by giving them ranks and making it into a sort of competition. And because he promised that they would get to wipe out the Shinigami."

The other two looked troubled by talking about Aizen this way, but Ichigo didn't want to sugar-coat this. It was what it was. Isshin cleared his throat. "But you somehow worked something out with yours?"

"I'm not saying I did it better, but I've had two years of sitting in my inner world and talking to my hollow to fix the problem. And what I learned was this: our hollows don't really want to take control over us and kill us. They just want their freedom to be what they are without unnecessary restrictions. Maybe they don't want to be under our control, but they are willing to compromise if given the choice. I think this could apply to the other Visoreds." Ichigo was actually interested in testing that out if he survived all of this. The Visoreds had helped him out a lot, so he'd like to return the favor. He shook his head at his father when he looked like he was going to interrupt.

"The point is, our hollows are a part of us. They have to understand, as we do, that there are only three choices: to work with us and lend us their powers so that we can continue to grow strong together; to die once they take over because no one else will stand for it; or to keep their power in check by force. The last option is the one everyone uses, but it's not the best one. I know your research and everything you know goes against that, but I've talked to my inner hollow more than maybe anyone ever has. The only other person I believe would understand this fully is Aizen, as hard as that is to hear." Ichigo winced when he brought this up, but it had to be said.

Ichigo sighed and waved away their stricken looks before finishing up his train of thought. "Anyways, I haven't tried to bring out my mask because I think the power would kill me as I am now, but we really do work together. Even since being unsealed he hasn't attempted to take me over at all, and I'm no longer spending my energy trying to contain him. We spar when I enter my inner world, and he teaches me to be better by kicking my ass. It works for us."

"Well, I'll wait to see you bring out your hollow powers before making a final judgment, but I believe this warrants talking to Hirako Shinji about, if you don't mind. I'd like you to be there as well, Kursosaki-san." Urahara looked kinda disturbed that Ichigo had just thrown out decades of research, which made him want to smile.

"Yeah I'd like to be there. I have a few things to talk to him about too." Ichigo shrugged and shifted in discomfort. Damn, he'd be feeling that hit for days. Speaking of which.. "Back to our earlier discussion, I agree with Hichigo that the void didn't want me to enter. I think I might be able to purify it somehow if I enter it. I have no idea what it is, and I'm willing to wait to see if we can find out, but there aren't many other options here. I don't have much time left."

His dad sighed loudly. "Oh, Masaki, having a son is giving me gray hair! Such a reckless kid."

"One week, Kurosaki-san. If in a week I don't find any leads, then you are free to do what you think is best." Urahara was waving his fan to hide his expression. "I will ask the Captain-Commander for permission to look through Central 46's records to see if there is anything to help us figure out what they did to you."

Ichigo gave one sharp nod and a smile to the other man. "It's a plan then. Let me know if there's anything I can do to help, since I'm stuck as your shadow for now."

Urahara nodded in return before rising to stroll towards the entrance. "I'm going to send a message to the Captain-Commander."

Now that they were alone, there was something Ichigo wanted to ask. "Hey, Dad.."

Isshin smiled slightly. "We buried you next to your mother. The girls don't know it yet, but it's where your body belonged. Once this is all worked out, we'll decide what to tell your sisters."

Ichigo released a sigh of relief, his eyes prickling embarrassingly. "Next to mom, huh? That's good. But you know.. even if this all works out perfectly I think you should put my name on the grave and let them move on. Maybe Karin would understand where I am now, but Yuzu would have a harder time. It's been too long already."

His father nodded, an understanding look on his face. "Well, let's not get ahead of ourselves, Ichigo. It's a bad situation for everyone."

Isshin stood up and stretched with a loud groan, so Ichigo rose to join him. "Time to go, Goat-face?"

"Yeah, just about. I'd hoped all my worries would be gone at the end of this meeting, but at least I got to see you. I'm proud that you're doing alright in spite of all this, Ichigo."

Ichigo shifted uncomfortably as they went to join Urahara. "Yeah, yeah. I'm doing okay. I'm glad I got to see you too, Dad."

His father grinned widely at him, a genuine smile that he usually hid behind his silly antics. Ichigo returned the smile before they met with Urahara to walk to their destination.

Even though his future was so uncertain, he couldn't regret being able to have a chance to reconnect with all of the people he cared about. On that subject, there was one last thing he wanted to know.

"Could we get Kon back to Soul Society? It would have to be after I recovered, but I'd like to bring him here with me. He doesn't belong in the human world. As long as no one tried to kill him or experiment on him here, I think he'd be good to have around. I'd vouch for him."

Urahara laughed. "Always the savior, Kursosaki-san! I will talk to the Captain-Commander about it as well but I don't foresee any issues, as long as you take the rap for any trouble he causes."

Isshin shook his head. "He's definitely a handful. I've been looking out for him, but I know he misses you and his 'onee-chan'."

Ichigo smiled. "Say hi to him for me, and fill him in, okay?"

They continued on, chatting casually on the way back to the area where they would unlock the gate back to the human world. His Dad tossed a friendly arm over his shoulders in a one-armed hug before stepping into the entrance of the portal. He waved over his shoulder, and without looking back, gave one last retort before disappearing.

"Oi, Ichigo. Get a hair cut. Your mother and I didn't raise a hoodlum."

Well, his Dad had a style of his own, that was for sure.


	6. Uncovering

Chapter 6 guys~! This one gets into the details finally!

As for your question, Cinniomon, that's the plan! I'm not sure if Chad, Ishida and Orihime will get much screen time in this story, maybe an appearance near the end. But if I do the sequel then they will definitely be in that.

Hope you guys enjoy this!

* * *

The next few days passed in a blur. Ichigo still attempted to rest, but only caught a few hours at a time during the day. He'd taken to resting in Urahara's underground research room while the other man searched through texts and formulated theories. He was still jolted out of sleep by nightmares, but it was the best it was going to get for now.

His health continued to deteriorate to the point that he was always coughing. He knew he looked sick but until he either healed or died, there was nothing to be done. He was worrying his friends though. Whenever he had a visitor or passed someone in the street, they looked concerned - aside from the few Captains that wore their emotionless masks like Toushiro and Byakuya.

One look at him and Kenpachi had begun muttering and walking away, not even demanding a fight. That's how he knew he looked as bad as he felt. Ichigo was still avoiding mirrors, after all.

Urahara had gotten permission to send Renji into Central 46 to scan the records, but nothing had come from that yet. Even less had transpired from meetings with the council members, who were being tight-lipped about the entire issue.

No one else had found anything that would help him either. There was no Kido or seal that would heal or rebind his soul. There wasn't a cleanse for it either. It looked like he was going to have to take the plunge and just jump into the void. He wasn't even sure what he was supposed to do in there, or if he'd just die instantly.

He was laying on his back in the middle of the floor, listening to Urahara mumble to himself as he formulated another theory. Rukia had left earlier after a brief visit, which had been tense. He'd told her a few days ago about his real situation and he could see the determination in her eyes to help him. He could also see the despair that there wasn't much she could actually do. But even just having his friends around him right now was helping keep him occupied and he was very grateful. When he'd told her that she'd hit him to hide her embarrassment. He smiled at the memory.

Since then Ichigo had been laying here, thinking of everything while trying not to think at all. Sometimes he mused aloud, since Urahara had asked him to. A random thought sometimes sparked an idea for the scientist, so he obliged whenever he could. Anything to help, since the hours were dwindling away. It had been four days since his father had left.

A deep cough escaped him, but he just rubbed his chest until it subsided. He had a sudden thought, and thanked his father's medical texts that he'd sometimes scanned through when he was bored.

"Hey, Urahara-san. Even though I haven't been using my reiatsu at all, my coughing has increased. That doesn't make sense though, does it? Why would a symptom begin to happen when the original cause isn't there? I could understand if other symptoms cropped up, but I've only ever coughed, and now it happens regardless of what I do."

Urahara paused to glance over, before tapping his pencil on a notebook pensively. "That's an interesting thought, Kursosaki-san. The increasing damage to your soul would be my first guess, but that damage has also been there since the beginning. This means that something is constantly being affected by your reiatsu, but it happens even when your reiatsu is at rest so it's been unnoticeable to us."

Urahara's eyes lit up and he spun to face Ichigo fully, who raised himself up on one elbow. "So what would be always connected to my reiatsu like that?"

"The Saketsu, of course!" Ichigo could see the other man's eyes sharpen, his thoughts obviously whirring at a pace Ichigo couldn't follow.

"What's a Saketsu?"

Urahara flailed his fan in his direction, motioning at his chest. "You've heard of this before, Kursosaki-san. When Captain Kuchiki took away your Shinigami powers years ago, he did so by severing your Saketsu and Hakusui. These are also called your Binding Chain and Soul Sleep. You remember when I cut your Chain of Fate to restore those powers, don't you?"

Ichigo sat up to face the other man. This was stirring up his excitement as well. It felt like they were actually getting somewhere. "Yeah, the chain ate itself but I eventually got my powers back and heard Zangetsu's name."

"Right, that process is called Encroachment. The place where the chain was connected to, the plate on your chest, is the area that becomes your Saketsu when you form into a Shinigami. If the Encroachment completes then the soul becomes a hollow, and that area becomes the hollow's hole."

Ichigo nodded in understanding. "So what does the Saketsu and the.. whatever it was.. have to do with my reiatsu?"

Urahara gave a dramatic sigh. "You really don't know anything, Kurosaki-san!" Ignoring Ichigo's eye-roll, he continued his explanation in a rush. "The Hakusui is the _source_ of your Shinigami powers. The Saketsu works with your Hakusui and boosts your reiatsu."

Well, damn. "Then whatever they did to my soul is affecting my Saketsu and Hakusui, which is why I'm getting worse no matter what I do?"

"Ding, ding!" The blonde man jabbed his fan in the air.

Ichigo was glad that he seemed so enthusiastic about this, but it still didn't tell them _what_ was affecting him. As if sensing this, Urahara elaborated. "There are a limited number of things that can affect these core parts of a Shinigami. One is to irreparably damage both with a Zanpakuto, as you already know. The Hougyoku was another object that could alter them."

"But they didn't use a sword and I doubt those idiots could get their hands on or make something like the Hougyoku, so what the hell did they do?" Ichigo ran a hand through his hair, a picture of frustration.

"Now, now, don't be so hasty Kurosaki-san. My best idea right now is that they somehow utilized the Encroachment process. It is the only other thing that I am aware of that interferes with the Saketsu area on a soul. Many, many years ago there was research into turning the process into a weapon. You see, stopping the Encroachment is impossible once it's begun to eat the Chain of Fate, which is a very powerful form of destruction. However there was no way to detach a link during the event and isolate it so that we could study it in-depth, so the idea was abandoned for a period of time."

"Let me guess. You were so interested you restarted the project when you ran out of new things to research?" This man's huge intellect and curiosity had created many dangerous things, it seemed.

Urahara looked away and nodded somewhat guiltily. "I reexamined our findings, and having spent more time on developing artificial souls, I felt we could finish the project. A Chain of Fate joins a soul to their human body. When it is cut, it eats itself to self-destruct. So therefore a soul cannot live without its body unless they are either a Shinigami, a hollow, or they have been bound to something in the human world instead. This is also a form of balance in the world."

Ichigo hummed in thought. "Since you could make artificial souls, you attempted to make one with a Chain of Fate then?"

"Yes. It was not a success, I'm afraid. I altered the model for the Mod-Soul, like your friend Kon, so that the Chain of Fate bonded to the pill-like orb that contained the condensed fabricated soul. While I did find a way to synthesize a Chain of Fate, it wasn't perfect and often would make the soul go berserk whether it was cut or not. This was because an artificial soul cannot turn into a hollow or Shinigami, and as such it is not classified as a living soul. The Encroachment recognized this and would just eat away at the chain before devouring its artificial host, until there was nothing left at all. These artificial souls would always die after a period of time because the synthesized Chain of Fate would not let them exist when it considered them to be dead. Souls are impossible to replicate perfectly, after all. After this the project was scrapped permanently."

Ichigo flopped backwards so he was lying on the hard floor once more. "So the guys at Central 46 got a hold of your old research and made one of these things to put in me? Kinda far-fetched."

"No, not really." Something in Urahara's tone made Ichigo raise his head to stare at him as he continued. "A man who was an important part of my team during my tenure as Head of Research, and who was very invested in this particular experiment, is one of the men who now serve in Central 46. He would be the only man there who would know what to do. I imagine, if we ask Captain Ukitake, that he was also the one who unsealed you."

Ichigo shot back up at these words. It was dangerous to feel any hope, but it was still swelling within him. "So we know what he did. He hid one of those pills in that piece of soul before it self-destructed and let it reconnect with me. When it began to eat itself within me, then it started to damage me as well. So what can we do about it?"

The other man was pacing slowly, each step producing a _clack_ on the stone below. He looked troubled, which Ichigo understood because _he_ was pretty damn disconcerted right now. He had a soul like Kon within him, one that ultimately had been created for no purpose other than to kill itself. To say it was unfair was an understatement.

"Well, Kursosaki-san, I have to admit I considered what would happen if one of these pills was put inside of another soul. The entire project was based on turning the Encroachment process into a weapon, after all. But we never attempted it due to the failure of the experiment itself. I can only theorize that the fabricated soul is confused because while its host is dead, it is surrounded by a living Shinigami's soul. I do not believe my colleague considered this in his hasty attempt to kill you. This means there is a chance to reverse it, but I need a few days to look into it further."

He faced Ichigo with a grave look, like he was expecting him to kick his ass or something.

 _Ya should, King. This guys inventions have done nothin' but cause huge-ass messes that he sends you to clean up. What does he think he's doin'?_

 _Shinigami will always attempt to grow stronger, it is in their evolutionary makeup. They are, after all, 'gods' of death. You cannot blame them for unraveling mysteries and attempting to use them to their advantage. It is the individuals who twist something innocent into something terrible for their own gain that are to blame._

 _Yeah, I agree with Zangetsu._ When Hichigo protested, Ichigo really wished he was in there to pound some common sense into the battle-crazed being. _You told me earlier that hollows are just doing what they were made to do, Hichigo. Don't be a hypocrite and blame Shinigami for the same thing._

His hollow's grumbles subsided, and Ichigo turned his attention to the man in front of him so that he could stall the unnecessary apologies.

"It's fine, Urahara-san. Soul Society might make you look into weapons, but you're not interested in that.. You just want to know everything, right? I bet the other guy who did this to me was into that project for other reasons." When he got a reluctant nod, Ichigo continued. "You might have made the Hougyoku, but you didn't make Aizen use it like he did. And you may have created these 'suicide pills', but you didn't want them to be used like that. So don't feel guilty for any of this." Ichigo thought about it for a second, then pointed at the other man accusingly. "But maybe lock up your goddamn research better, so that absolutely no one can get to it later on!"

Urahara was silent for a moment, then began to laugh. Rather than his usual fake chuckles, Ichigo could tell this was the genuine Urahara. "Oh, Kurosaki-san, you never cease to surprise me! I promise that after I fix what was done to you I will find a fool-proof way to conceal my research. You know, I'm very glad you're alive and well: life would be very different without you in it. Not to mention that we would all be dead without your aid over the years."

"Ah, I think you give me too much credit," Ichigo wasn't sure how to reply to this straightforward compliment. It was kind of flustering but he appreciated it - even if he wasn't sure he deserved it. "Hey, Urahara-san.. the truth is I don't want to be considered a hero. I don't want people to thank me for saving them, because I only wanted to protect my friends and to beat Aizen. And Grimmjow pointed out to me that I also just wanted to fight." Ichigo was horrified to find that the words just kept spilling out, but he was helpless to stop them. Urahara had urged him to speak with someone all those days ago and apparently Ichigo's brain had decided Urahara was the one, as evidenced by the way he continued to ramble on.

"I feel even more guilty because I can't help but resent Soul Society although people here call me a hero. Nothing is given freely here and they'll take everything from you for the 'greater good'. I've been used more times than I can count by Shinigami, and even though I've benefited from it, none of it was actually done for me. I guess I had more important things to worry about before, but now that I'll have to live here it's all I can think about. And I can't stop hating the fact that I was punished for trying to help. They ruined something inside of me, I think. Maybe some things will fade with time but I'm not alright: I can't sleep, I can't be in the dark, I can't even be a true Shinigami because of this whole soul thing. Not to mention that I could still very well die.." He gripped a hand over his chest. This was the most he'd ever spoken about what he'd been feeling since being released, and even the stress and agitation of doing so was making the agony throb within him.

Urahara sat down to face Ichigo, his face sympathetic and serious. "A hero is not a hero because he does everything for the right reasons, Kursosaki-san, and certainly not because he expects to be called one. It does not matter what reasons you had to fight, only the results count. You are right when you say that Soul Society will always think of itself first, but the Gotei 13 harbor no ill-will towards you, Kurosaki-san _._ It is quite the opposite. What happened to you was not the will of Soul Society, but due to a chamber of men who were unstable in their position and acted in fear and weakness. Any man would be scarred staying in such a terrible place, but I have no doubt that you will push through. You have never been alone, even while you were locked away. Maybe you will never be the same, but being different than you were is perhaps not the worst thing in the world if you can grow stronger from your experiences."

Ichigo considered that and searched the other man's eyes for any sense that he was placating or manipulating him. There was nothing but clear honesty there. He released his tenseness is a long slow breath and relaxed his shoulders. "Maybe you're right. Being weak is uncomfortable for me though. I've only ever wanted to be strong, I guess. It's hard to not recognize yourself."

There was a brief silence and then Urahara tapped his fan to his lips contemplatively. "When I'd heard you were in that prison for so long, Kursosaki-san, I was rather worried about what it would have turned you into. Even speaking to you directly after I found you I could tell you were very different from the old Kurosaki Ichigo. But I'm always pleased to find out that you exceed expectations. Your inner strength never falters even when _you_ do. Your enforced solitude has, unbelievably, made you grow instead of ruining you, even if it is hard to see while you are still coming to grips with everything. I can promise you that I'm speaking the truth on this matter, however."

He raised his eyes to meet the other man's, brown connecting with gray. He nodded to show his appreciation and acknowledgment, because he wasn't sure he could speak right now. He was such a girl. But his heart felt lighter than it had in over two years.

 _Gonna start dating now, King?_

 _..Shut up._

* * *

The next day was hectic. Urahara had first talked with Captain Ukitake, Kurotsuchi Mayuri, and Unohana-san to confirm a few things. Then he had sent a message to Gramps with his findings, along with the identity of the man who had caused Ichigo's current situation. The reaction had been immediate. They had been summoned to a meeting for the Captains, the man in question, and the head judge of Central 46. And of course, Ichigo had to show up, which was going to be awkward beyond belief.

 _Do not let yourself be agitated by these men Ichigo. Keep a calm and steady heart._

 _..Or you could just kill 'em and get it over with. Guys not only sealed ya, but they tried to kill ya as well. If they get away with it, let me out and I'll make sure the last thing ya do is get revenge!_

 _I appreciate the support guys. Well, Zangetsu's at least._

 _Hey!_

It was a very tense atmosphere in the meeting room of the First Division. Ichigo wasn't the only one in the spotlight this time, thank god. He was lined up opposite the Captain-Commander along with Urahara and the two men under judgment, while the Captains lined the sides of the room as always. The man that Urahara had worked with was a burly man, eyes cold and hard in his angular face. He was an imposing guy, but Ichigo didn't remember him from his trial at all. He was unsettled that he couldn't even place the man who had started all of this.

The old man tapped his cane on the gleaming floorboards to call a start to the proceedings. "We have called you all here because there has been a breakthrough in the matter of Kurosaki Ichigo."

Ichigo glanced down the line, past Urahara to the other two men. They were definitely sweating. Having called only these two members of Central 46 here, they must already know what this was about. As Ichigo was gazing at them, he felt his throat tickle ominously. _Shit._ He really hoped he didn't start coughing here.

"Captain Urahara, if you would explain?"

Urahara gave a short nod. His yellow-toned hair shone in the bright lights, since he didn't usually wear his hat when standing before his superior. Ichigo knew it was somewhere on his person, however. He'd been chained to Urahara for so long now that he knew the other man _way_ too well.

"We have found what we believe to be the cause of Kurosaki-san's illness since his release from the Central 46 imprisonment rooms. To be brief, we determined that the piece of soul that was sealed in an attempt to draw out his powers had been tampered with during its unsealing. This was most likely in the hope that he would die without actually dirtying any hands."

There was a sound of protest from the head judge, but a glare from Gramps silenced him instantly.

"The issue was discovering exactly what had been done. Kurosaki-san provided the clue, actually. This foreign object is being affected by his reiatsu constantly, so we surmised that it had to be in contact with his Saketsu and Hakusui. There are very few things that can affect these, however."

"I see." Kurotsuchi's odd voice sounded from down the line. "Your little failed experiment with the Chain of Fate then?"

Ichigo goggled at the man, and caught the sudden jerk of Urahara's former colleague at such a bang-on answer out of the corner of his eye. "You really memorized all of Urahara-san's experiments? You must like him after all!"

This caused a few Captains to chortle and Kurotsuchi's face grew red with anger. Whoops, he hadn't meant to say that out loud. The Captain-Commander held up a hand to silence them all and motioned for Urahara to continue.

He went in-depth into what his experiment had entailed, and why it had to be the cause of Ichigo's decline. Ichigo listened with half an ear, focused more on the reactions of the other occupants of the room. He saw that a few Captains were troubled or shocked, and the two men from Central 46 looked as if they were about to pass out. Served them right.

He caught Hirako's eye and shrugged at the troubled look he was receiving. He knew the Visored would be feeling kinda responsible right now, because he'd come to Soul Society to thwart rogue Shinigami's schemes and still Ichigo had been screwed over while he'd been unsealed. Having someone he'd trained be used in such a way would cause some guilt, he guessed, but he should know better than to feel that way. He gave a half-grin to the man to hopefully to convey those thoughts. His wide mouth reluctantly curved into an answering smirk and Ichigo nodded in thanks. He'd had enough of people, himself included, taking on unnecessary remorse. The men that Ichigo was in line with were the ones that should be feeling this way, but he figured that was unlikely.

Ichigo, on the other hand, didn't really know how to feel about what was happening. To be honest, while justice was important, he wasn't into this as much as he should be. That was because even if they got the guys who'd fucked him over so royally, he still had to fix what they'd done if he wanted to live. They might be sentenced for their actions, but if Ichigo was dead then he'd only ensured they wouldn't be able to do this to anyone else. While that was important, he was more interested in the _survival_ aspect of the whole thing right now. Maybe that was selfish but he couldn't bring himself to care all that much with a guillotine hanging over his head.

The silence in the room registered and he refocused in case they had asked him a question or something. Luckily it seemed they were considering what Urahara had shared with them. Gramps turned his gaze to the accused and his gravelly voice broke the lull.

"What do you have to say for yourself, Imata Soujou?"

Ah, so that was the guys name. To Ichigo's surprise, when he replied his voice was raised in defiant rage rather than the fear he'd shown previously. These guys weren't the type to take responsibility, apparently.

"I unsealed the prisoner's soul under the watch of Captain Ukitake, but I admit to nothing else. You have no proof whatsoever that this is not just an elaborate set-up by a desperate criminal and his accomplice, Urahara Kisuke, a man who has been banished by Central 46 once before!" His voice was belligerent and hostile as he spat out his defense.

The head judge nodded in agreement. "This entire farce is ridiculous. We should be thanked for sealing the Substitute Shinigami! Are you all so afraid of this child that you won't stand with Central 46? You know it was the right thing to do! If he is dying, then just let him die!"

Several Captains shook their heads at the over-zealous men before them, Hirako visibly sneering in disgust. Ichigo could only stare at these people who hated him so much for no real reason that he could understand. He felt his heartbeat rising and grimaced as pinpricks of pain signaled an incoming tide. Damn. He hadn't had a serious attack in awhile since it had been relatively quiet, but it was no surprise that hearing these men speak about him like this was causing his reiatsu to ripple enough to effect him. He tamped down on his increasing urge to cough and fought to pay attention.

Toushiro's low voice was issuing from the left, ice-blue eyes cold. "We are not required to agree with the decisions of Central 46, though I think we can all agree that you have no leg to stand on in regards to what you've done. You have heard the opinions of the Gotei 13 on what occurred after the Winter War already. The matter at hand is of Kurosaki Ichigo's current affliction and its cause. It's safe to say that none of us are opposing you in fear of someone who is _that_ ill." He emphasized by gesturing to Ichigo, who could feel his eye twitch at the blatant dismissal.

"Yeah, look at the kid. He can barely stand, and you're sayin' we're _scared_ of the brat? Ha!" Kenpachi speaking up in a meeting was sure a surprise, but Ichigo knew he hated men like these above all else because they were weak in every way except for their political power. He also knew that Kenpachi was needling Ichigo in pure amusement.

"Oi, we all know that Central 46 likes ta' cover up their mistakes, of which there are plenty, but after what happened with Aizen are ya really gonna defend yourselves like that?" Hirako scoffed. "I think the only one that thought they were doin' the right thing was _you."_ He pointed in the head judge's direction. "If the kid dies, ya think we'll just give up and let the whole thing die? If so you're gonna be in for a surprise."

"Yes, yes, poor Kurosaki Ichigo. _I_ am interested in how this man got access to the research records in _my_ records room. I do recognize him as one of the inferior assistants during the time of this experiment, but he should not have been allowed reentry." Kurotsuchi's high-handed voice sneered.

The room turned their attention back onto Imata, who was tugging on his collar agitatedly. "You have no proof that I tampered with the boy's soul, nor that I have any such documents. You have no real reason to have called me here to accuse me when there is absolutely no confirmation of a crime!"

"Ah, I thought you would say something preposterous like that. I do in fact have cameras and recording equipment throughout my entire Division. It comes in handy for such times." Kurotsuchi stared unblinkingly at the other man with disturbingly wide eyes. "I clearly place you within the records room at the same time that Urahara Kisuke began to study certain documents in Central 46, documents which led him to discover the location of the boy." He waved towards Ichigo, who clenched his teeth. He was sure the weird man was getting revenge for Ichigo's earlier comment by treating him like a child.

A few murmurs broke out. Imata looked flummoxed for a moment, before he smiled slightly. "Yes, I was there around that period of time. Some old friends let me in as a favor when I required documents needed to properly examine a case we had. You can confirm this. But I did not take any documents to do with Urahara Kisuke's research!"

This guy had an answer for everything. Ichigo just shook his head in disbelief. He felt bad for the 'friends' who had helped him though; Kurotsuchi's smile was promising vengeance for sullying his precious lab in such a way. Ichigo tucked his face into his elbow when a brief rattling cough escaped him, ignoring the looks he garnered.

"It is true that there is nothing we can do without proof that you took those particular documents." Captain-Commander Yamamoto's said in a steely voice. "That is why I worked with Captain Urahara, among others, to find that proof. I grew tired of dealing with the members of our esteemed council acting in such an unscrupulous way."

The room fell silent at a knock on the meeting room's double doors. A moment later Renji entered, immediately bowing as was custom. Ichigo was shocked to see him there but he belatedly remembered that Renji had been in charge of combing through Central 46.

The fiery-haired Shinigami stalked across the polished floor towards Gramps, handing him a plain beige file. Then he stood respectfully off to the side at attention, waiting to be called upon. It was always odd to see such a rough guy show this much decorum. It was going to be really tedious if they wanted _him_ to act like that all the time.

The old man opened the folder and perused the contents before looking at the man in question. "Imata Soujou, how would you like to explain the presence of this file in your office? These are the research notes of Urahara Kisuke on the Chain of Fate project."

The man's mouth was hanging open. He snapped it shut and waved unsteadily at the sheaf of papers. "You cannot be serious. I'm being framed here! You can't tell me you actually found those in my office.. That's too convenient! You could have just brought a copy here yourselves. I've been saying this entire time: where is the _proof_?" His voice had risen in a shout.

Renji cleared his throat, a sharp grin in place. "I followed proper procedure and recorded my entire search of Central 46 with a hidden camera that I got from the Research bureau. It gave live feed of my entire process, including the recovery of those notes, and was being viewed constantly by the proper authority. There is no doubt that I found them inside a hidden compartment in the desk of Imata Soujou."

The man spluttered incredulously, face going purple in his agitation. Even the head judge inched away from him, as if he knew it was hopeless. Or.. maybe for another reason? This Imata guy really did look shocked.

"This-this can't be. I did not put that file in my desk! I'm being framed here, I tell you!" His voice was shaking now, no longer defiant.

Renji's grin widened until he looked kind of feral. "Where is the proof? All evidence points to you."

Though Ichigo couldn't help but feel a vindictive satisfaction, he was distracted when another cough bubbled up. He also muffled this as best as he could. Urahara leaned slightly closer to murmur in a voice only Ichigo could hear. "Are you alright, Kurosaki-san?" Ichigo nodded tersely.

Meanwhile, Imata's cold eyes were frantic as they bounced around the room, finally settling on his superior. He narrowed them when he saw something in the head judge's face and seemed to come to a conclusion. "Okay, okay! I fabricated one more artificial soul using Urahara Kisuke's research, and I tampered with Kurosaki Ichigo's soul." He jabbed a finger at the man beside him. "But I only did it on _his_ orders, and _he_ must have copied the file to throw all suspicion onto me in case we were caught. I destroyed that file immediately after I was finished! I would not knowingly leave evidence of my guilt lying around. I may have agreed with him that killing the kid was the right course of action, but I only acted when he told me to!"

"What are you saying Imata? How dare you try to throw your guilt onto me?!" The two men began arguing heatedly, a few murmurs from the Captains adding to the noise. Along with the laughter of Kenpachi and snide commentary from Kurotsuchi.

In the midst of the noise, Ichigo felt rage begin to boil within him and his reiatsu fluttered slightly- though he was too absorbed in his thoughts to notice. He also ignored Zangetsu's words of caution and Hichigo's maniacal laughter due to the excitement and Ichigo's own growing ire.

They were playing 'pass-the-blame' to save their own asses, not even giving a shit that they'd done all of this to him? He didn't get people who felt no remorse for their actions. How the hell could they think that any of this was alright? This kind of hate wasn't even for the sake of Soul Society, it was-

His inner tirade was cut off when excruciating pain speared through him and he was forced to double over, clutching at his chest. _Fuck._ His groan was lost in the din of the room, though he felt Urahara's steady hand grip his shoulder, his grasp just shy of painful. A series of coughs exploded from him in harsh barks, and he hurriedly slapped a hand over his mouth to catch the now-familiar spray of crimson. _Uh oh._ That felt like more blood than usual.

He was unaware that the room had quieted as he continued to hack and cough, straining for air. He felt crimson leak past his fingers, splattering over the floor and trailing up his arm. He was vaguely aware of movement but couldn't focus his streaming eyes or hear through the buzzing in his ears. He was sure Urahara was the only thing keeping him upright.

As gray started filling the edges of his vision Ichigo felt more hands on him trying to do.. something.. but an unprecedented wave of torment slammed into him, and he felt his knees hit the floor as a torrent of blood escaped in a final cough to paint the floorboards red.

One of the last things he remembered was the hard ridge of a shoulder in his stomach and the dizzying whirl of the room as he was moved. Then he thankfully passed the hell out.


	7. Ready

Chapter 7 is finally here, sorry for the long wait! My boyfriend has been off work so I've been spending some quality time with him _and_ I've started my work contract again so I've been really busy! But I'll be writing a ton this week so the next chapter won't take nearly as long!

Cinniomon: as for the head judge's name, I kind of wanted to leave him nondescript. To keep him as someone who's so powerful that Ichigo doesn't even know his name but had such an impact on his life. I may still put his name in at the very end! Undecided at the moment. Thank you for all of your questions. And thanks for everyone's kind reviews, and the follows/favourites/reads. It's an awesome feeling!

Anyways I made this chapter a little longer.. I hope you guys enjoy! ^^

* * *

The first thing Ichigo was aware of was his pounding head. He drew in a testing breath, wincing slightly at the searing burn in his lungs. Why did he feel so messed up?

He cracked open brown eyes, squinting in the bright rays of sunlight falling across his face. He slowly brought one hand up to shield himself, disconcerted at the energy it took just to do that. When the sun wasn't in danger of blinding him he glanced around sluggishly. He was lying in a sparse bed, a white sheet pulled up to his chest. He immediately saw Zangetsu was gripped loosely in his other hand and frowned in confusion. This looked like an infirmary, he realized, taking in the white walls and bland decor. What had happened? He _must_ be pretty out of it; his head definitely felt like it was filled with fog.

 _Awake at last, Ichigo?_

Ichigo groaned when the voice in his head ramped up the pain. He chose to ignore it as he pushed up slightly so that he wasn't flat on his back. He huffed with the effort, but he made it. Barely.

 _Yeah. Apparently. What's going on?_

 _You fainted like a girl, King! Little bit of coughin' and you keeled right over, all covered in blood. Sure shocked all those tight asses though! 'Bout time you woke up, you've been sleepin' forever._

Ichigo grunted, too exhausted to carry on a conversation with his hollow. He braced his shaking arms and managed to sit mostly upright, though he was slumped against the uncomfortable headboard. He searched his memory and remembered the meeting with.. Imata - that was it. He'd started coughing and the pain had been worse than ever before. Damn, he really must have fainted.

 _I remember they were arguing and I started coughing. That's pretty much it._ He directed this towards Zangetsu since his voice was at least soothing.

 _The others were seemingly shocked at how advanced your condition was. Unohana Retsu ordered the shopkeeper to bring you to the Fourth Division to be treated. I believe the Captain-Commander also sent along your friend, Abarai Renji._

 _Oh. I wonder what happened at the meeting.. How long have I been here, anyways?_

 _It seems when you are rendered unconscious we cannot see the outside world. If you hold any bit of consciousness, or are sleeping very lightly, then we can still do so, but that was not the case this time._

Ichigo nodded vaguely, lost in thought. There was really only one thing he could focus on right now. _I guess this means my time is up, huh?_

 _I fear you are correct. The void increased significantly after this last episode._

Great. _Hey, Zangetsu, you've been keeping an eye on things in there right?_

 _Yes, as much as possible. What are you thinking, Ichigo?_

Ichigo gazed up at the ceiling as he mulled it over. _That depends. Have you noticed anything about the void at all?_

 _If you mean to ask if I've noticed anything strange, then yes. The artificial soul within you seems to be going through the Encroachment process exactly as you did, and as I assume all souls do. But it is also eating tiny amounts of your soul in the process, which is different._

His eyes widened and an idea began forming within his mind. _How do you know?_

 _You can at times see the void widen while hearing the sounds of digestion. I believe that when it is devouring itself is when you experience the most pain. They seem to correlate._

 _Yeah, I bet. Thanks Zangetsu._ This changed a lot of things, if what he was thinking was right.

 _I see where your train of thought is going, Ichigo, and I agree with your assessment. It may be our best chance._

Ichigo nodded to himself. He'd need to think about it a bit more and ask Urahara-san, but it was looking pretty good. _Well then, I'd better go find out what's going on. It's not like they can heal what's wrong with me here, and the sooner I resolve this the better. Also, considering what happened the last time I was left alone here.._

Ichigo didn't receive any complaints so he levered himself up to sit on the side of the bed. He was wearing his Shinigami uniform still, thankfully, so he couldn't have been unconscious too long. He twisted around, ignoring the now ever-present discomfort to look out the window. The sun was beginning to sink in the sky, the warm pink and orange hues of dusk creeping upwards to meet it. He'd been out almost all day then.

He took down his hair from its ragged tail, combing his fingers through it slowly. Then he retied the leather thong to keep the ends back and pushed his bangs off to the side. He also grabbed the unpleasantly warm glass of water beside the bed to clear the copper tang from his mouth. He felt somewhat human again so he settled his socked feet solidly on the icy floor and pushed upwards.

Ichigo's head seemed to slowly revolve once before it steadied. He carefully took stock, then shrugged. As good as it was going to get. He moved gingerly towards the door, ignoring the spikes of discomfort within him, and opened it as quietly as he could. He jumped at the sudden exclamation beside him.

"Holy shit, Ichigo! I didn't know you were awake!" Renji was glaring at him and Ichigo's lips twitched with amusement. Flustering his friend never got old.

He cleared his throat to clear its hoarseness before replying. "Yo, Renji. Sorry to scare you."

The other man spluttered. "You couldn't scare me that easily, Strawberry-head. Just warn a guy next time before you just appear like that."

Ichigo rolled his eyes, though the stab of pain behind them told him that was a bad idea. "Yeah, yeah. So what happened to the meeting? What's going on?"

Renji blew out a breath. "Let's go back inside. Captain Urahara ordered me to stay here with you until he returned or sent for you. He was needed at the meeting, which turned into an all-day event."

Ichigo grimaced but complied. He really hated hospitals, even though his dad ran a clinic. Maybe it was _because_ he did. Who knew. He eased into a stiff-backed chair by the open window, enjoying the cool breeze. No way was he getting back in that bed.

He waited until Renji seated himself in the only other chair before raising an eyebrow at him.

Renji scowled but began to recount what he knew. Which wasn't much since it was a closed-door meeting. He'd only gotten a report that Imata Soujou had been taken to be thoroughly interrogated by Captain Urahara and the Second Division so that they could learn more about what he had done with Urahara's research.

The other man scratched at his crimson hair. "They're hoping to find some way to fix you with more information, I think. Then Captain Urahara returned to the meeting with Central 46's head. That's been going on awhile, but there's no way to prove who did what since there are no cameras in Central 46. Must be a tedious meeting."

Ichigo nodded absently, idly tracking a Hell Butterfly as it swooped past the window. "I figured as much. I doubt they'll get anywhere despite the long talks. They'll definitely do something to Central 46 since they sealed me, but it's been over two years since then and Soul Society can't afford to disband all of them or anything drastic like that. So they'll probably just get rid of the head, since it was ultimately his call to seal me away, and appoint a new one that the Gotei 13 personally chooses. Imata will end up taking the fall for what they did with my soul." Ichigo blew out a tired breath, unable to stop the slight wince.

Renji cleared his throat so Ichigo sluggishly turned his gaze back to his friend. He had a weirdly serious expression on his face. If Ichigo had to guess he would say it was a scolding look. A moment later it turned out he was right.

"Why didn't you say something, Ichigo? What happened back there was way worse than you made us think it was. You're supposed to rely on your friends to help you out. We might not be able to fix you but we can shoulder some of the burden, you idiot. We _can't_ do that if you hide it."

Ichigo sighed. "Sorry. It's not like I didn't want to tell you, and you guys _have_ been helping me just by being around. But.." He twisted his mouth as he deliberated how to put it. "I'm dying. There's no way around that. There's a good chance I won't see the other side of this, despite the breakthroughs of the last few days. You guys have your own responsibilities to deal with, and I've been back in the free world for less than three weeks: I didn't want whatever time I had left to spend with you guys to be filled with sad looks and walking on eggshells, you know?"

Renji slumped in his chair, glowering sullenly at Ichigo. "I get it, but man, this sucks. You better not die, Ichigo. I'm gonna be pissed if you kick the bucket right after we finally got you back. We can't let those bastards win, ya hear me?"

Ichigo gave his sharp-edged friend a crooked grin. "I hear you. I'm gonna go out fighting if it turns that way, but I'll do everything I can to stop it."

Renji's forceful nod seemed to seal the agreement.

They passed the next hour or so in casual conversation, too tense to do much else. The sun continued to sink past the rooftops across from the windows of the infirmary. As time continued to slip away, Ichigo found himself alternating between drumming his fingers on the arm of the chair and rubbing at his burning chest. He wished they would hurry up, damn it. There really wasn't that much to talk about, was there?

Finally a Hell Butterfly glided through the open window and went directly to Renji, who raised one long finger to catch it. They exchanged a serious look before wordlessly getting to their feet. The time had come. It looked like Ichigo was being summoned, rather than Urahara coming to retrieve him.

As they walked down the hallway of the Fourth Division barracks they really didn't have anything to say at all now. Ichigo was actually breaking out in a sweat just from this slow trek. His body really _was_ breaking down. He ignored the searching looks he was getting from Renji and just concentrated on not stumbling or passing out again. Yeah, he was done with fainting in front of Shinigami.

Along the way, Ichigo again took the time to gaze at his surroundings. It was kind of beautiful here at dusk, when the calming hues of the setting sun reflected off the blue tile and white marble. He was beginning to think that it might not be _so_ bad to live here for eternity if he could find a way to survive all of this. Maybe he didn't know what he'd do here, but he had time to figure it out, and he had people to support and help him. Even if he just worked enough for food and spent all day training, that would be an okay life, wouldn't it? He had a few other ideas as well, ones that grew from the stem of hope that was growing within him. It seemed he was coming to terms with his situation. His feelings about Soul Society were mellowing out after having so much time over the last few weeks to just sit and think _._

But his thoughts kept revolving back to the meeting ahead. He a lot of details to consider before they arrived. He knew how most of it was going to go, but there was one big issue that Ichigo would have to carefully maneuver if he wanted it to go his way. Damn, but he was no good at planning. He couldn't think of a way to manipulate the sharp minds in that room. He would just have to do what he always did: speak honestly and hope they understood where he was coming from.

It took longer than it should have to reach the towering double doors of the First Division's meeting room, because Ichigo's mortifying speed at the moment was stuck firmly on 'slow'. They paused, exchanging a somber look. Ichigo gave his friend a weary smirk. "Thanks for the escort, Pineapple-head. I'm not sure whats going to happen in here, but I'll try to see you and Rukia before.. well, just before."

Renji looked away, tattooed brows furrowed. "Make sure ya do, Ichigo. Rukia will bitch at me for eternity if I didn't call her over to see you."

Ichigo's mouth softened into a smile. He clapped the red-haired Shinigami on the shoulder once, forcefully, and waited until he raised his gaze. "Don't worry so much, Renji. I've beaten odds worse than this in the past, haven't I?"

The other man's wide, pointed grin appeared again, sending a fissure of relief through Ichigo. It stressed him out even more when his friends looked defeated. "Yeah, you're a reckless guy. But it works for you. Send word after this and we'll get together.. I'm guessing that the big stuff is going to go down tomorrow."

Ichigo nodded, feeling guilty about keeping the truth from his friend. It wasn't like they could get into it right now though. He waved to the two guards posted by the doors. They each grasped a brass handle and pulled the heavy doors open enough that Ichigo could enter. He grasped a hand briefly on Zangetsu's hilt to steady himself then strode inside, trying not to look as shitty as he felt.

* * *

The room instantly went silent at the sound of the doors opening. Ichigo inwardly cringed when every pair of eyes rested on him as he slowly entered the meeting room. He straightened his aching shoulders in defiance of his weakness and walked forward to stand in his usual place opposite Gramps.

He made sure to make eye contact with Urahara, giving him a fleeting smile in reassurance. The other man didn't really look relieved and Ichigo tensed reflexively. Maybe something was happening here he wasn't aware of? He'd been confident about how the meetings over the day would have gone. Or maybe Urahara was aware of just how bad off Ichigo was at the moment. That was more likely, since it was taking all of his strength just to stay standing tall and straight. He really just wanted to lay down in Urahara's underground research room, the only place he could rest somewhat peacefully. Ichigo had a feeling he wouldn't get to relax any time soon though.

The old man's gnarled cane tapped once in the silent room. "Kurosaki Ichigo, I regret to pull you from the Fourth Division so soon. However there are matters to discuss. We have reached a deliberation of the matters of Central 46 and Imata Soujou. There is also the issue of your physical condition and what must happen next."

"Ah," Ichigo rubbed the back of his head, averting his gaze when attention focused on him once more. "I'm not really sure of the proper way to talk here or anything, but I figure you already know that.." There were a few chuckles of agreement in the room which loosened his shoulders somewhat.

He met the Captain-Commander's eyes head on and shrugged slightly at the inscrutable look he was receiving. The old guy was really hard to read, so Ichigo just went ahead with what he wanted to say. He'd been thinking over this a lot on the long walk from the Fourth Barracks and he'd made a few decisions. The most important of which: he _did not_ want to spend the rest of his short lifespan in another goddamned meeting here.

 _Amen, King! All these Shinigami like to do is yap all day long. No wonder they all got hard-ons to go to battle if this is their everyday life! I'd want to shed blood too if I was stuck doin' this all day. Makes me feel kinda sorry for 'em._

Well, Ichigo couldn't really argue there. Soul Society's customs were tedious and unfair at the best of times. He focused on what he really wanted to say and directed it to the leader of the Gotei 13.

"Whatever you've decided about Central 46 is fine. I don't need to know." He shrugged at a few of the incredulous faces around the room. "I know your hands are tied on a lot of it so you probably only got rid of the head judge and Imata. But even just getting rid of those guys will make a big difference there; I think all they really need is a strong leader. So I don't need you to explain what you've decided here or what's going to happen with them. I might want justice, but after thinking about it I'm not sure what kind of justice you could even deal out, or what kind of retribution I was expecting. When it comes down to it I'm just the Substitute Shinigami, right? There's not a lot that can be done on my behalf and I'm okay with that, I think. I've always been an outsider here and they acted how they thought was best back then, even if no one agreed with them. So as long as Central 46 has a new leader, I consider that enough of a consequence for what they did."

 _At least one of us is satisfied. Just so ya know, King, I don't agree at all!_

 _Yeah yeah, I knew you wouldn't be. But it's for the best. Just look forward to the battle ahead, alright?_

He took the indignant huff as a sort of reluctant agreement. Zangetsu was still staying silent, but Ichigo figured he had his reasons. His Zanpakuto wasn't required to talk to him all the time, after all. He coughed briefly at the dry tickling at the back of his throat, then refocused on the room.

Everyone was still silent, though he could see Urahara had a small smile on his face now, as did a few other Captains. The old man was tapping his fingers on his cane. His gravelly voice rolled through the room and he nodded once. "Very well, we will continue to do as we see fit on this matter. I assume you also have something to say on the matter of your soul?"

Ichigo nodded briefly, unsure if he was being chastised or not. Well, whatever. He cleared his throat to begin speaking and caught himself rubbing at his chest _again_. Damn, having such a huge tell for his state of weakness was really annoying. He clenched his traitorous hand by his side and continued to speak.

"As for pulling me out of the Fourth Barracks.. I think we all know that there's nothing that they can do for me. I only have a day or two left at best." He paused briefly at the spattering of murmurs, then looked straight at his friend. Urahara was looking a bit like he was dreading what was coming next and Ichigo figured he'd hear what the scientist thought pretty damn quickly. Going with what Zangetsu had once said, he was just going to deal the blow rather than soften it.

"I'm not sure what you guys have decided on this, but I'm going to jump into the void tonight." Ichigo tried not to wince at the protests that arose, and kept his focus on Urahara.

"Kursosaki-san, you're being too eager. I am well aware, especially after your episode earlier, that you are running out of time. But this is exactly the time _not_ to act like your usual reckless self. I need to research this a bit more to see if there is a way to exterminate the artificial soul that will not cause damage to you."

Unohana spoke up from the other side of the room, her quiet tones carrying easily over the discussions around her. "You need to rest before attempting anything, Kurosaki-san. You're in no condition to attempt something like this."

Ichigo calmly waited until the room quieted. He kept his gaze on the man that he _really_ needed to convince here. He knew that the Captain-Commander would take his word over Ichigo's, since Urahara was his chaperone right now. Even if they couldn't really stop Ichigo, he preferred to have everyone's cooperation.

"Urahara-san, we both know that no amount of rest or research is going to help. I know you want to try to find an easy solution, but there isn't going to be any answers to find out here. I'm only going to know when I go in there whether or not I can stop it. There's been no precedent for this. But this is a soul going through Encroachment, right? The process has to end at some point and judging by the state I'm in.. it's going to be any time now."

Urahara narrowed his gray eyes. It seemed that the blonde Shinigami also knew Ichigo really well after all the time they'd spent together since his release. "You've figured something out, haven't you, Kurosaki-san?"

Ichigo shrugged and tried not to squirm with the amount of direct focus that was on him. He hated being directly in the spotlight like this. He pretended he was just back in Urahara's research room, debating theories. "Well.. I think so anyway. Zangetsu said something that gave me an idea. He says that while it eats itself, it's also eating small bits of my soul. So I feel more pain during those times, which means I can tell when it's going through Encroachment. And if it's really like a normal Encroachment, then that means in the times between attacks it's weakened by it's own destruction."

Urahara's eyes brightened in intellectual interest even while his face remained in a worried frown. Kurotsuchi Mayuri spoke up from the other side of the room, drawing Ichigo's attention away. "I see. And you've actually managed to figure out when the artificial soul is in a lull, have you?"

Ichigo gritted his teeth to stop a derisive reply. He nodded briefly then turned towards Gramps to finish this off. "During the day I feel the most pain, and all of my attacks have happened then too. Even though it doesn't hurt every single day, I just had the mother of all episodes.. so I know that tonight is the best chance I have to catch the soul off-guard and enter the void without it killing me first. I have no idea what I'm going to do while I'm in there, but I think my best shot is to destroy it with my Zanpakuto. If I can get it to somehow destroy itself and leave my soul alone, then I might be able to live through it. If it self-destructs and tries to bring me down as well, then there's nothing I can do. It's a gamble, but there's really no other choice here."

The Captain-Commander made a humming sound in thought. "Although I could not stop you from entering your inner world and doing this no matter what we say, I do understand your reasoning. Do you have anymore objections, Captain Urahara?"

Urahara gave a dramatic sigh and put his hands on his hips in frustration. "No. Kurosaki-san knows his situation the best. It's a concession that he came here to let us know what he's planning to do, and to convince us otherwise. However, I would like until midnight to see if there is anything else that may help him when he enters the void." He speared Ichigo with defiant eyes.

Ichigo chuckled, muffling another jolting cough in his elbow. "It's fine with me. I have a few things to do beforehand anyways."

"And," Unohana's soft voice had a hard edge. "I insist that when you enter the void, you do so within the Fourth Barracks. We may not be able to fix you, but Captain Urahara says that any damage you sustain within your soulscape effects your body in the real world right now. Therefore we will perform healing on your body while you battle inside your soul. I trust this is satisfactory?" Her smiling face chilled him to the bone and he could only nod stupidly in agreement.

 _Oi, Ichigo. One thing before the powwow ends._

 _Really? You actually just said 'powwow'?_

 _Shut up. Shinigami are just lame enough to do something like that. Anyways, tell them somethin' for me, will ya?_

Ichigo listened to his hollow speak, trying not to raise his eyebrows at what he was hearing.

 _Yeah, I'll tell them. You're a surprising guy sometimes, Hichigo._

 _Whatever. I'm only doin' it for me and the old guy in here. And 'cause for a Shinigami, you're not too bad. Sometimes._

 _Gee, thanks._

His attention was caught when Gramps began to close the meeting. "Then you are to report to the Fourth Barracks at midnight tonight. You -" The old man's voice came to a halt when Ichigo sheepishly raised his hand to stop him. One long white eyebrow raised in bemused acknowledgment.

"Ah, sorry. It's just.. Hich- ah, I mean, my hollow wanted me to say something to you all." He waved away their shocked and disconcerted looks, especially those of Hirako and Kensei. "I don't know how much all of you know about it, and I don't really have time to get into the deal with my hollow right now, but he has a sort of request for you all – well, for Gramps, really - in case this goes badly tonight.."

There was a tense silence before the old man nodded once to show that he was at least listening. That really was the best he could hope for after saying something so outrageous.

Ichigo scratched at his cheek in embarrassment. But.. he figured he owed the beings that shared his soul to voice the request. Plus he kind of agreed with it. "The thing is, we don't know what will happen with my hollow if the artificial soul brings me down with it. He's not out of control right now, but if I'm about to die he might go berserk. So.." Ichigo paused and almost laughed at the truly bizarre looks he was receiving from the Captains. He doubted they'd ever heard anything like this. Only Urahara was unsurprised, shaking his head at Ichigo's words.

"So, he says that if things go wrong and he goes out of control that he wants the Captain-Commander to put him down. That's not to say he won't fight, but it won't really be his fault if he does. Also he'll probably enjoy finally being able to let loose but that's just because he's a hollow. Since he'll be around so many high-level Shinigami, he knows that he's not gonna live for long.. that's why he wants the leader of the Gotei 13 to deal the final blow." Ichigo knew he was blushing but this really was humiliating.

 _I hope you're happy._

 _That depends what the geezer says, stupid._

The atmosphere was so thick that Ichigo couldn't help fidgeting. It really had been a lot for Ichigo to ask for, on behalf of a hollow no less. He was about to open his mouth to take it all back, or _something_ , but the old man broke the silence, cracking open one eye to scrutinize him.

"Very well. I will consider it a favor to the man who made it possible for us to seal away Aizen Souske, even though he was only a Substitute Shinigami at the time." Ichigo's eyes widened and he really couldn't find any words to say to such a statement. The old man closed his eye and continued. "If that is all, you are all dismissed." The cane hit the floor with a resounding _crack_ and Ichigo immediately turned and headed out of the now-open doors. He walked a bit down the path and paused to take in the sight above him.

The stars were glimmering in a dizzying array of pinpricks, their cold light soothing his raw nerves. Ichigo breathed in a lungful of the fragrant spring air, even though it made him cough. Four hours until he may never see this sight again. He couldn't help but feel a pang of sadness at this sudden thought.

The familiar sounds of clogs reached him and he turned around to face Urahara, unsure what his reception would be. He'd sprung a lot of things on the guy in there, after all. He was being looked at so thoroughly he felt like an experiment. Well, truth be told, he was basically the trial version of the Chain of Fate weapon experiment wasn't he? He was kind of unsettled by that.

He cleared his throat, watching as the other Captains continued on their way, most of them shooting him some sort of odd look. Great, he'd made himself even more of an outcast hadn't he? Even with the Visored here, hollows merging with Shinigami would always be taboo. His heart felt weighed down with the burden of it all. Urahara's cheerful voice recalled his attention, though he couldn't smooth the frown from his brow. It didn't help that he felt utterly worn down and exhausted.

"Kursosaki-san, I'm a logical man. I do realize that you had no time to tell me this beforehand, and that it is the best course of action for you." Urahara sounded sort of exasperated. Ichigo made himself meet the other man's eyes. "I will, however, still do a bit of research to see if I can find anything of use."

"You and your research." Ichigo smiled slightly. "Well, I expected no less. If anyone could find something it would be you."

He watched as Urahara settled his striped hat over his blonde hair, the brim shading his eyes. Ichigo wondered if he'd embarrassed the other man somehow with his compliment. His lips wavered as he fought to keep his grin in check.

Urahara tapped his fan on his shoulder before waving him towards the Twelfth Division. "Come along then. You're still under my care until midnight, you know. And I've already told Shinji to bring the Visoreds to my underground lab. I assume you want to speak with them beforehand?"

He noticed the man was walking slower than usual as Ichigo matched his pace. Probably for _his_ benefit. Ichigo was sure his current state of health showed. Hell, he felt about twenty years older. He could feel sweat beading along his forehead and wiped at it in irritation as he replied. "Yeah, thanks. I figure I should talk with them more in depth about my hollow before I lose the chance."

He received a lengthy side-long look. "It's not like you to be so accepting of your own death, Kurosaki-san. Do you really not believe you'll live through this?"

Ichigo sighed in pure weariness. He wasn't sure what he thought, really. It was all kind of overwhelming. He scrubbed his hands over his face as he mulled over the question. "When I was in that prison and no one came for me in the first few months, I did kind of accept my own death. I'd decided to wait in my inner world until they came to put me down or I died for some other reason. I knew I wouldn't die by any natural means.. and that's another reason why I was so reluctant to live here as a Shinigami. I know what it's like to want to die but be unable to. It's a scary feeling."

Urahara nodded. "We are indeed 'gods' of death in many ways, not all of them good. I know some Shinigami grow tired of living so long."

"Yeah, I can imagine. Being human is easier, I think. You already know you're going to die and it's a part of life to prepare for it when your time gets close. Maybe that's why I'm using the next four hours as that preparation. I don't want to die, but I know I'm not likely to live.. and I'd like everyone else to be as prepared as I am. Does that make sense?"

The scientist was waving his fan in front of his face to hide his expression. Ichigo knew he did this when he was slightly uncomfortable, or when he was trying to hide something about himself. Ichigo didn't really mind. They were talking about something very personal after all.

"I do understand. I myself have made a few arrangements in the case of my death. Some Shinigami do not. Usually only those who have wealth or family, such as Captain Kuchiki, will do so." Urahara's voice had taken on a quiet contemplative tone.

"I get it." Ichigo shrugged and decided to share a bit more. "As for if I believe I'll beat this thing: I'm not really sure. I'll try my best but the artificial soul has been eating a bit of my soul this entire time. Even if I do live through it I don't know what that will mean. Maybe it's only when a soul is separated, like mine was, or when it's a significant amount that's been damaged, that a soul can't recover. I'm finding it annoying to be setting new standards for how messed up a soul can get." He smirked humorlessly. "The point is, I don't know. I feel like I can survive this. But I also feel like I'm going to be something afterward that hasn't existed before."

Urahara stopped walking to face him, his face furrowed in confusion. "What does that mean? Now is not the time to be keeping secrets."

 _Hey, hey, I thought we weren't gonna be tellin' anyone about how we can talk like this! We don't want anyone ta' know. And by 'we' I mean me and the old guy._

 _It is true that to reveal such a fact will not be met with a positive reaction. This man has proven to be a helpful ally, but he is a man driven by his curiosity. The question is whether you trust this man enough to value you over his scientific focus._

 _I trust him, but I'm not going to tell him that; at least not yet. If we die then eventually he'll still be curious enough to start experimenting, even if he does it in private. And the things this guy makes can be trouble when other people get a hold of them. If we live through this I might share it. He can probably help us figure out what it means, right? And I know if we ask him to, he'll keep his word and not do anything but research._

He noticed that Urahara was giving him that intense study again. Whoops. He had to be careful not to talk inwardly too long with other people around. He waved away the man's intense look. "I'm not sure I know what I mean, exactly. But I feel different than before I was sealed. I don't feel like a Shinigami, or a Visored, or a hollow. Definitely not like a human. Aizen changed around the soul, broke barriers between hollow and Shinigami, and even fused his soul with the Hougyoku. But my soul was just messed with, period. I won't be able to tell what that means until I'm healed."

He didn't know if Urahara believed him, but he did resume walking. It wasn't like Ichigo was outright lying. He really _did_ feel fundamentally different.

Ichigo decided to leave it alone for now. There was really nothing he could do about any of this until.. well, until after. Whenever that was. He'd found himself saying 'later' more and more often since his release, to his intense frustration. All he'd truly wanted after his release was to be free, to see the people he loved, and to regain his former strength so that he wasn't so vulnerable. So far he'd achieved none of those goals. Ichigo could feel the frown creep back over his face, until a stab of pain caused him to muffle a series of hacking coughs in his elbow.

He sighed deeply in resignation as he wiped his mouth on his sleeve. At least the deep black of his Shinigami uniform hid all the blood he'd been coughing up the last month. He shook his head at Urahara's look and kept walking. He turned his gaze up to the stars, because he'd found that they calmed him down and settled his mind when he got like this. As such he had a sudden clarity.

"Hey, Urahara-san." The other man glanced over in curiosity, maybe caught off-guard by Ichigo's tone of voice. "If someone wanted to leave a video message or something, could they do that in Soul Society?"

"Of course, that's easily done. I assume you want to record messages for those that are in the human world?" At Ichigo's nod, Urahara hummed in consideration. "You know that with Inoue Orihime's talents, we could bring her here to help with healing you tonight? I'm sure we could also bring your other two friends, Chad and Ishida Uryuu."

Ichigo rubbed his hands over his face to hide his expression. "I thought about that. But if I do die tonight then that wouldn't be fair to them. I'm sure they would call me selfish for saying this, but it would be too hard for me as well. To see them for the first time in years and then die in front of them.. I couldn't go knowing I was doing that to them. If I do live through it then I'll ask to see them, on the same pretense that Inoue's healing could help be recover more quickly, or something. So I'm going to leave messages for everyone instead, and maybe I can make them for my sisters as well. They won't know when it was recorded, right? I'll leave it to my dad to decide though. I know your life has been thrown off since I've been released, and I've asked for a lot, but-"

Urahara cut him off with an almost fond look. "I will release them if you don't make it tonight. It's not a problem, Kurosaki-san. And it's a little late for all of these apologies: you make me nervous when you don't act like your usual determined self! I myself have great hope that you'll live to see tomorrow."

Something in Ichigo's chest loosened at this. Maybe he'd just been so overwhelmed that he'd lost some faith in himself, but Urahara rarely lied. When he didn't want to tell you something he evaded the question with his usual silly antics. To say something to straightforwardly raised Ichigo's own hope a bit.

"Yeah, you're right. I won't give up."


	8. Set

Hey guys, chapter 8 is finally here!

There will be one or two more chapters and then the story is finally finished! Thanks to all of you that have stuck with it thus far.

I hope this one doesn't disappoint! This is the final set-up chapter before the climax.

* * *

Ichigo released a long breath as they came up to the Twelfth Division, as ready as he'd ever be to speak with the Visoreds. He was sure that Kurotsuchi Mayuri knew that they came here all the time to visit Urahara's lab, though Ichigo had no idea why he allowed it. Maybe he was just recording everything they were doing. That thought sent a shiver down his spine, specifically due to the talk about his hollow he'd had with his dad and Urahara, and the discussion they were about to have. He glanced at Urahara out of the corner of his eye. Urahara smiled slightly in response, shaking his head to tell Ichigo to stay silent. They descended the ladder and the low conversation below came to a halt.

The three Visoreds were positioned around the room, only Hirako sitting at the low table in the center. Hiyori looked like she was sulking by Urahara's research table, while Kensei was guarded as usual, leaning against the wall. Ichigo couldn't help but smile at their typical behavior. When they were standing at the base of the ladder Urahara turned to everyone.

"I know Kurosaki-san has a few concerns, but I can assure everyone that I have measures in place that I developed in the human world against unwanted eavesdropping. Much to Captain Kurotsuchi's unending displeasure." He chuckled from behind his fan. Ichigo's shoulder's relaxed and he nodded in thanks as he joined Hirako at the table. It seemed like the scientist thought of everything. Urahara dropped a tray of tea onto the table, standing beside Ichigo, but the room stayed silent. Ichigo exchanged a long look with Hirako, who finally broke the tension.

"Oi, Ichigo, ya look like shit." He smirked widely.

Ichigo shook his head, ignoring Hiyori's snort. "When you have something eating your soul, let's see how _you_ look."

The blonde haired man shrugged amiably, grin still in place. "Ya really surprised us at the meeting, ya know? Not the spewin' out blood and faintin' part, but the part about your hollow havin' a nice 'request' for the Captain-Commander." His eyes sharpened. "Kisuke's been tellin' us you have somethin' we should listen to about our hollows."

Ichigo glanced at Urahara, who nodded at him encouragingly before moving to his research table to begin scanning documents. Shit. Looked like he was on his own in front of three skeptical Visoreds.

"Well, I mean, it's like you heard at the meeting. My hollow and I have a new kind of relationship."

Hiyori scoffed from behind them. "You _are_ as dumb as ya look, baldy. Ain't no one becoming friends with their hollow unless their hollow is plannin' somethin'." She crossed her arms with a glare.

Ichigo rolled his eyes. Why did they have to invite her for the first talk? She was not the type to sit and listen to anything. Anytime. For any reason.

"Oi, shut up Hiyori. Let the kid talk before you go off on a rant." Kensei's low voice cut through Hiyori's muttering, successfully stopping her tirade. Ichigo gave him a terse nod in thanks.

"I guess I'll just tell it to you like I did for dad and Urahara-san." Ichigo sipped his tea briefly to quell a cough before he launched into a lengthy explanation about his new partnership with his hollow. When he finished there was a long moment of silence. The others seemed to be thinking over his words carefully. He was distracted when Hichigo spoke up loudly at the back of his mind. Luckily he stifled his automatic wince when his head pounded in response to his hollow's belligerent voice.

 _It seems like you're just gonna give away all our secrets, huh, Ichigo? You shouldn't forget that we don't see things the same way here. Even if we have a 'new relationship' or whatever, I'm only a part of that for myself. Teamin' up with a weakling like you is just the lesser of two evils. So don't get cocky here, King._

 _Hey, I'm well aware that we're never going to see eye to eye, but I'm just doing what I think is right. It's not like I ignore what you guys say, but you only want to protect yourselves and me. I can't think like that.. I want to protect everyone I care about. And it's not like the Visoreds didn't have a chance to figure this all out by themselves - I'm just giving them a head start. We have no idea if they can even do it at all._

Hichigo scoffed. _Always thinkin' of other people before yourself. That's why we can't ever get along, King. Self-sacrificin' isn't in the cards for a hollow._

 _Yeah, well, just be quiet, will you? It's too late to complain now. I bet Zangetsu doesn't think it's a bad idea._

 _Letting others know everything about you is not something that I can agree with. It causes you to be too vulnerable. However.. in this case, if they are able to coexist with their inner hollows more successfully, I believe it will become less of an issue for those in positions of power within Soul Society. For you, Ichigo, this is ideal._

 _Gah, fine, take the King's side._ Hichigo's presence faded a bit, though Zangetsu was apparently interested enough to stick around for the meeting.

He was brought back to the Visoreds around him by Hiyori's loud voice. "Oi, Kensei, can I rant _now_? Huh? Because that was the stupidest thing I've ever heard. _Talk_ to the homicidal hollows in us? The ones who just want to take us over so they can get free? Ha! What a load of crap!"

Kensei was as stalwart as usual while Hirako was scratching his head contemplatively. "It's a little hard to believe, Ichigo. I mean, if ya weren't too weak right now and it hadn't needed ya to figure out what was wrong with your soul, who's to say it wouldn't have just taken ya over right away? And that it still won't."

Ichigo tapped his fingers on the table. "He could have broken the agreement we made the second I was unsealed, before we found out about the artificial soul in me. But he didn't. He's a lot different than he used to be, because he's grown, like I told you they do. I believe that he won't do anything if I hold up my end of the bargain, which is to let him use his powers during training and battle. But I can't really convince you of all this unless I use our hollow powers, which won't happen for awhile. I really just wanted to share this with you now in case I don't get through tonight. I wanted you to at least know that there might be a new way to live with your hollow."

Kensei finally spoke up, eyes hard in his stony face. "How do you know your way is better, anyway? This has been working fine for us all of these years. If we did it your way I'd be constantly waiting for the day my hollow went back on his word and took me down."

Ichigo glared over at him. "That's not true, though, is it? It _doesn't_ work fine. It really drains you to keep something under lock and key within you. Especially if it's constantly fighting to get out. And using its power by force? That uses even _more_ of your energy. I never noticed until I was unsealed how much of a relief it was to not have to do that anymore. It felt like I took off a huge weight. Maybe you guys can't even tell how bad it is since you've been doing it for so long."

The tough man rubbed a hand over his short silver hair in thought. "I guess. I'm not trying to call you a liar or anything; it's just hard to believe that no one put forth the idea of _talking_ to it in all this time. I think that we got scared of our hollows back then, so we still are, to an extent. That pisses me off."

Hirako huffed a laugh. "As always, Kensei sums things up pretty well. I'm all for the idea of not havin' to keep my hollow in check, ya know? But I'm willin' to wait until you're healed up and can use your powers to see if this all holds true."

Hiyori nodded forcefully. "I'm not givin' mine free reign until one of these dumb-asses do first. I still think this is a shitty idea and that he's just gone nuts after goin' to prison." She jerked a thumb at Ichigo.

Urahara, who had been silent up until now doing research, protested Hiyori's comment but was interrupted when Ichigo's hoarse laughter filled the room. He clutched his sides as they ached in pure amusement, choking out an apology between chuckles.

"S-sorry, really, but she's.. she's probably onto something!" Ichigo wiped his eyes and waved off the others' startled and concerned looks as he settled himself down. "I know how crazy this all sounds." He began to cough harshly but just sipped his tea until that also stopped. He let loose a long sigh, a rueful smile of his face.

"Anyways, maybe she's right. I'm pretty sure I didn't go crazy in there, but who knows for sure. I certainly feel like I'm cracking up a bit at this point. But either way we'll find out for sure when I use my hollow powers. And if I don't make it tonight, then you can at least try to talk to yours in your soulscape and see if I was on to something, right? You're not gonna lose anything by trying."

The others were silent for a long moment before Urahara turned back to his research and Hirako sighed loudly. "Well, you're not wrong, Ichigo. And I figure ya have the right to be a little nuts after everythin'. But I do have a question for ya."

Well, this would be interesting. Ichigo doubted Hirako had ever seriously asked him anything since they'd met. The people around him just tended to do what they felt was right for him, behind the scenes. It wasn't necessarily a bad thing - if you discounted Aizen - especially when he'd been younger and didn't know much about this world. But now, after everything, he wouldn't be able to swallow people doing that anymore. He had a need to be informed about what would happen to him. Another new neurosis.

Ichigo nodded for him to go ahead, watching a speculative look come into the sly man's eyes.

"You've always been too naive and reckless, we all know that." He ignored Ichigo's weak protest. He wasn't really wrong, after all. Ichigo had had too much time to reflect on his past mistakes. "But I wanna know why ya trust your hollow so much after everythin' he put ya through. I woulda' thought you'd have at least _some_ doubts about all of this."

Ichigo idly tapped his fingers on the tabletop, ignoring the four sets of eyes resting on him. It was an interesting question, one he'd never really bothered to think about in-depth. Usually he just went with his gut on things like this. While he might have been naive back then, he'd always known if he could put all of his trust in someone. Thinking back now, he'd definitely been frightened of his hollow taking over before the Visoreds had made him confront it and control it. But it had been a long time since then and he'd had some time to reflect on that time when the Arrancar had begun to show up and shake up his life so completely. If he had to give an answer now..

"Honestly? I had time while I was sealed away to think - more than I'd ever wanted to. I would just sit and think about everything that happened in my life, everything I did or said. And I came to realize something: the times my hollow came the closest to taking me over were the times when I was out of my depth in a fight and in danger because of it. This body is his body too. We're not the same species, but he coexists as best he can here along with my Zanpakuto and I. For an independent hollow to have to live with an equally independent Shinigami, who are natural enemies, is nearly impossible. But he wanted to take over because he was the strongest and had the best chance to survive against the increasingly stronger enemies that kept popping up. So he would try to take over in the middle of battle to ensure _our_ survival. And because he wanted to fight.. but that's just a hollow for you."

The others were sort of wide-eyed by this point. Ichigo shrugged, muffling another grating hack in his elbow. "Anyways, after my hollow and I talked, like I told you, I realized something else: he's bored. Spending all of your time shut away in someone else's soul, when you have the opportunity to run things – to be the King, so to speak – it's obvious what they would choose since we choose the same. It's not our fault that the hollow is a part of us now, but it's not their fault either. Even though Aizen should bear all of the guilt we seem to blame our hollows for everything instead. We say things like 'they tried to take me over' or 'the only way to live with them is to force them under our control'. But we're misunderstanding things here.. our hollows aren't thinking anything like what we are. _They're_ thinking 'I'm the strongest, so I should take over so we can survive' or 'why should I be the one who is subjugated here?'. We want our hollows to bend to our wills while not taking the time to even understand the reasoning and motives our hollows actually have. I found that when I thought about it this way, we Shinigami actually seem like the villains."

Their mouths were open now. Ichigo didn't know if anything he was saying made any kind of sense to anyone other than himself, but oh well. "I'm sure you're tired of me going on about hollows, so just one last thing. Hichigo and I sparred every other day for over a year and we both grew stronger even while thinking we were doomed. Spending so much time with him, I could see him change slightly. We both mellowed out a bit and came to an agreement through some of our talks - and arguments - in the off-chance that we ever got out of that prison. So even if my soul wasn't totally fucked up right now, I _still_ believe that he'd keep his word. Because if we're not fighting one another for control, and both work together to be stronger and keep _our_ body alive, then we're more powerful than either of us by ourselves. So.. that's it. Trust is a mutual thing here, and I don't have any reason not to have faith in our new partnership."

There was a tense silence before Hirako began to snicker. Urahara's chuckles erupted from the other side of the room and Kensei had a smile on his face. Hiyori was frowning slightly. And Ichigo was sitting there bemusedly, wondering what it was that he'd said. Was it all really so strange?

 _It was well spoken, Ichigo._

 _A 'King' is supposed to be good at speeches. Ain't he, Ichigo?_

 _I'm not making a speech here. I may want them to believe me, but there's nothing bad that will happen if they don't trust what I say. And it goes to show that we aren't exactly as opposed to one another as it seems, eh, Hichigo._

 _Once in awhile you say somethin' not completely idiotic._ He ignored Ichigo's splutters of indignation. _But never think I'm just gonna follow along with what ya say. Shinigami and hollows will never be friends._

 _Yeah, yeah._

Hirako passed a hand over his bright cap of hair as his laughter died down. "Sorry, sorry. It's just, you're a really surprisin' kid, Ichigo. And I feel as crazy as you do now, 'cause that actually made a hell of a lot of sense."

Ichigo could feel his eyes widen slightly in disbelief. Maybe he really had gotten through? It looked like being bluntly honest was working for him lately. "Really?"

Kensei grunted, lifting one combat boot to rest on the wall behind him. "If what you've been saying here is true, then I can't believe we haven't tried it before. Oi, Kisuke, how does this kid understand hollows so well? Can't believe he's become the authority in this place, with you and that creep Kurotsuchi livin' here."

Urahara laughed nervously from behind his waving fan. "Now now, it makes sense that Kurosaki-san would have the most insight after talking one-on-one with a hollow for years. But I was just as surprised as you are. I believe he's telling the truth: to the point where I'm scrapping years of research."

Ichigo couldn't help the grin that spread across his face. He shared an amused look with Hirako. Even Hiyori looked like she wanted to smile.. but he supposed anything that was at Urahara's expense would be funny for the Lieutenant.

Hirako tapped the table. "You've given us a lot to think about, Ichigo. But I know ya have better things to do than talk to us all night." He stood up and stretched before resting his hand lightly on the hilt of his sword. The other two Visoreds straightened up as well. "We'll be there later on tonight, though not in the room with ya. Good luck tonight, Ichigo. Hope ya don't die." He grinned broadly, and Ichigo couldn't help answering his smile.

He nodded at the other two as they left then dropped his pounding head onto his hands, elbows resting on the table. God he was so tired. But he had more important things to do than rest right now.

* * *

As if reading his mind, Urahara's voice came from directly beside Ichigo. He hadn't even heard him walk across the room in those clogs. He didn't bother raising his head, just tilted it to the side to blearily squint at him with one eye.

"Kursosaki-san, if you quickly record the videos you wish to, then you will have time to rest briefly before speaking with your other friends. I insist that you do. Seeing that you feel pain here when you're injured in your soulscape, logic dictates that you will feel this exhaustion and pain when you go there tonight. This is dangerous enough, isn't it?"

His gray eyes were calm and serious as they shared a long look. Ichigo scrubbed at his face before rising unsteadily. "Yeah, you're right, Urahara-san. I'll go in the next room and record them now."

Ichigo walked slowly into the adjoining room, settling himself in the lone chair Urahara set in front of the large screen. It reminded him of the one that they'd used to speak with Gramps after Inoue's disappearance to Hueco Mundo. Urahara briefly explained how to start and stop the recorder before he retreated quietly. The door closed with a soft _snick_ behind him.

Ichigo nervously drummed his fingers on his thigh, trying not to over-think what he wanted to say to everyone. But he was short on time – in more than a few ways – so he just did what he did best. He spoke what was on his mind as openly as he could.

As he began to record the first video to Goat-face, he felt odd. Like a part of him was floating above his body watching this bizarre scene. He was actually here in Soul Society, in a secret underground lab, leaving in-case-of-death videos for his friends and family. After being released from a horrible prison after more than two years. And a few hours away from finding out if he was going to die. It was morbidly hilarious if you thought about it, but somehow he didn't really feel like laughing.

Ichigo inwardly shook his head at himself and focused on what he was saying to his dad instead. As usual his thoughts were running rampant, and not in a pleasant way. That seemed to be a new trait of his that he really disliked.

In no time he was sitting in front of a dark console as he stopped the final messages. They had been somewhat short, but really he had just told his friends about his situation and wished everyone well. He'd also apologized to his sisters in their message.. he'd really felt like he needed to do that.

Ichigo sat there, unable to make himself move from the chair. It felt like he was weighed down by an unimaginable burden. Maybe it was because he was so exhausted, both mentally and physically, or maybe because he was actually extremely nervous about what would happen at midnight. He couldn't tell precisely what felt so heavy right now, but his heart thudded thickly in his anxiousness.

He jumped when the door made a loud click in the silent room. The former shopkeeper stood silhouetted in the doorway, much like the day he'd been unsealed. Ichigo shut his eyes and clapped his hands on to his cheeks with a loud slap, then wordlessly he forced himself to stand. He was _not_ giving up and he _would_ push through this. Everything would be better on the other side.

Ignoring Urahara's inscrutable look, he went to his normal corner to nap in. Urahara immediately began to go over his notes, knowing that the shuffle of paper and the scratching of pencil helped Ichigo to rest. His eyes prickled at the comfort of having someone who knew you so well.

Add being a crybaby to his list of new neuroses he hated.

He let his heavy eyelids slip shut and drifted off into a light doze. Though in a sort of twilight, too keyed up for a true deep sleep, his mind flashed dark images and scenes. Everything was blurred and indistinct. Out of these shadows an oily black tentacle appeared, coiling sinuously. It looked too real and he felt his heartbeat pick up when it slowly slid closer to him. Before Ichigo could move, it speared straight through him in a painful stab. He found himself looking into something terrifying at the other end..

Ichigo shot upright with a gasp, hand coming up to pat his chest. No injury or blood.. so just a dream. But too realistic for comfort, damn it. His breaths shuddered in and out as he clasped a shaking hand to his forehead, the other snaking out to loosely grasp Zangetsu. By this point Hichigo and Zangetsu were used to his nightmares and sudden awakenings, so they left him alone for the most part. They weren't the only one's who'd learned how to handle him when he slept badly.

Without looking, he addressed the shopkeeper who was surely staring at him. "How long did I manage to sleep?" He asked hoarsely.

His head jerked up a moment later when, instead of Urahara's mellow tones, Renji's exotic voice drifted over. "Who knows? We just got here."

"Renji!" His red-haired friend was seated at the low table, sipping tea. Urahara's research bench was suspiciously empty. Then his brain caught up. "Wait, 'we'?"

"Forget about me already, Ichigo?" Rukia's low voice drew his gaze to the other side of the chamber.

"Like that could happen. Just kind of out of it, you know?" He was glad Urahara had called them, despite his intense need for privacy in the face of his own weaknesses. He really hated for other people to see him like this because he still couldn't accept that this was what he'd been reduced to. He was still holding on to Urahara's words that he wasn't as broken as he appeared to be.

As he stood, hoping to seek out the wash basin to clean up a bit, his nightmare finally caught up to him and he began coughing in earnest. He braced his arm on the rough wall at shoulder height and covered his mouth as coughs erupted. His head grew hazy, but it seemed that the artificial soul was really at rest right now because the harsh barks settled fairly quickly. He scrubbed at his mouth irritably and slowly straightened from his hunch to find that Rukia was grasping his other elbow and Renji had risen to his feet.

Ichigo had never really considered how his friends had felt the last few years. He had been so focused on what was going on in his own life that he just hadn't realized. As he studied the two Shinigami who had both changed his life in many ways, he could see the strain and sleepless nights on their faces. He couldn't help the guilt that flooded him. Yes, he'd wanted their last few weeks together to not be full of angst and sadness.. but it looked like that even despite his efforts to keep the worst of this from them they were still suffering. He couldn't help the small smile that crossed his face and the warmth he felt when he realized how much they cared about what happened to him. After all that time alone in prison it continued to surprise him what he used to take for granted.

"I've been a real jerk the last few weeks, haven't I?" Ichigo's lips widened into a grin at their puzzled expressions. "Thanks for putting up with me. I know I've been.. different.. since I got unsealed, and I've been so caught up in my own issues that I never really considered what you guys have been through. So thanks for just trying to be here for me. I appreciate it a lot, you know."

Their pinched expressions softened and Ichigo felt a rush of satisfaction. This is what is was supposed to be like. Renji blushed, which happened way too often for such a tough guy, and Rukia gave him that smile he was so used to. The one that seemed like it was just for the special people in her life.

"Don't worry about us so much Ichigo. With all that's happened no one blames you for being caught up in your own head." Rukia's calm tones soothed him a bit and he gusted out a long breath.

"Yeah, Ichigo, we've probably known more about what you're going through than you think. We're here for ya, despite you tryin' to spare us or whatever stupid thing you're thinkin'. Anyway, tonight you're gonna fix everythin' and we can get ya back to your old self. Or at least so ya don't look half-dead anymore." Renji's signature sharp grin reappeared, embarrassment forgotten for now.

Ichigo made his way over to the wash basin, wanting to not feel so grimy. "Yeah, yeah. I'm looking forward to it, though. I'm done feeling sick all the time."

He bent over the basin to splash the cool, clear water over his face and neck. He ran his wet hands through his messy hair before toweling off. Then he went through his typical routine in fixing his hair. Should he cut it after all this? It's not like he actually knew what it even looked like, although it couldn't be too bad since no one but his old man and the crazy-haired guy behind him had commented on it.

Speaking of which.. he'd been completely avoiding his own reflection since that day he'd worked for supplies in the outlying district and had caught a glimpse of himself in a dingy window. Ichigo lowered the towel and stared blankly ahead as he wondered why. Maybe seeing what he'd been turned into by Soul Society had been too hard? Or was he just afraid that he wouldn't recognize himself any longer? Either way, there was a damn good chance he was going to die tonight. He'd better suck it up and see before it was too late. What point was there in feeling fear at this point?

He steeled himself and looked at the mirror above the basin. It was clean, though he had no idea why when Urahara only periodically came here by himself. Maybe he'd hung it up for Ichigo? His eyes traveled upwards until he met his own gaze. Ichigo watched his brown eyes widen had he took in his new appearance. Woah. He wasn't sure what he'd been expecting, but..

His face was rather gaunt due to his lack of appetite, the state of his health, and the stress he was under. He was also kind of pale thanks to his enforced stay indoors. His eyes were a little sunken and had dark circles under them. No surprise there, what with his shitty sleeping habits. But the colour of them was familiar; a comforting mix of his mom and dad's.

His hair was actually better than he'd thought. It was long and shaggy, but the spiky bright orange hadn't changed at all. He decided then and there he'd keep it. A new hairstyle for the new Ichigo.

Because Ichigo _was_ different. Searching his own face wasn't as casual as it used to be, when he'd glanced easily into the mirror to get ready for school. It seemed like he was looking at a person who used to be your friend but you'd lost touch – sort of dumb, but that was what looking into this mirror felt like. This Ichigo looked stretched too thin and haunted, his brow slightly furrowed in pain. Kids had always been scared of him and teenagers had been wary of his angry expression. He'd grown used to his odd face which always frowned and glowered as its usual expression. But now it had evolved into something unfamiliar to him.

He shook his head and straightened, turning to his friends. They were looking at him with sadness in their eyes. He scratched at his cheek and shrugged. "My dad was right, I do sort of look like a hoodlum."

Renji threw back his head and laughed. "You fit right into Soul Society now, Ichigo! And hey, living here you won't have to wear those uncomfortable human school uniforms anymore, and they won't bitch about tattoos or your hair."

"No, I just have to wear depressing black the rest of my life." He plucked at the front of his Shinigami uniform. "I always wondered why you guys wore such weird scarves and accessories. It's because you're trying to stand out. But you stand out the most, Renji.. look at that clash of colour!" He pointed one long finger at the purple headband his red-haired friend had on.

Renji spluttered, muttering insults at him.

Ichigo chuckled and sat down across from his friends, taking the mug of tea Rukia handed him with a nod of thanks. She was smiling at their banter.

"You know Ichigo, perhaps you look so unfamiliar because you're almost three years older than the last time you looked at yourself."

Ichigo paused with the mug halfway to his mouth, slowly lowering it. Well, damn. She was right, wasn't she? He supposed he did look older and it seemed like he was taller than he had been before. Could that be part of the reason he'd been so disconcerted?

Ichigo smiled at the short Shinigami who always managed to raise his spirits. "You might be right.. I hadn't really thought much about my age." Something occurred to him and he groaned, thumping his head on the table. "That means Ishida, Orihime and Chad are in university now? I'm never gonna hear the end of it from Ishida. He's going to rub that in my face every time I see him!"

Their laughter filled the underground chamber until the sound of a throat clearing came from the ladder. They quickly sobered as they turned towards cause of the interruption.

It was Urahara, smiling with a fond expression, though his eyes were grave. "The time has come, Kurosaki-san. I'm afraid your friends can't accompany us, as it is Captain's only. Say your goodbyes now and meet me outside."

There was a short silence as the older man left. They exchanged telling look. Ichigo finally took his first - and perhaps last ever - sip of tea, before rising.

"I'll be fine guys. You know I never give up, even when I should." His lips turned up in a small smile, but his heartbeat also picked up anxiously. "I'll see you soon, alright? Thanks for cheering me up."

Renji clapped him on the shoulder. "Good luck, Strawberry-head."

Rukia came to stand beside her two best friends, her expression serious. Ichigo knew she was hiding her worry behind her usual mask of calm. "Ichigo. Don't do anything _too_ foolish in there."

Ichigo turned to head up the ladder, saying the last words he may ever speak to his friends over his shoulder.

"See you guys later."

* * *

He met up with Urahara and the two wordlessly began the short walk to the Fourth Division. But Ichigo was too keyed up to keep silent for long. He began to speak, keeping his eyes directed upwards at the night sky. It was a beautiful sight, especially if it was one of his last. He wouldn't look away until the last moment.

"You know what the cruelest thing in the world is, Urahara-san?"

He felt the other man's eyes come to rest on him curiously. "What do you mean?"

"Hope."

"You consider hope to be cruel?"

"Sometimes I do. It's what keeps you going no matter how fucked you are. It drags you on longer than you would otherwise be able to before it lets you down. And the worst kind of hope is false hope. It blooms inside of you like a flower, and as hard as you try to protect it, it always get's ripped out of your soul and leaves you with nothing but an empty space where it used to be."

"How.. poetic, Kurosaki-san. Are you saying that you've been given false hope?"

"Not really. But in the back of my mind – you know, the darkest part - I can't help but think that if I don't live through this, maybe it would have been better to have been kept sealed away for eternity. This might have been the cruelest thing to do to me: to wake me up only to have me struggle and die quicker than I would have in prison. And to give everyone around me false hope."

He tapped his fingers on his thigh, resolutely keeping his burning gaze on the crescent moon hanging far, far above. Before Urahara could speak, Ichigo continued. "But even if it was cruel, thank you for finding me and unsealing me."

He could feel the confusion emanating off the other man now. It seemed Urahara was the one he trusted with these embarrassing thoughts and feelings. Something within was urging him to get out these words before it was too late. So that _someone_ knew.

"Even while I tell myself not to hold onto that hope inside of me, not to get ahead of myself, I keep planning out my future. I still talk to my friends and laugh with them. And I still say 'after all this' or 'later on'. Humans are a sucker for hope.. it's what makes us tick, no matter how awful it can be to us sometimes. Even if I'm let down and die in there tonight, I was still given a great gift. I won't die alone in some place, fading from the world like I was never there. I got justice for what was done to me. And most importantly I was able to give everyone the goodbyes I always wanted to." He took a deep, slightly unsteady breath of the cool twilight air. "And that is what I tell the coward in the back of my mind whenever it tries to tell me I'm stupid to hope. That hope is cruel. The coward has always been there to an extent, but it was given life while I was sealed away in Central 46. I had no choice but to listen to it because I couldn't _do_ anything about it. And it has been haunting me ever since I rejoined regular life. But I'm trying to beat it back, especially right now. Even if I die tonight, I won't die a coward. I'll die someone who tried their best and tried to believe in hope."

Urahara's hand landed on his shoulder forcefully. And stayed there the entire walk to the Fourth Division.

As they reached the door to the room where Ichigo would begin his literal life and death battle, they turned to face each other.

"For the record, Kursosaki-san." Urahara paused to clear his throat. "I have not once considered you a coward. Rather the opposite."

With that he opened the door and they entered slowly. The people waiting inside scrutinized him and he, as always, straightened his shoulders defiantly.

The Captain-Commander opened one eye to gaze at him.

"Are you ready, Kurosaki Ichigo?"


	9. Go

Hey guys, no excuses, just life got in my way. Personal issues, health concerns... it's been a really crappy autumn for me.

But I've been chipping away at this and decided to post it after such a long break, I didn't want you to keep waiting any longer than necessary. There will be one more long chapter after this, not only to give the conclusion and tell Ichigo's fate, but to sum everything up and tie up loose ends.

So I hope you enjoy.

* * *

Good question. Was he ready to do this? Probably not, but there wasn't any time to waste.

Ichigo walked forward, taking in the room where he'd be fighting for his life. There weren't many people; apparently most of the Captains – or whoever wanted to be here – were in the next room in case something went wrong. Or for moral support. Either way he appreciated it.

Standing around a futon laid out in the middle of the polished hardwood floor were Gramps, Unohana-san and her Lieutenant, and Kensei. Even as he opened his mouth to ask why he was there, the tough Visored crossed his arms and explained tersely.

"I was asked to stand by to restrain you if necessary. My Zanpakuto specializes in subduing and overpowering." Kensei's face was expressionless, as was his voice. Still waters ran deep and all that, Ichigo supposed. He just shrugged and moved forward to the pallet, ready to begin. Ichigo was steadily worsening, despite the short nap he'd managed.

"Good idea. Anything I need to know before we start?"

Urahara cleared his throat as he moved up beside him. "I researched all I was able to in the time we had, focusing mainly on destroying artificial souls. Particularly Mod Souls."

Ichigo nodded for him to continue, but he knew that there wasn't going to be any perfect solution. Urahara sighed softly and raised his hands. "Your best bet is to use a Zanpakuto, which you will manifest while in the void. It will make you worsen at a faster rate, due to the drain on your reiatsu, but destroying a Mod Soul requires specialized equipment that you simply can't bring in with you."

"Thanks for trying, Urahara-san. That's pretty much what I expected, so don't feel badly about it or anything." As he spoke he lowered himself onto the bed, shifting to the center. He gazed around at the circle of overly serious faces above him and found himself smiling, which made a few of them look slightly startled. Urahara just looked exasperated. He was used to Ichigo's odd moods and even odder reactions to tense situations, after all.

Unohana cleared her throat to catch his attention, raising one black eyebrow as if in disapproval. "Do you have any plan in mind, Kurosaki-san? You have many strategists at your disposal.. although I believe I know what you're going to say."

Ichigo laid down and stretched until he was somewhat comfortable, briefly mulling over her question - although he didn't have to think over it very long.

"There's really no point in talking this over to death since we have no way of knowing what's gonna happen in there. I'll just have to think on my feet and do my best." He chuckled at her dismayed expression. "It'll work out, or it won't, but I just want to get it over with either way."

Even as she nodded, he continued. "Thanks for all your help since getting me released. It was good to see everyone again, and to know that I'm not as alone as I'd believed these past few years. See you all in a bit, I hope. Sorry in advance if my hollow goes berserk and tries to kill you!"

And, as a few snorts of laughter and snickers filled the room, he shut his aching eyes and dropped into his inner world. It seemed like a fitting good-bye.

Ichigo instantly opened his eyes and his gaze darted around warily. While he knew that this was the best time to confront the artificial soul, there was still a chance of an immediate attack. But it looked like everything was working out so far.

Ignoring Zangetsu and Hichigo for the moment, he turned to look at the tear in his soulscape. He barely held back his gasp. He'd been shocked at the size of it before, but it was absolutely massive now. The roiling gray and black clouds covered the entire sky, obliterating the former cloudless blue. There were flashes of sickening purple light deep within the mass. It looked like some sort of ominous lightning. The tear itself towered over the entire world, making the massive skyscrapers seem minuscule in comparison. Torn metal and shards of glass actually swirled in the air around the tear from the numerous buildings it had already consumed. The force of the wind originating from within the void made his Shinigami uniform flap violently around his frame, and his hair stung his face as the orange strands whipped about.

He'd been unprepared for this amount of destruction.

The only positive thing Ichigo could see was that the tendrils were nowhere to be found. They must be inside recovering.

He finally turned toward his spirits, who were waiting for him to finish his perusal, and tapped his fingers on his thigh restlessly as he picked out what he wanted to say. "I know you guys can't help me out in there, as much as I wish you could. Before I go, I just want to say that I'm grateful – yes, even to you, Hichigo – for how much you've helped me since I first got sealed. I don't know how I would have made it without you two. So, thanks. I'll try not to let you down in there." He scratched his head in embarrassment and he could feel the blush staining his cheeks red.

His hollow grinned slyly. _Well if ya do kick the bucket, I'll at least get ta' fight the head honcho out there. Can't say I'm not excited for that, King!_

"Thanks a lot, jerk."

He watched his bleached out twin give him a sardonic salute. Ichigo just shook his head.

Zangetsu drifted closer, his cloak billowing more than usual. _Try to keep a level head, if that is possible. I am sure once you enter the void a path will become clear to you._ His grim face softened somewhat into a fond smile. _You are one who always finds a way to survive. I do not believe this is a goodbye, Ichigo._

Ichigo smiled back at him. Zangetsu may be cryptic, but he was rarely wrong. "Yeah, thanks, Old Man. I'll see you in awhile."

He turned away and began fighting the tempest towards the void, keeping a sharp eye out for any movements. He grasped the familiar handle of his Zanpakuto over his shoulder and brought it in front of him, just in case the tentacles showed up before he could get inside.

 _Oi, King!_

He flicked a glance back at the shout from behind him.

 _In the end, ya weren't a bad master or whatever ta have. Just so you know. Once you stopped listenin' to those idiot Shinigami, at least._

Ichigo laughed and waved a wand at the two figures before using Shunpo to bound towards the great rip in front of him. He couldn't help but feel thankful that he'd been so blessed in his life. He may be messed up, and in an unbelievable situation right now, but he was also really damn lucky.

His sandals tapped rhythmically on the gleaming glass of the sideways skyscrapers that dotted his world as he drew closer. There was still no stirs from within the void. So far so good.

However promising this start seemed, Ichigo had no illusions here. He was in rough shape. He hadn't bounced back at all from his earlier episode, and he had a hunch that even given time to recuperate, he would have just kept deteriorating. His strength was a mere shadow of what it had been, even directly after his unsealing.

But he wasn't here to complain about the long odds. He was here to beat them.

Ichigo paused at the opening to the void. It was hard to stay standing, this close to the gigantic black hole before him. It was putting out an impressively forceful wind and it was roaring with sound; the combination nearly blew him away. He craned his neck up, but couldn't even see the top of this thing from here. If he glanced back, he could just barely spot the distant figures of his spirits. He really wished he could go back, because everything around him here, at the beginning of the end, was forbidding and malicious. He could sense an overwhelming destructive force up ahead, and had to actually steel himself to step inside, hearth thudding painfully in his chest.

The world instantly went silent. He glanced wildly behind him, but all he could see was more black. He spun back around, but it was like he'd stepped into a portal: he was no longer able to go back at all. He couldn't even _see_ his soulscape any longer. Ichigo swallowed nervously and his grip on the hilt of his sword tightened convulsively. He was trying hard not to panic at the complete and utter darkness around him. He hadn't even graduated to sleeping during the night hours or going anywhere that was unlit, and now he was trapped in the dark. Again.

"This is fine. I knew it would come to this. I told Urahara-san I wouldn't be a coward, and I _won't_ be." Ichigo shakily muttered to himself as he inched his left foot forward.

It was disorienting, to say the least. He was facing the direction he thought he should be, but he couldn't even see his hand in front of his face. He strained all of his senses, and thought he heard a slight sound up ahead. Ichigo resolutely straightened his shoulders and tried to calm his rapid heartbeat as he began to cautiously make his way forward, ignoring the way his body was trembling in fear and his breath came in short pants.

In every battle before this, he'd always had a vague plan in his mind. At the very least he'd been sure of his end goal. Sure, it had pretty much been to beat the strongest guy or to save whichever of his friends was in danger, but he'd had a clear motive every time. This was nothing like he'd experienced before.

Maybe it was due to the moral dilemma he was facing. The soul inside of him was innocent, created by science and doomed by government. It hadn't asked to be made, and certainly hadn't wanted to end up trapped inside of _him._ And he definitely didn't want to have to kill it. If anything Ichigo sympathized with it, maybe more so because of his annoying stuffed-animal companion.

More than that, he had no idea how he was going to confront it. Was this thing even like Kon? He wasn't sure if he could reason with it, or even destroy it if it came to that - Zanpakuto or no Zanpakuto. It was like Urahara had told him before he'd come in here: there was no precedent for any of this. But Ichigo, who admittedly sucked at tactics and thinking up brilliant plans on the fly, had to somehow come up with a strategy to beat it before it skewered him like in his nightmare earlier.

It was making him crazy with anxiety even thinking about it.

He doggedly inched forward, towards what he now identified as a voice. It was mumbling incoherently and echoing slightly in the blackness. Ichigo squinted as something flickered ahead. Some sort of light?

His feet made no sound – he wasn't sure if there even was a goddamn floor here, although he was walking on _something_ – but he could hear his shallow breaths in the absolute silence and was almost convinced the thing would notice him from how loud his heart was beating.

This was absolute hell for him. He felt trapped, with that familiar cocktail of hopelessness and despair weighing him down. He couldn't help but flash-back to his enforced stay in prison, and could practically feel the blindfold cinched over his eyes and the itchiness of the seal on his skin. It was everything he could do not to flip out entirely. Somehow, he'd believed that he'd still be able to see out to his soulscape once he'd come in here, so that had thrown him for a loop. He was more than ready to get this over with so he could escape.

As such, it was a relief to draw closer to that flickering glow. It was almost like firelight. The voice grew louder with each step and he tried to make out what it was saying. Should he call out, or was that suicide? If it was relatively calm right now, then popping out unannounced may just throw it into a blind rage. He jerked to a stop when he suddenly became aware that the voice had gone silent. Well, that couldn't be good. He really wished he could hear Hichigo or Zangetsu right about now.

Wait.. was he seeing this right? The flickering light appeared to be in the shape of a doorway. He cautiously moved forward and when he drew near enough, Ichigo glanced inside warily. His eyes widened in disbelief as he took in the space before him. It was a good-sized chamber, with small fires dotting the blackness and outlining the walls and ceiling in their warm glow. He'd been right about the firelight, which was astonishing enough, but how in the hell was there a _room_ in this endless void? This was getting stranger every second.

He kept off to the side of the arched doorway, making sure to stay completely silent. He was barely even breathing now. Where was the artificial soul, damn it? He couldn't see anything but walls and flames.

There was nothing else to do. He held his sword at the ready in front of him and gingerly stepped into the room. He braced himself, but nothing happened. There was a pile of dancing flame immediately to his right; he could feel the heat of it from here. It was almost comforting after his blind walk from the opening to here. But it left him reeling with confusion. Had the soul somehow done this? Maybe this is where it stayed.. but then where the hell was it?

Ichigo kept his sword raised and turned in a slow rotation, scanning every inch of the room. It was here, he _knew_ it. This is where the voice had echoed from. It obviously knew Ichigo was here, so why wasn't it attacking? Ichigo lowered his sword slightly and cleared his throat.

"H-hello? You in here?" He ventured, his voice seemingly too loud in the stillness.

He kept turning, feeling eyes on him. But he still had no idea where it was. His heart beat thickly in his aching chest as he braced himself for something, anything, to happen.

"Listen, I came in here to talk to you. I know the sword looks bad, but that's just in case you attack again. I really don't want to hurt you." Ichigo went with instinct and dropped the point of his sword to just barely touch the ground.

He felt some sort of presence behind him and swallowed as he slowly faced it. He didn't want to make any sudden moves here, but if it _had_ been behind him this whole time then that was promising, since he wasn't dead already. At first he didn't see anything, but a movement above him caught his attention.

From the dense shadows of the ceiling, a trio of tentacles came slithering downwards. Ichigo backed up a few steps, watching them in an odd mixture curiosity and dread. They sinuously curled, entwining with one another as they descended. When they got about chest-height on Ichigo, they rolled into a ball. He could see a light emitting from between the small gaps that formed as they circled and twisted. He didn't even dare to breathe as they formed a sort of sphere, a little larger than a beach-ball.

The mass moved again, opening a hole that faced Ichigo, and he gusted out a breath when he finally saw the cause of all this. It was a ball the size of his fist, a translucent black that was ablaze from the inside with a glow that looked much like the fires that crackled and hissed around them. It was like nothing he'd ever seen before - which was pretty much the norm for him right now. He'd had enough weird experiences to last him a lifetime.

It was unlike the pill that housed Kon. He supposed that to account for adding a Soul Chain to it, they'd had to make it bigger. Or it could just be from merging with - and eating - Ichigo's soul. He really had no idea. But he was pretty sure it could talk, and nothing was trying to attack him right now, so he tried again now that he knew he had its undivided attention.

"Hello. Thanks for, uh, not killing me right off the bat. I bet you're kind of confused right now." He sounded like an idiot, but what was he _supposed_ to say here? There was a lengthy pause, and he hoped he was right in believing that it could communicate. Otherwise he was at a loss for what to do, short of stabbing it outright.

Suddenly a voice came from within the small sphere, the tendrils surrounding it pulsing sickly in response. It was actually a nice voice, low and feminine. He wasn't sure if that made this easier or not.

 _You are a Shinigami. You are the being whose soul is surrounding me, trapping me here. And yet you're in front of me now as well._

Ichigo blew out a breath, scratching his head. He was going to go with blunt honesty here and see if the pattern of success continued.

"I'm really more of a human than a Shinigami. Well, I guess I am actually a Shinigami now that I've died, technically, but I also have a hollow in me - it's complicated. But I was human up until a few years ago and I've only been living in Soul Society for the last few weeks." He put his sword onto his back with a _clink,_ wincing when the fires around him blazed brighter for a second in warning. No sudden movements, idiot.

Ichigo held out his hands in a peace-keeping way. "Look, I'm not sure if you can see out into the real world from here or not, like my hollow and Zanpakuto spirits can, but if you agree to listen then I want to explain all of this to you."

There was a moment of tense silence before the voice spoke again. _I mostly see blackness. So I made light. Rarely I see a world with sky and glass, but never where I was before the blackness._

Ichigo nodded. "The glass and sky is _my_ inner world, my soulscape. You were put here by someone else, because they wanted to get back at me. I.. do you know what you are?" This was hard. Fighting he could do, but this was painful in a lot of other ways.

The voice was scornful now as it retorted. _I am well aware. I may not be living, as defined by a Shinigami, but I am conscious. They created us in a laboratory and they killed us in the same room. I do not know where I am now, but I do know what I am._

Something didn't add up here.. "Sorry, but I thought you were created by yourself. A long time ago they made a lot of you, but you were made only a month or two ago, weren't you?"

This was apparently the wrong thing to say since spears of flame arced towards the ceiling and the orb's glow flared ominously. As Ichigo stepped back in reaction, he got a look inside the protective nest it had created for itself, and his brows drew together in a frown. There was a chain leading from the sphere, up into the three tentacles that hung from the ceiling. The Chain of Fate? Wasn't it supposed to be _inside_ of the sphere? Although it was eating itself.. so maybe this is what it looked like during Encroachment?

He immediately put it out of his mind when the flames settled slightly. He hoped that was a good sign, because he had no idea if this little talk was going to accomplish anything. But he had to try, damn it.

 _Shinigami are as arrogant as always, it seems. I am a Mod Soul, boy. They import memories into all of us, to give us the history and wills of our supposed masters. This includes our creation process, so that we always know that we are not to be considered one of them, but instead possessions to be used. It is true that I am a newer creation, made not in the same laboratory as my predecessors, but I still know the history of my kind._

Ichigo tapped his fingers on his thigh as he mulled that over. Imata Soujou must have used the exact same manufacturing process, although why he would bother to give _this_ soul memories was beyond him. "So your own memories began after your creation. I'll tell it to you straight, then - but it's up to you if you believe me." When the soul didn't respond, Ichigo began recounting everything that had happened. When he reached the end of the events leading to him being here in this strange void, the voice still didn't answer. He began to sweat slightly as he waited with bated breath. He really had no idea what he was doing here. Finally the tentacles pulsated as the orb spoke once more.

 _You wish for me to die so that you may have a chance to live. That is why you have come here, while I am at my weakest._

Ichigo shoved his hand through his unruly hair. "I'm not sure what to tell you. Anything I say is going to be hypocritical. All I know is that I'm at my weakest right now as well, but talking to you – or potentially fighting you - is my last shot. We both want to live and we both have a right to live, but only I can. They've given us a shitty choice to make. Well, they've given _you_ a shitty choice, to be more accurate."

 _You believe it is difficult to choose to let you die alongside me? It would serve the Shinigami right if I could hurt some of them and teach them a much-needed lesson. Perhaps then they will think twice about playing the 'gods' they profess to be so freely. To create life to toy with, feeling no remorse or consequence for their actions. If your death causes even one cursed Shinigami to reconsider, then it will have been worthwhile._

Ichigo gusted out a long breath. "If you chose to let me die, I guess I can understand. You have no reason to believe me, but if there was any way to save you, I would have done that in a heartbeat. I don't want you to have to die and I don't want to be the one to kill you."

 _Then what do you want, boy?_

"Does it matter what I want? I haven't had a goddamn choice for over two years!" Anger burned within him and he turned to pace back and forth in agitation. "I have a friend who's like you, you know. He's a Mod Soul, although he doesn't have a Chain of Fate. His name is Kon, for kaizou konpaku. It's a stupid name, I know, but I wanted to give him one. He escaped when they were exterminating the others and I ended up with him in a roundabout way. He's an idiot, and obsessed with women, but I keep him beside me because he deserves to be there. So all of this.. this _bullshit_ that's happening right now really pisses me off. None of it is fair. You asked me what I want? I want you to be able to live out there like Kon does. And maybe it's cruel to say this, but a part of me wants for you to have never existed, because then you wouldn't be suffering and I wouldn't be here in this situation." His shoulders slumped as he stopped his tirade. "I guess hearing me say this is pointless, because to you I'm the enemy. But I really do wish he hadn't made you into a weapon designed to kill me, or anyone else."

 _You.. believe this._ The voice sounded nonplussed. Ichigo shrugged, exhausted beyond belief at how difficult this was. He could practically feel his time running out and they had gotten nowhere. But he couldn't bring himself to attack.

 _I have consumed some of your soul, as I'm sure you know._ At Ichigo's nod it continued. _As such I am very close to knowing who you are at your core. I could feel if you were lying._

That was convenient. Ichigo opened his mouth to speak, but it continued.

 _I do not understand you, boy. I tell you why I would not hesitate to kill you and you tell me why I deserve to live. I cannot live, even if I was not in your soul. Such was the reason I came to be._

Ichigo huffed and gave into his body, easing himself to sit cross-legged on the ground. The soul lowered itself slightly to hang at eye level with him. He gave a halfhearted smile. "I get that a lot. I never react how people expect, but that's just who I am. I'm not going to cater to Soul Society's archaic rules and customs. I was just a regular teenager before I met a certain Shinigami, even if I could see ghosts. So I don't think like a lot of them." He drew a deep breath, and then gave the orb a solemn stare as he put everything he had on the table.

"I won't ask you to kill yourself for me and I can't bring myself to just outright kill you. Maybe a few years ago, when I was more reckless and impulsive, I could have done it. Or maybe if I hadn't met Kon it would be different. But it is what it is. And even if we fought, I'm weakening by the minute. I do want to live, more than anything, even though I'm kind of messed up from what Central 46 did to me. But you've had no choices in any of this, so I'm leaving this one thing up to you." He huffed a laugh, devoid of humor. "I feel like I'm letting everyone down because I told them I'd die fighting. But you know what I've learned? Some battles have to be fought differently, or not at all. And I'm glad that I got to talk to you and lay it all out, here at the end."

He coughed and absently wiped away the splattering of crimson on the leg of his robes, never breaking eye contact with it. He had no idea if it could see him at all, actually. Ichigo surprisingly felt a moment of peace – albeit a very brief moment – at being able to sit here calmly while staring death in the face. It was something that he'd never considered would happen. But like Zangetsu had told him, he remembered with a fond smile, his path was open to him.

 _You are an odd Shinigami, or whatever it is you are. You let me choose your fate even though you could end it all with one swing of your blade. I almost wish I could ask you to stay here, in the room I lit, until one of us succumbs._

Ichigo's heart thudded thickly, and his hands shook slightly. But he shook his head. "I don't think either of us really wants that."

 _No._ There was a thoughtful pause. _I enjoyed, earlier, when we fought. It was the only excitement I have had since my creation. I did want to stop you from entering, but it was a thrill nonetheless. Perhaps I was originally intended to be a sword fighting Mod Soul. I do not know, and it does not matter. But I have made my decision, boy._

Ichigo laboriously levered to his feet once more and nodded to show he was ready. He cleared his throat. "One thing before you tell me. My name is Kurosaki Ichigo."

 _Kurosaki Ichigo._ It sounded like the voice was sounding it out. _I see. I do not have a name and I do not need one._

He couldn't help but notice that it -she?- seemed intelligent and well-spoken. But Soul Society had thrown those like her away without a second thought when they'd proven 'failures'. Even judging the standards of Mod Souls by Kon, Ichigo still couldn't believe that they'd dispose of all of these artificial souls. Kon had helped Ichigo and his family out more than once; all he'd needed was some understanding and the benefit of the doubt. Yet here they were, full circle.

Before Ichigo could form any sort of reply, the artificial soul continued.

 _I have decided that we'll have one last battle between us. If you win, then you will be able to survive, if you can overcome the damage you have sustained. If I win, then it was all for naught, and I get to deal a blow to any Shinigami who may miss your existence. It is only fair. We are both at the end of our lives, so a duel is a fitting end to all of this suffering, is it not?_

Well.. shit. It looked like he was fighting after all. But he _had_ enjoyed their battle before, the reckless thrill of putting his life on the line in a clash of wills and strength. And it was the best solution, since if she died by his hand, it was because he'd gotten lucky or persevered through skill; not due to an unmitigated slaying. He wanted to rub the scientists' noses in the fact that the Mod Souls could be downright _brilliant_ , but he really doubted that they would care. Idiots.

He'd better get his head in the game though. The tentacles surrounding the glowing orb were tensing in readiness while the soul itself was becoming brighter. _I will not show any mercy, boy. I am fighting to win, so I suggest that you do the same if you have any hope of leaving this place._

A weary grin lit up his face as he nodded his agreement, and his hand tightened in reaction as he lightly skipped backwards out of the doorway to gain some distance and room to swing his Zanpakuto. He did stay within sight of the chamber, because he could do without being trapped in all-encompassing darkness again, thanks very much. He realized he was going to be at a disadvantage either way: a room too small to properly fight in, or fighting in the dark against an opponent that could blend in. His split decision may come back to bite him in the end, but he figured his previously-honed senses during battle may help swing the tide in his favor. Hopefully. Maybe.

As he got into a loose fighting stance, his sword pointed straight at the room he'd just vacated, Ichigo watched the tendrils sinuously snake around the edges of the doorway. A shiver ran down his spine at the unsettling motions of those appendages. He balanced on the balls of his feet, ready for the first attack. For one dizzying moment there was only the slick sounds of movement ahead, the pounding of his heart and his breaths, shallow and quick, in the silence.

Then it began.

* * *

Ichigo immediately flipped backwards over the first stab, pushing off the air with Shunpo to propel himself to the left, narrowly avoiding the second. To compensate for the low visibility, he let his instincts guide him. At a slight whistle in the air, signaling an incredibly quick movement, he ducked the third tentacle, which had moved to attack his left side.

Damn, it really _was_ going in for the kill – he'd somehow thought it would take it a little easy. But Ichigo _had_ given it free reign to do what it wanted, so here they were. Ichigo also couldn't help but notice how quickly he was tiring and how slow his reflexes were. Well, whatever. He was going to work with what he had and give it all he could.

After a few parry's and blocks with his sword - which just felt wrong without the clang and spark of steel striking steel – Ichigo began to get into the feel of battling this creature. He stayed on the defensive, slowly moving forwards as he dodged and countered. The Mod Soul wasn't fighting on the level of last time either; they really were both extremely weakened. He couldn't tell which way this battle was going to go.

He leapt to the right, just barely avoiding a particularly aggressive stab, and had to roll up onto one knee and whip his sword upwards to intercept a downward swing. The heavy tendril slammed onto his blade and he had to grit his teeth, muscles straining, to keep it from pummeling him into the ground. With a shout, he used all of his strength to shove the appendage off to the side, only to grunt when another came whipping from the side, slamming into his side and sending him in an uncontrollable roll.

He pushed up onto his hands and knees, thankfully still having a grip on his sword. Looks like all of his fighting knowledge from years ago were just ingrained in his body at this point. He definitely needed an edge, since the soul had the advantage in nearly every other way. It would keep pummeling him with it's superior reach and numbers until he just wouldn't be able to overcome it.

He stood with a groan, spitting a mouthful of blood into the darkness. The attack had pushed him even farther from his goal, so he was going to go on the offensive now. He needed to reach the core.

Ichigo swung his blade in front of him and let his reiatsu loose in a powerful wave, despite the dangers of going all-out with the current damage to his soul. It wiped out his aches and pains instantly. It was like he'd given himself a shot of adrenaline. He braced his feet on the uncertain footing beneath him, and propelled forwards in a blur. He was going to use his speed to his advantage. And being fast was key, because the drain on his reiatsu could trigger an attack, even while the Mod Soul was weak. If that happened then he was dead.

He was nothing if not a gambler.

Ichigo used an intricate mix of dodging, Shunpo and his own instincts to leap and twist around the powerful jabs and thrusts of the three tentacles, steadily pushing towards the doorway in the distance. He saw two of the things accidentally slam into one another, and saw his path to victory open up. They were getting in each others way trying to get a solid hit on him. Yeah, he could definitely work with that.

Did Ichigo want to kill the soul? No, definitely not. But the Mod Soul was putting forth all its remaining effort to kill him, and this is what it had chosen. So Ichigo would be ridiculing the choice he'd given it by not doing the same. He was going to do it as quick as possible, though, for his own sake.

He was ten feet from the door when he saw an opportunity he couldn't resist. Two tendrils had clashed in their combined attack, leaving a wide gap between them. Ichigo waited until he heard the third behind him trying to catch him off-guard, and quickly leapt through the opening, hoping the last one would follow suit. And luck was on his side, because sure enough it stabbed through after him.

He flipped backwards just before it connected with his unprotected back, wincing as the sharp tip caught his skin. He landed solidly on top of it with both sandaled feet, pushing off into another flip over the first two which had yet to move in the last few seconds. It twisted to follow him once again, and Ichigo whooped in sheer incredulous joy as the three could now be seen in a great writhing tangle.

Seeing his chance, he immediately sped towards the unguarded room that the orb was still in. Ichigo had guessed correctly that the artificial soul couldn't leave. Maybe the pill-like casing that was missing, that the Chain of Fate had been connected to, was the room itself? Whatever the reason, it was working in his favor.

Just as he reached the doorway, about to cross the threshold, he felt his left leg give out with a swell of agony. He yelled in pain as he tumbled through the arch, and glanced wildly behind him to see a thin tentacle had stabbed clean through his calf, pinning him to the ground. But the three were still tangled together in a heap.. shit. He'd miscalculated. One of the tendrils had split into two, though they must lose power to do so, which is why they hadn't before now. But all they'd needed to do was stop his movement.

Ichigo whipped his sword behind him and severed the smaller inky-black feeler, rolling to the left so he was out of line of sight from outside the entrance. He reached down and ripped the rest of it from his leg, gritting his teeth to stop a shout. Fuck, that hurt. He wanted to smirk when he thought of how much this must be freaking out the Shinigami in that room with him. Almost made this whole thing worth it.

He coughed slightly, ignoring the tang of copper in his mouth, and shoved himself to his feet. With one burst of Shunpo he was again standing directly in front of the orb. This was it, because he was at his limit. His chest and back burned with pain, his ribs were surely cracked from that hit, and he couldn't put much weight on his impaled leg. Not to mention the myriad of scratches and bruises that covered him.

He couldn't tell what shape the soul was in, but he thought it was paler. The tentacles it controlled had begun to move more sluggishly, and the one he'd severed lay unmoving on the floor. Even the fire dotting the chamber were dimmer.

Not wanting to waste any time, he raised his sword to finish it. But a harsh, ripping cough exploded from him, blood spewing from his mouth in a torrent. His sword arm faltered on it's down-swing, and it gave the tentacles outside just enough time to reach the room. They descended from the ceiling like certain death, one wrapping around his midsection in excruciating tightness while the other two immobilized his arms.

Just the shitty luck of the Kurosaki family at work, he supposed.

"So, I guess it's decided then, huh?" He rasped, shooting the orb a crimson-tinged grin. Another cough rattled his chest, making him want to curl up in agony.

 _You fought well, Kurosaki Ichigo. If I could tell those that waited for you, I would do so. I hope that your death will serve as a lesson to those that would hear it._

Ichigo nodded shortly, his shaggy orange hair falling into his face at the movement. Because of that, he almost missed the stutter in the glow inside the orb and the falter in the tendrils that grasped him so tightly. Before he could second-guess himself, he ripped his sword-arm from the tentacle on his right and brought it forward one last time, gathering his wavering reiatsu together as best he could.

"Getsuga Tenshou."


	10. Finish

This is the conclusion, at long last guys. Thanks for sticking with me! Ever since a story of Ichigo battling his inner demons and himself - rather than one big enemy - popped into my head, all I've wanted to do was write it. So thanks for the favorites, and follows, and views, and reviews. They all mean a lot to me and kept pushing me to this point.

I'm already thinking of writing a sequel and/or a series of one-shots, but it wouldn't be any time soon. But my muse is intrigued by seeing what Ichigo does with his life after he's finally free! I already have a few good ideas floating around.

Anyways, I really hope this doesn't disappoint!

Drazzah.

* * *

Ichigo struggled to open his eyes, squinting in the harsh glare of a fluorescent light. He blearily made out the circle of serious faces above him, which included Urahara and Unohana-san. What the hell? Hadn't he just been talking to the artificial soul..?

He tried to speak but his throat worked uselessly. A weak cough sounded instead, twin trails of blood tickling his jaw as they escaped the corners of his lips. Urahara's brow was furrowed in concern, while the two members of the Fourth division were focused and determined as they quickly moved around him. Healing him? Had he succeeded? He didn't feel any better..

Ichigo tried to ask the question with his eyes, directed at the person he trusted to tell him the straight truth. Urahara swallowed, his gray eyes uncertain for once as he correctly read what Ichigo was desperate to know.

"We don't know what happened, Kurosaki-san. You did sustain some damage, like we'd prepared for, but then you suddenly released a great deal of reiatsu and we started to lose you. Then you left your soulscape and regained consciousness. Did you win?" His voice was soft, as if he was afraid of speaking any louder. Ichigo could hear the quiet orders of Unohana-san and his own harsh, pained breathing in the otherwise silent room.

Right. He'd used Getsuga Tenshou, but he couldn't remember anything after that. Had he killed the Mod Soul? Seemed anti-climatic to him. It was hard to think at all with the agony coursing through his body; his head was muddled with it and his ears were buzzing. Had he lost his last gamble? Using so much spiritual pressure at once must have gravely wounded him. His soul had been too weak to handle it after all..

He coughed out the blood blocking his throat, grimacing at the sight. He had to try twice before he was able to speak with any coherency.

"No.. don't think I won. Gambled. Let loose.. Getsuga Tenshou.. but I don't think it was.. killed. Killed.. myself maybe?" He pushed out the words, hoarse voice rasping from his aching throat.

Urahara seemed to deliberate that and Ichigo blankly noticed that he wasn't wearing his hat. He almost felt honored, since he only did that for Gramps. Wait.. the old guy was here, too, wasn't he? So much for that theory. What had he been saying?

He blinked and realized that it was Urahara who had been speaking. As if noticing that Ichigo couldn't follow, he paused to speak to Unohana-san briefly. She glanced at him for a moment, kind face unreadable, before she touched a gentle hand to his forehead. His attention sharpened, the buzzing lessening slightly. He nodded his thanks sluggishly, before looking back at his friend.

"Kurosaki-san, they're working to heal you, but if the Mod Soul isn't dead then you have to go back in. It's your only chance." His low voice was urgent now, trying to get the pertinent info across before Ichigo faded again. Hadn't that always been his only chance though? Looked like he blown it, judging by how he was starting to go numb.

But even as he thought that, he felt a tugging sensation deep within him. The room went black momentarily at a particularly sharp yank. His.. soul was pulling him into his soulscape involuntarily? Was that possible?

He gave a weak grin, unable to hide his vague amusement at these increasingly ridiculous events. Urahara's serious eyes widened. "Your eye.. it's becoming Hollowfied." His voice was shocked and resigned all at once.

Ichigo snorted a semblance of a laugh, ignoring the spill of blood with the movement. "Y-yeah.. that figures. Looks like.. got no choice. Being.. pulled in. Try to-"

He got cut off at the splintering wave of torment that engulfed him, swallowing him whole. _Shit, shit, shit_. He was aware that someone was crying out in an awful voice. Maybe it was himself he was hearing distantly, but he'd never heard anything like that before. It sounded like someone was being murdered or something.. His thoughts faded briefly to escape the waves of agony.

When he was unceremoniously slammed back into his body, it was with extreme reluctance. Wasn't this enough..? Hadn't he been through enough already, for fucks sake? The pain had to stop sometime..

He was unaware that he was mumbling aloud, riding on a haze of misery. Someone shook him roughly, and he blinked repeatedly until Urahara's familiar face anchored him. He was blurry, and Ichigo realized his eyes were clouded with tears. He couldn't bring himself to care. He felt like he was caving in from the inside out.

"Kurosaki-san!"

Ichigo felt that persistent tug once more and decided to give in to it. He coughed roughly and finished his earlier train of thought. "Try.. to buy me some.. time. Please. Hichigo.. will too.."

With that, he followed the call within him and fell back into the abyss.

When Ichigo opened his eyes once again, it was with even more confusion. Everything was a dense black, and his spirits were no where to be found. Was he already in the void? He realized he was flat on his back, sprawled on the ground, which was shaking with faint tremors. He also came to the conclusion that he felt slightly better in here. Less like he was going to die at any second, anyway.

He heard a faint sound, and tilted his head back to look behind him. It was hard to make out, being upside down and all, but he glimpsed a familiar glow. He was a few feet away from the chamber where the Mod Soul lived. He must have failed to kill it in one blow, as he'd hoped to. He also must have landed out here at the same time that he'd been thrown clear out of his own subconscious in the resulting chaos.

He rolled sluggishly onto his stomach, and swayed on his hands and knees for a moment. As he struggled to stand upright, his sword manifested in his slick palm, and he gratefully used it for balance as he stumbled into the room. He sent a silent thanks to Zangetsu for always being there right when he needed him.

As he cleared the arched doorway, for hopefully the last goddamn time, he blearily squinted around the space, unable to mask his surprise and dismay at what he found.

The fires had long since guttered out, and the tentacles were scattered around the space, unmoving where they'd been flung after Ichigo's desperate attack. In the very center lay the artificial soul. Its glow was pulsing weakly, almost like a heart beat. The Chain of Fate was no longer connected to the ceiling, but lay coiled around the unfortunate creature in a dark tangle.

Ichigo's brow furrowed as he dropped heavily onto his knees next to it.

"You're still alive?" His voice was reduced to a grating whisper, and he reached a hand out as if to touch it. But he dropped it heavily to his side when he realized that he'd done this to it; he didn't have the right to comfort it. He also doubted it would want that in any case.

 _Yes, it appears so._ The feminine voice was soft and weak now. _Well done, winning our duel. I can no longer defend myself, nor do I want to. You must finish what you have started. That is why I have called you back._

Ichigo squeezed his burning eyes shut. "Even if I do, I don't think I'm gonna make it."

 _Nonsense, Kurosaki Ichigo. Put an end to my cursed existence and the damage will begin to heal. I will not break our agreement and drag you down with me. It is your best, and only, chance. You did say you wanted to live, more than anything. Did you not?_

"Yeah," He blew out a long breath and grasped the solid warmth of his Zanpakuto. "I did. I'm sorry, if that makes any difference."

 _Yes, I think perhaps it does. I did not expect any empathy for my passing._

Ichigo swallowed thickly and raised his sword, the point inches away from the smooth surface of the orb. The glow fluttered slightly as Ichigo thrust forward, a sharp crack echoing in the space as the shell cracked neatly in two. The glow, no longer pulsing, rose slowly into the air, hovering directly in front of Ichigo's eyes. Even as it spoke, it was fading into nothingness.

 _If I had to be killed, I am glad it was by someone so reluctant to do so. The only light in my short existence was meeting such a strange Shinigami. If you can carry this rage and grief with you, into your godforsaken Soul Society, then my creation may have meant something in the end._

Even when he sensed that it was gone for good, he raised one trembling hand to touch the air where it had disappeared.

"Yeah. I won't forget you. You were a part of my soul, after all."

As if waiting for his words, the room suddenly began to crumble. He staggered out into the open, but realized he didn't know where to go or what to do. He hadn't thought this far ahead, damn it.

As he turned in a slow circle, stumbling aimlessly, his eyes strained to pick out anything that would give him a sign about what to do. But it turned out all he needed to do was listen.

 _Ichigo!_

Zangetsu's deep voice was loud, despite the sounds of destruction around him. The place was falling apart with him in it. Was the void closing? He must be able to hear his spirits again with the artificial soul finally gone, but then where the hell was Zangetsu?

 _Follow my voice. You must exit the void before it seals with you inside._

Behind him! With the last of his energy he broke into a limping run towards the voice of his Zanpakuto spirit. He could distantly see a slice of blue sky and glinting glass. His soulscape was open to him again!

 _Hurry, Ichigo! Your hollow side is beginning to run rampant, with you being so close to death. The Shinigami who guard you will not wait for much longer._

Well, that wasn't good. In fact it was really, really bad. He made himself put on a burst of speed as he neared the exit, finally tumbling from the inky darkness of the black void behind him as a great forced shoved him. He lay dazed for a moment, the sunlight filtering through the dispersing clouds was so bright he had to shield his eyes.

Ichigo rolled to his feet, unable to lay still without knowing if he was safe. Sensing movement, and still riding high on the rush of adrenaline, he spun to see Zangetsu nearby, gazing at something behind Ichigo.

He craned his head around to see that the void was still a ragged line down the center of his inner world, but it was _sealed_. Actually sealed. The place was a gigantic fucking mess, glass and debris strewn everywhere, half the buildings demolished or missing. But it looked better than it had since he'd first been unsealed from Central 46.

He turned to Zangetsu. "Oi, Old Man. Good to see you again." Pain, his old friend, was beginning to rise once more as relief calmed him down.

 _So it is, Ichigo, but this is no time to celebrate. You must go and stop your hollow before it is too late._

Ichigo nodded briefly, immediately closing his eyes to push himself awake.

He'd never felt anything like this.

When his hollow had taken over before, Ichigo had been shoved into the back of his mind to watch in horror at what he was doing while out of control. Sometimes he couldn't even witness the force of destruction he was wreaking on others, if that was the way his hollow had wanted it. That was part of why it had been so terrifying.

But since they had come to their agreement, not once had they attempted to merge.

So when Ichigo tried to wake up, instead of being his usual controlled self, he wasn't alone in his mind. It wasn't like when his spirits talked to him, because speaking was all they were doing. This was like.. he was sharing everything. He could feel the insidious power of his hollow throughout his whole being, but it didn't feel as terrifying as before. He realized that his hollow had moved over so that he had a part in what was going on. It was the oddest sensation, but it felt kind of good. The strength of his hollow coursed through him but he was in control of it. As he looked through the eyes of his mask, he saw that there were a lot of drawn swords pointed at him. Uh oh. He glanced downwards, and took stock of his increasingly hollow-looking form. He was probably half-way to being taken over completely.

Ichigo could feel when Hichigo became aware of his appearance in his own mind, since they were sharing, and felt the hollow pause.

 _King? Thought ya were dyin' for sure this time._

As he replied in his mind, he noticed that his voice sounded like it did when he pulled out his mask. _Nah, told you I wouldn't die so easy. But if you keep using your powers and my reiatsu, then it's still a possibility._

The room wavered, the edges of his vision filling with black as his chest burned even through the influence of his hollow's impressive power. He huffed a laugh when he realized that all of the Shinigami in the room were standing a cautious distant away, aside from Kensei, and they looked perplexed at the change in his behavior.

 _Fine, I'll go back. Felt good to let loose a little bit, that's for damn sure! Even if you're so weak that I wouldn'ta got very far._

 _Idiot. I'll bring you out again as soon as I recover, okay? Go away already._

He felt Hichigo slide back into main control briefly - ignoring his irritated curses - raising Ichigo's own hand to give an impertinent wave, his voice distinctly echoing through the comforting weight of his hollow mask. " _No need ta' piss yourselves anymore, Shinigami. I'm done here. Try not ta' let the kid die, if ya know what's good for ya."_

They looked startled before his hollow faded back into his soulscape. Ichigo could feel the inky black that stained his eyes fading at the simultaneously. He raised the sword hilt-first, ignoring the way they tensed, and shattered his mask in one swift blow with a sound like breaking china.

He gazed at the semi-circle of people around him, raising a trembling hand in greeting as the white fragments crumbled away from his body.

"Yo." He said unceremoniously, voice barely strong enough to reach the group across from him.

Then he fell flat on his face in a dead faint.

* * *

Ichigo drifted in a sea of white. Much like when he was imprisoned, he had no way of measuring the flow of time around him.

On one hand, he distantly thought that he should be concerned. He definitely wasn't awake, but he also wasn't able to go to his inner world. He was pretty sure he hadn't died, although after how messed up he'd been the last time he'd managed to wake up he wouldn't be especially surprised at that development.

But, no. He could sense that he was still as alive as he could be, being a Shinigami in a spirit world and all. He could sense things happening just beyond the realm he was in: snatches of conversation, his body being moved, someone trying to communicate with him. But he was unable to move, or speak, wherever he was.

Ichigo could see nothing but blanked-out space around him. He didn't sense any hostility or ill-will towards him, so he wasn't urgently trying to escape. It was kind of peaceful, actually. It was almost exactly the opposite of that great yawning black void that had almost swallowed him whole.

There was also the fact that the pain leached away slowly the longer he lay here, which was a definite plus. He'd been at the breaking point before, when he'd been forced awake after using Getsuga Tenshou. So it was a relief, in a way, to feel like he'd backed away from that razor-thin edge into more solid footing.

Ichigo let his thoughts fade once again as he slid easily back into a light doze. He slept a lot here, too.

An indeterminable amount of time later, he found himself grumbling in pure weariness as a voice - clearer than any had managed to penetrate this cloud before - abruptly interrupted his rest. He found he could finally move, as he slowly pushed himself to a sitting position. He glanced around but still didn't see anything.

"What?" He asked grumpily. He still felt that he should _want_ to wake up, or something, but all he could manage was a mild irritation that he'd been woken up.

The voice sounded again and he realized it was his hollow. He'd been concerned that he couldn't hear his spirits, but it looked like they'd found a way.

 _King, ya giant dumbass, wake up!_

"..Hichigo? Where have you been?" Ichigo struggled to stand. What did he mean, wake up? Wasn't he damn well talking to him right now? Unless this was a dream, he didn't know how much more awake he could get.

 _Jeez, you're a pain in the ass. I've been right here the whole damn time, tryin' to make you get your lazy ass in gear. You're the one who checked out! Fallin' over and never getting' back up again. Ought'a kick your ass for this. Old man's been worried in here, ya know._

Ichigo was definitely lost here. If his spirits were this worried – he could tell that Hichigo was, too, despite his caring words – then what was going on? One thing he did know was that he'd never get straightforward answers out of hollow.

He sighed and cut him off before his washed-out twin could continue to rant. "Oi, shut up. Zangetsu? You here?"

Hichigo spluttered curses at Ichigo's dismissal, but was also interrupted when Zangetsu's low, soothing voice echoed across the white landscape that Ichigo was still stuck in.

 _Ichigo, it is good that you have finally recovered. We feared that you would never wake._

Ichigo groaned aloud and grabbed his hair in frustration. "Explain what the fuck is going on here!"

There was a brief pause. _I apologize, I was unaware that you did not know the situation._ He had a feeling Zangetsu was glaring reprovingly at his hollow. _In human terms, Ichigo, you are in a coma. I do not know how Shinigami normally react to such a thing, but in your case you have been completely unconscious, both in your body and within your inner world. Your body is here, but you are not._

"What do you mean I'm not there? How am I talking to you if I'm not awake?" Ichigo scrubbed at his face with both hands.

 _I do not know. We are talking, yet your body in front of us is still unresponsive. I had theorized that your soul was forcing you to heal, both in your soulscape with us and in the real world. But now you are communicating, so I am unsure what to think. Try to wake up, Ichigo._

 _Ya King, you've been wherever you are for three goddamn weeks. I'm about to off myself out of boredom here._

"I still don't really get it, but I'll try to wake up.. again." Ichigo growled.

He'd been here three weeks? Then it was definitely time to get out of here and back to living, now that he actually _could_ move on with his life. The artificial soul was dead, and Central 46 had been dealt with, so he could try to, finally, get his life together.

He put his hands on his hips and scanned the area around him thoroughly. His soul forcing him to heal, he sort of got. It had taken a lot of damage, had been ripped apart in multiple ways, and he'd been one step away from dying. But how could it keep him from waking up in his own body?

The only thing Ichigo could work out was that he was still inside of his soul, but sort of removed from his physical body. Maybe he'd needed to be in this form to recover? Kind of like being forced to stay still so he couldn't damage himself further by trying to push himself too far before he was ready.

As much as he could understand that, Ichigo wanted to wake up now that he was aware of what was happening. He wasn't at one hundred percent yet, he knew that. He felt weak and washed out, and really, really tired. But he wasn't coughing, and his chest barely burned in discomfort. It was no where near the agony of before.

He was ready.

Even as he thought it, the white was swirling and rushing past him. He saw clear, bright blue overtaking it, chasing away the fog. Ichigo blinked, and saw the sky high above, dotted with fluffy clouds, lazily moving across in an invisible breeze. His fingertips twitched, and he felt the smoothness of glass beneath him. And sighed in pure relief. All he'd needed was to feel like he could leave, and he had. Thank god some things were going easier for him. It was a promising start.

Before he could even sit up, his spirits were looming over him.

 _King! Ya actually managed to do it. Color me surprised that you did somethin' right on the first try._ He was cackling as he reached a hand down to grasp the front of Ichigo's Shinigami uniform in one strong fist. Ichigo went from prone to standing in less than a second, wobbling at the sudden change.

"Yeah, thanks a lot, Hichigo. Good to see you too." He said sarcastically, but he couldn't keep the grin off of his face. Damn it felt good to, well, feel so good. He turned to his Zanpakuto. "Hey, Zangetsu. Sorry to make you worry."

 _As long as you have recovered, I am content. However, we will have to talk at another time. Ichigo, it is time to completely wake up._

Ichigo nodded and took a deep breath. Here went nothing.

It took a slight push, like he was forcing himself through something thick and viscous. But with a grunt, he managed to shove up into consciousness.

He didn't immediately open his eyes, trying to take stock of everything before he was poked and prodded. His body felt slightly worse out here, but that was to be expected. He was laying down in a bed, and couldn't hear anything except for the rustling of paper and the scratch of a pen. He would know that familiar sound anywhere.

He forced his eyes to open, blinking blearily in the overhead light until his eyes adjusted. He was in the hospital rooms located within the Fourth barracks, like he'd figured, since apparently he'd been out for three weeks - which would account for how stiff he felt. His hand immediately closed around his ever-present Zanpakuto, which was laying on the bed parallel to his body, feeling that familiar rush of comfort. When he felt ready, he glanced to the side and smiled when he saw flowers, notes and a myriad of other small gifts. His friends keeping close, he thought with relief.

Ichigo followed the noise to the other side of his bed and knew without even having to look that he'd find Urahara there.

The blonde-haired Shinigami was hunched over his latest scientific theory or project, face set in concentration as he scratched out a note and quickly scrawled a new one. Judging from his presence, Ichigo figured that his friends had taken turns being here in case he woke up. He would have told them not to bother, but he appreciated it nonetheless.

"You drew babysitting duty on a lucky day, it seems." Ichigo's voice was tired but steady.

He was happy to note that the previous hoarseness that had come from his constant coughing, and the tickling in the back of his throat, were both completely gone. That, more than perhaps anything else, made him sure that he was on the mend.

He got a perverse pleasure when his friend jerked his head up as he spoke, eyes widening before they softened into a grin that matched Ichigo's. The other man put aside his research and pulled his chair closer to Ichigo's bed.

"Kurosaki-san! I'm glad you've finally decided to join us." His gray eyes scanned his face thoroughly, until Ichigo wanted to squirm. He moved his head in a firm nod, apparently satisfied with what he saw. "You look much better. I had feared, after we last spoke, that you would either be unable to wake up or that you would refuse to."

His smile faded as he remembered that moment, when he'd been so close to letting it all go just to escape the agony. He cleared his throat. "Yeah, I bet. I didn't even know I was in a coma, or whatever, until just a few minutes ago. As soon as Zangetsu explained what was going on, I came back. You can't get rid of me that easily." He halfheartedly joked, but knew that Urahara would glean from his words what he really wanted to say: that Ichigo had decided that he wanted to come back, no matter what. That he hadn't been broken or given up.

Urahara's nod acknowledged that, his shoulders relaxing slightly as if in relief. "As you are with us once more, and mostly recovered, I take it that you successfully dealt with the Mod Soul."

Ichigo sighed as he remembered. "I did what I had to do. Just my spirits and I are in here now." He said, lightly touching a hand to his chest. It would be awhile before the bitterness faded and he was able to speak of the artificial soul. But he fully intended to talk to Urahara about them some day in the near future. At the very least he owed the soul that much.

Urahara was silent for a moment, seeming to deliberate if he wanted to speak. Ichigo raised an eyebrow at his hesitation.

"What is it, Urahara-san?"

He drew out his ever-present fan and snapped it open and closed. It unnerved Ichigo to see the other man fidget like that. He was about to demand that he just spit it out, when he finally spoke.

"Before I call for your friends and Captain Unohana to check you over, I wanted to discuss something with you."

Ichigo nodded at him to continue, pushing into a sitting position so that he wasn't on his back for something that was obviously important.

"You asked me, when your father came to visit, to share with you what we planned to discuss while you went into your soulscape. After seeing your state before you fell into a coma, I felt the need to put the idea forth, even though you are much improved." The fan was now hiding Urahara's face, and the ridiculous hat shadowed his eyes, so that Ichigo couldn't tell what he was thinking. "Kurosaki-san, he asked me if I could sneak you out of Soul Society if you wished to go. Much like the Visoreds, Tessai, and myself did long ago."

Huh. He hadn't even considered that, honestly. He should have, because it was definitely an option. But Shinigami weren't allowed to leave without permission whatsoever, so they'd feel obligated to find him. He'd be spending his days in hiding, forced to wear a Gigai indefinitely, which he couldn't see himself doing.

On the other hand, he would finally have a choice about whether he wanted to stay here or not. He could go home and stay with his family. He was sure Urahara had some trick up his sleeve to so that Ichigo could avoid detection if he wanted to do that. He wouldn't have to stay in Soul Society, among people who had tried their best to kill him. And that had succeeded in imprisoning him. But even as he considered that all of that, he was already shaking his head.

"Thanks, Urahara-san. Really. But I don't want to hide, and I'd always be looking over my shoulder if I did that. It'd be great to live as normal a life as I could.. but the fact is I can't go back to being human anymore. I'm not going age like my friends back in Karakura town, and I couldn't use my Zanpakuto or hollow powers to fight or protect anyone. I'm always going to be stuck as a Shinigami, regardless of where I am. It will just be easier to be one here. So, I'm going make the best of it. If, in the future, something happens or I change my mind..?" He trailed off uncertainly.

Urahara lowered the fan and smiled at him. "Then the offer is open as long as I am able to fulfill it, Kurosaki-san. I was hesitating to bring it up at all so soon after everything, in case you made a rash decision, but I rather thought that you would want all of your choices up front."

Ichigo huffed a laugh. "I think we've gotten to know each other way too well the last few months."

Urahara chuckled in agreement before he stood and stretched, scooping up his forgotten research notes. "I should go inform your friends that you have finally woken up. They have been by nearly every day to check up on you. And Hirako has been badgering me non-stop once Kensei told him about our interaction with your hollow. It appears that they have finally been convinced that your hollow has changed and is not trying to take you over, and so they are eager to begin."

 _I wasn't tryin' ta convince the idiots, I wanted ta kill 'em._

 _Well, either way, it happened. Guess you're not as scary as you thought._

Hichigo snarled, but Ichigo was already replying to Urahara. "I'm glad that they may be able to make their situation better. I'm not really sure where I'll be after they release me, but they can come talk to me anytime. Although maybe they can wait a few days - they're going to want me to demonstrate again and I'm not up to it quite yet." He said ruefully, gesturing at his own slumped form.

"Indeed," He smiled before opening the door to Ichigo's room. "You know, Kursosaki-san, the last few months have been at once wonderful and truly awful."

Ichigo smirked. "I know exactly what you mean, Urahara-san."

Not long afterward, his friends rushed into the room in a mismatched assembly. He was shocked to see Chad, Ishida and Inoue among them, but they must have called Inoue to heal him after he hadn't woken up. He was more than glad to see them after so long. He grinned around at them all. This was the lightest and most care-free that he had felt since that long-ago war with Aizen.

Inoue sobbed into her hands as soon as she spotted him, mumbling how happy she was that he was alive.

Rukia patted her consolingly and gave him that special, rare smile.

Renji gave him such a hearty pat on the back that he almost fell off the bed, his grin so wide and ferocious-looking that it would have scared anyone who didn't know him.

Ishida told him how crappy he looked, before gifting him with human clothes that he'd made for Ichigo to wear in Soul Society.

Chad gave him a silent fist-bump, a gentle smile on his lips, fingering the gold medallion he always wore.

And Ichigo, as he looked around at his friends, realized something important. He might not be okay, and he hadn't wanted to be stuck here in Soul Society, and he had a very uncertain future ahead of him.. but he wouldn't give up this moment for anything. He had more than enough time ahead of him to make things right in his life. But right now, at this very moment, he was happy and he was free. And no one could ask for better than that.


End file.
